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GENDER MATTERS

Need to find social security outside social media

Yejide Gbenga-Ogundare
September 24, 2021
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Continued from last week

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent — Eleanor Roosevelt
The situation of things on the social circuit especially the huge change in value set has made it difficult to differentiate normal human need for affirmation and seeking validation from strangers. There is indeed a thin line between seeking and getting fulfillment as a genuine human need and the unhealthy obsession that makes the opinion and validation of people you may never meet matter to you causing many people to devote a lot of productive time to checking social media apps incessantly to see if someone has commented, like or shared their posts or checking on what people you think are celebrities are doing constantly in order to emulate them to feel good, consequently, making strangers your standard without knowing their story or challenges.
In fact, the whole existence of some people is premixed on commenting on various celebrities’ post and hoping they like their comment or reply. Falling for the mirage on social media rather than simply connecting with others and building a sense of community while maintaining your personal space, focus and standard as well as mental health is deadly.
If the high point of your daily activities depend on the feeling you get from notifications on social media, it indeed time to turn off notifications and move away from social media in order to be able to access the real life apart from make believe and decide on the path to focus on individual goals. This helps to determine if what you have in an obsession, addiction or simply taking fun from posts which in itself is harmless.
There is an ultimate need to be able to objectively differentiate between affirmation and validation based on what exactly we seek from our engagements. It is time to get self worth and not wait on others especially strangers to add vaklue to our person with vain and insincere compliments.
While it is easy at this age to equate sweet words, hailing and likes on social media to mean we are loved, we must realize that the same set that hail you today, may tomorrow call for your head. Keep your reality and stop making your life and challenges the fodder of gist at the dinner table or countless in whatsapp groups. Draw the line between real life and the mirage of social media. Learn to live your truth, stop breaking your back and living out of your comfort zone to impress people that do not know your struggles or care about you.
Do not fake life so much that your life becomes a topic for banters and cruise on social media in a society that thrives on a drama a day. Learn to identify superficial things that do not add value to your existence. Life goes beyond who has the most followers or who looks the prettiest or happiest in their photos. The real meaning of life comes only from living our own truth and creating our own happiness.
So, when we stop seeking recognition, we recognize ourselves and validate our own worth. We trust ourselves and follow our own inner compass on the journey of life. We stop letting others affect our happiness, because we intentionally discover what truly matters to us.
Build your confidence, let no one get into your mind and create an unrealistic picture with their insincere and fake lifestyle. Be you, do you and be happy. Don’t be too focused on what people on social media think about you and lose focus or fall into depression.
You may be better than many people you aspire to be like on social media, remember, they only show you what they want you to see and believe. Every individual has their own challenges and fears but they don’t bring it to social media, try and create your personal yardstick for success and progress, no one journey is like your own, therefore, it is not logical or reasonable to use their yardstick for your own journey.
It’s easy to get caught up in fulfilling a most basic human instinct of feeling included and valued by others as it is basic human nature to seek recognition in one form or another but one must take precaution not to fall into the vicious cycle of depending on validation from people especially strangers on social media for happiness and self-worth.
CONCLUDED

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