At a time like this when people take stock of the year many emotions are evoked . . . joy, peace, fulfilment, sadness, fear, pain and regret. Regret seems to be a more predominant emotion at the end of the year. Many people wish if they had the power they would have changed things . . . they would have loved to turn back the clock and make amends.
There is no such thing as a life without any regrets. We have all done some things that, on looking back, we regret. There were things said which ought not to have been said. There were things which ought to have been said but were not said. There were things which ought to be said but were said at the wrong time and in the wrong way. There were places which ought not to have been visited but which we frequented. There were relationships which we ought not to have cultivated but which we nurtured and cherished.
We all have situations and circumstances that if given a second chance we will handle differently. If only we can turn back the clock, we think many times, but unfortunately regret can never turn back the clock.
Regret is a bitter pill we can always refuse to swallow. Living in regret is exhibiting and living with negative emotions. Living life under the shadow of regret is like being sentenced to a life imprisonment of bitterness, anger and frustration. Living in regret burns the bridge that will take us from the past to the future.
We must leave the dark shadow of the pains, sorrows and regret of yesterday behind. We must get over our disappointment, sorrows, and failures and get healed of the pain of regret. Regret need not become burdens that interfere with our present happiness. We need not allow regret to restrict our ability to dream of and create our desired future. Regret is a potent tool that kills the motivation to move forward in life. Regret will always want us to look back and we cannot move forward and look back at the same time.
The good news is that we can deal with, handle and overcome regrets. The first step in this direction is to remove the veil from our face so we can see clearly. Regret blindfolds people so they cannot see things with a rational mind.
We must step back, step out and take a dispassionate view of our predicament. What exactly is the problem? What exactly has brought us to where we are now? What are the events of the year that has led to the regret of today?
We cannot afford to look at what we are going through sentimentally. When life deals a bad blow on us the luxury of being emotional is too expensive. We have to get ourselves together and have a good look at the facts on ground. When we give too much precedence to our emotional feelings we stand the risk of having a distorted view of our situation.
Regret does not change the clock but it can make our clock to stop working completely. Many people who are caught in the web of regret, many times, get to the point when they no longer take responsibility for their lives.
We cannot move forward in life – moving from the dark shadows of yesterday into the glorious future ahead of us if we let regret stop our clock from ticking.
Yes, get angry, get moody, cry, moan but pull yourself together and move on – you still have your whole life ahead of you.
Forgive yourself, forgive those who put you in the mess, forgive the society that facilitated your adversity.
If you cannot help yourself then seek help.