One of the skills I had to develop very early in life is what I want to share with you at this moment. Why am I doing this? Because it is your success that brings me joy. Nothing brings me joy more than seeing people become successful in whatever field they are found. This is what drives me like “Jehu” of this world!
What I want to share with you has helped me a great deal and I am so sure that it would help you too, on the condition that you can deliberately apply it. It is a leadership skill and it works everywhere and in every generation. It is no respecter of persons. It works for both black and white folks.
Also, it has nothing to do with your level of education. And it has nothing to do with the social standing of your parents. There is no one who is successful today—who is not deliberately deploying this skill. In other words, if success is what you desire, you must take what I want to share with you very seriously and work it out in shoe leather.
One of the major skills you will need to develop and continue to hone for as long as you breathe is people skills. It is one quality that stands out as far more important than others. If you are in leadership and you do not master this skill, you can never be effective in your office. In fact, it is one of the reasons many leaders die being alone. And it is a major reason why people wrongly say that it is lonely at the top.
How do you improve your people skills? You will need one quality and it is called charm! To start with, what are people skills? They are patterns of behavior and behavioral interactions. Now that you know what people skills are, let me also define to you what charm is…It is the ability to create extraordinary rapport with anyone, and make him or her feel truly exceptional in your presence. Joseph in the Bible had charm and deployed it always. He deployed it when he met with the butler and the baker. He had the ability to create extraordinary rapport with folks and make them feel truly exceptional in his presence.
There are people who reduce you to almost nothing when you stand in their presence. They are void of charm. This is why they are not successful as those who have charm. Those who have charm have a way of making you feel like a king, standing before them. They understand that the more they make people feel important, the more they are drawn and attracted to them.
No matter how skilled, smart, or experienced you may be, most of your ability to succeed at anything depends on your ability to win people over, to convince them and to charm them without controlling them. It is wrong to win people to your side by using witchcraft, but it is not wrong to charm them. Witchcraft is evil, but charming people is very awesome within the context of leadership.
Taking this crucial issue further, I like to unveil to you what the deepest craving of human nature is. What many think to be the deepest craving of human nature is not what it is. They think the deepest craving of human nature is money. No! The deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel valued and valuable. If you can make people feel valued and valuable, you will win them to your side!
What then is the secret of charm? To make others feel important, especially those who are relevant to your life, leadership and business. If you can master this quality, you will never lack quality people in your life, leadership and business. This charm works everyday and everywhere! Be very deliberate about it and watch your life travel northward.
How do you make people perceive that you are charming? The more important you make people feel, the more charming they will perceive you to be. From this moment, always make those who stand in your presence feel important. Sales people do not joke with what I am teaching you right now. You lack credible people in your life, because you habitually make people feel less important in your presence.
How do you then master charm? Number one, you must understand that the greatest gift you can give other people is the attitude of “unconditional positive regard.” That is, you accept them in their entirety, without limitation. The best way is to express complete acceptance is simple: you smile. When you smile with happiness when you see people, their self-esteem will jump up automatically. Remember, people like those who make them feel this way.
Two, you must learn how to show appreciation. How do you do that? You can show appreciation by saying “thank you” on every occasion; for any large or small reason. Make it a habit of thanking everyone in your world for everything they do for you. Whenever you smile or say thank you, people’s self-esteem jump up!
Three, all humans have a deep subconscious need for approval. For this reason, giving approval or praise to others often will make them feel wonderful about themselves and they will find you highly likeable.
Four, when you give people a genuine compliment about a trait or an accomplishment; they automatically feel better about themselves. Lastly, attention is the most powerful behavior for building rapport and it is the key to instant charm. When you pay close attention to other people—the more valuable they will feel they are.
If you can put into practice all you have in this piece, you would start winning people to your side and right before your very eyes, you would start climbing the ladder of success. Till I come your way again next week Monday, see you where successful leaders are found!