Habits that fuel divorce

Divorce today, has become an option for many couples. They easily embrace it and seem not to be bothered about its consequences. In fact, many who would not have given divorce a thought now find an excuse to tow that path.

I believe that the following are breeding grounds for divorce in our world today.

Unending criticisms of one’s spouse

When a spouse finds it so convenient to criticise the other partner, at every opportunity, then divorce becomes imminent. Like a preacher said, “when a spouse becomes his/her partner’s greatest critic, rather than the biggest supporter, the ground for divorce has been prepared”. Nothing batters the ego of a spouse as much as constant criticism from the significant other.

Living independently

Nothing weakens a marriage as much as this. Marriage is a union and not a separator. So, when couples keep separate rooms, cars, friends and other valuables being itemised as belonging to either the husband or the wife, it portends great danger for the marriage. Any spouse who does this should never have been married in the first instance.

Dwelling on hurts and keeping grudges

When a spouse engages in keeping records of bad behaviours of his /her partner and refers to such offences at the slightest opportunity, divorce is a matter of time. Couples must learn to forgive each other and forget the hurts caused each other if they want their ‘till death do us part’ marital vow to come to past.

Trying to change the personality of each other

I have come to discover that couples try to make each other fit into the ideal box of the person they desire in marriage. But, the truth is that no one can change another person into the perfect person of his/her choice. Couples must learn to accept their personalities rather than forcing one to behave the way the other desires. So, instead of working on your spouse to change, work on yourself.

Taking decisions without consideration for the other partner’s input or feelings

Couples must realise that every decision impacts on each other, so we must carry ourselves along in the decision making process.

Being selfish

Humans are all naturally selfish, giving ourselves first consideration in most things. Every spouse must work on himself/herself to deal with this selfish nature in us.

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