What to do when your spouse wishes you are dead

October 21, 2017

I am writing this due to the fact that at times, someone can wish his or her spouse is no longer alive. The reason is not far-fetched; we want to be free from the marriage. May you want to say that is it needful for one’s spouse to die before one is free?

After all, divorce is an option that can be explored. The truth is that the death option saves a spouse from the divorce stress and stigmatization. After all, the marital vow is about ‘’till death do us part’’. The other day, I heard that at a public gathering, a call was made for widows present to stand up. A woman whose husband sat right beside her stood up and when the husband tried to correct her, thinking she misunderstood the call, she told him to save his breath: she heard correctly. She would be better off as a widow. The message in that incident is this: she was no longer enjoying the marriage.

For a spouse to wish his/her partner dead speaks volume. It therefore calls for urgent steps to be taken to avert the death wish and save the situation. Or is it not a popular saying that no one sells a winning horse? Or better still, you don’t kill the hen that lays the golden egg. In a nut shell, what I am driving at is that, if a spouse wishes his/her partner dead, that partner obviously must have become irrelevant in that marriage. So, such a partner on whose head the death wish is hanging needs to act fast by taking the following steps:

Assess your commitment to your marital responsibility to identify what you are doing wrongly. Such may include emotional abuse, excessive neglect of husband/wife provision of care and comfort, unequal constant battering, and disloyalty. There is definitely no smoke without a fire. You must have been making life unbearable for your spouse. I mean if he/she is enjoying the marriage, such a death wish will never be needful. Don’t start arguing that your spouse also has his/her faults. Deal with yourself, and see how it will positively impact on your spouse.
Once the gray areas of your side are identified, take bold, corrective measure. Sit down and think through the solution. Go for counseling from the right quarters. The usual attitude of couples is to play the blame game. That is why solutions to many marital conflicts end in disaster. When you correct yourself, you will be amazed at the positive impact it will have on your spouse. After all, change leads to change.

Once the conditions or situations that make the marriage unbearable are dealt with, honeymoon forever is guaranteed as opposed to the death wish. This is wisdom key to keep one alive and live to enjoy the fruit of one’s labour.

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