Abuse of marital purposes is destructive

MARRIAGE is contracted by people for various reasons. One woman said she got married because others around her were getting married, and she didn’t want her case to be different. So, before you called, Jack Robinson, she found herself in the marriage institution. Some married for love, while some others married for wealth. A lady got married because she wanted to escape the wickedness of her stepmother. However, there are three purposes of marriage that have become popularly accepted and are canvased at the point of entry into the marital journey. The court, church, and mosque settings, notwithstanding. These are for companionship, procreation, and avoidance of illicit sex. Each marriage should therefore be termed successful if these purposes are fulfilled.

There is a popular saying that “Where purpose is unknown, abuse is imminent.” That is great and well thought out by the author. However, I have this statement coined out of the saying, and it says, “Where abuse of purpose occurs, destruction is imminent.” We once had a car in our family that was greatly abused with respect to servicing the engine. Don’t ask me what happened to it eventually. The end result of the abuse-destruction was the outcome. Abuse of any purpose will definitely be the end of the road for that thing, without fail.

Now, concerning marriage. Where an abuse of any of the purposes takes place, the marriage moves from being endangered to being destroyed. Today’s world reveals a lot of marriages suffering from the abuse of purposes of marriage. No wonder the marriage institution has become a new ball game altogether. In many marriages, things are falling apart and the centre is no longer holding. The reason is basically due to the reckless abandonment of the purposes of marriage by many actors. It is more difficult to stay happily married these days due to the many things enhancing the abuse of the purposes of marriage. Let us consider each purpose in the light of the abuse.

Companionship is the first purpose of marriage. I don’t think there should be any controversy about it. Companionship includes friendship, intimacy, physical and s3xual oneness, etc. In today’s world, many marriages are suffering from the abuse of the purpose of companionship, for various reasons. Many couples have salary work with differing conditions of service. This impacts negatively on the amount of time available for them to spend together as married couples.

 Aside from that, many couples are into ‘weekend partners’, especially ‘weekend husbands’, due to the nature of their work. This means that the only time available for them for physical companionship is during the weekend.

For those sojourning in overseas such as the United Kingdom and the United States of America, the rat race for survival has bedeviled the companionship of many marriages. It’s so bad that, as many husbands are coming home, the wives are leaving for the workplace. As a matter of fact, some only meet at the train or bus stations to exchange the key to the house. Little wonder the marriage institution out there is a shadow of its vision, forcing many to endure rather than enjoy the marriage.

There is no doubt that the purpose of companionship in marriage is seriously suffering from great abuse. Therefore, the resultant effects are growing marital discontent and, an increasing rate of divorce, among others.

Concerning the purpose of procreation, the many ‘out of wedlock’ children attest to the abusive nature of the purpose. Someone jokingly said that in those days, we used to have many children fathered by a father, but today, we have more of a child fathered by many fathers, in the marriage. That is how deep the purpose of procreation has sunk into the miry clay. Many marriages have children from outside of it, either by the husbands or the wives. This situation was occasioned by the abuse of the purpose of sexual enjoyment. The marriage institution should be the breeding ground for children, but the case is different today. Children are born out of wedlock and given legitimacy. Thus, the phrase, illegitimate child, no longer applies to children born out of wedlock. The new song these days is that every child has a father, within or without marriage.

Marriage is a legal ground for s3xual intimacy. Marriage allows us to have s3x without being ashamed. That’s why the Bible says that “the man and woman were both naked and were not ashamed”, speaking of Adam and Eve. (Genesis 2:25) But, today, the illicit s3x ongoing among married couples has made a mess of the purpose of avoidance of illicit s3x. Married people engage in s3x outside the marriage with great impunity. It’s looking like the norm rather than the exception.

Not only that, many marriages are s3x-starved due to the activities of the participants. It’s either the busy schedule negatively impacting the s3x life in the marriage or challenges of finance, health, and spiritual beliefs that are the culprits of s3x starvation. Thus, many married couples are not s3xually fulfilled. Rather, many are suffering and smiling, while others are settling scores through extramarital affairs.

So, if you are wondering about the insanity that has bedeviled the marriage institution in our days, the direction to look at is the abuse of the purposes of marriage. It is so entrenched in the fabrics of it, that only an intentional act can turn the tide around. The destruction is massive, and the consequences are becoming rather unbearable. If sanity must return to the marriage institution, our concerted effort is needed for intentional steps towards ending, or at least, minimising the abuse of the purposes of marriage.

May God help us in this direction.

You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’, and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’. For details, please contact 08112658560. SMS only please.

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