Abiola Oyeside is a woman of many parts; she is a operation manager, real estate practitioner, author, bible teacher and the director of a commercial cleaning company, RMR. She speaks with ADEOLA OJO on her passion for women and children, restriction on women in the professional circle, life as a writer, traditional roles for women and other issues.
You seem to have a passion for women and children, what influenced this?
I am passionate about women and children because I can relate to their pain and limitations. As a woman and mother raised by a man, I understand the world of men, the restrictions on women at home and in society, and the unheard voices of children, especially in communities where children are expected to remain silent forgotten that they are the leaders of tomorrow. In a community that forgot that the mental stability of the mother is very important to raised children with right mindset.
That is why most African leaders don’t listen to their citizen because they were raised with the mindset that anyone you are above should only obey you not question your decision and if they do you should silent them, all this did not start when they become leaders but right from their childhood so all these put passion in me to help women and children.
You have written some books, what is the vision behind this?
I write Christian books, the vision behind this is to make salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ accessible and free for all. The focus is on promoting truthful understanding of the word of God which can lead to genuine character development and forming a Godly society. I see a society where women can genuinely be safe from all kinds of sexual harassment and ill treatment, Godly communities where right mindset will be impacted into children to grow into responsible adults, a nation that would raise ethical and Godly leaders. This vision can only be possible when all are free from the chain of religion and have personal relationship with their maker through the Lord Jesus Christ, in whom they will realize their full potential and able to exercise their dominion over sin and evils.
Do you think there’s a restriction on women in the professional circle?
There is a significant restriction on women in the professional circle, especially in countries where cultural beliefs dictate that women should be homemakers and primarily focus on childbearing. Women are often considered weak and are frequently looked down upon. This perception leads to the creation of rules and regulations that restrict women from reaching their full potential in professional settings. I have experienced the pain of this when I was working with a company as operation manager, I fought harder to attain the position I would have gotten very easily if I were to be a man because they believe woman cannot manage such projects despite my qualification and my experiences, the industry is labelled as men domain so all top position are meant for men but before I left to start my own company, I thank my God that by His grace and mercy upon me, I was able to break that evil rules, changed that narrative and opened ways for other women in that company to climb the leather of their career. And what surprises me most is that this discrimination against women did not end in the secular world, it is happening within the churches that are supposed to be good examples of equal opportunity, some churches have rules whereby a woman cannot lead church.
Do you agree that cultural beliefs and societal norms play a significant role in restricting women’s professional opportunities?
All perception begins from cultural beliefs, people raised their children based on their cultural beliefs, community are formed and operate based on cultural beliefs systems which formed society norms and the same cultural believe and society norms are the foundation of discrimination against women, denying them professional opportunities. There are cultural beliefs that women should be a baby factory so they give their boys opportunity to study and groom their girls to become baby producers for men, with that kind of cultural mindset and society norms it will be so difficult for many women to receive professional opportunities. I’m still waiting for a time when a woman will become Nigeria president or function peacefully in the corridor of power without sexual harassment and dishonouring.
Yes, cultural beliefs and societal norms do play a significant role in restricting women’s professional opportunities. These norms and beliefs often dictate that women should prioritize family and care giving responsibilities over their careers, which can limit their professional growth and advancement. For example, women are often forced to give sacrificed their career to accommodate her family belief and culture Workplace culture often mirrors these societal norms, perpetuating gender biases that hinder women’s career growth. This can result in fewer women in leadership positions and a lack of support for women balancing professional and personal responsibilities. Additionally, traditional practices and religious rules can restrict women’s education, work opportunities, and social participation, further limiting their professional opportunities. Efforts to challenge and change these cultural norms are essential for creating a more inclusive and supportive environment for women in the workforce.
How easy is it to be a female professional in a world where there are traditional gender roles?
Being a female professional in a world where traditional gender roles are prevalent can be quite challenging. Cultural beliefs often dictate that women should be homemakers and focus primarily on childbearing. This perception leads to the creation of rules and regulations that restrict women from reaching their full potential in professional settings.
What are your thoughts about women in politics and leadership?
Women have the potential to excel in politics and leadership if given the opportunity and a supportive environment. They are inherently builders, multipliers, and creators, bringing life to anything they are given. However, to truly thrive, women require respect and space, free from discrimination and sexual harassment.
The belief is that women can perform better if they are allowed to be themselves without facing these challenges. There is a hope that one day, countries like Nigeria, the largest on the African continent, will have a woman as president.
What are your thoughts on women having streams of income?
It is important for women to have their own sources of income. Women can contribute significantly and should live a life of liability. Women should be a good example that a woman can be a wife, a mother and have source of income while maintained healthy balance across all the roles. Being a helper is our calling, both at home and in our community. Financial independence maintains our dignity and identity. There is no honour in being a financial burden. Unless disabled, women should have an income source. If going out to work isn’t possible, consider turning a room into a nursery or starting an online business. Use your hobbies and skills to generate income. Women should always have their own financial resources.
Do you agree with the assertion that religion and culture aid violation of women rights?
Yes, I agree, especially in Africa, religion and some unhealthy cultures contribute significantly to the violation of women’s rights.
What will you say about the role of women in moulding the society and entrenching values?
Women significantly shape society and instil values through our roles in family and community. We are primary caregivers and educators. In many cultures, women are often having closer relationship with the children hence influenced children greatly; you can tell how a community or nation treats their women by the kind of youth in that community. All responsible and empathic leaders were once a child and all criminal wicked leader also once a child the different is their upbringings and the society. a society that does not respect and honour women will produce wicked and irresponsible leaders. As a mother, wife, professionals and leaders, we help create a more equitable and compassionate world, but we need a peaceful environment free of domestic violet, discrimination, harassment to mould and entrench right values.
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