Would you access your spouse’s phone without his/her consent?

MOBILE phones are technological appliances used in aiding communication among family, friends and acquaintances. It is regarded as private property as they are used to keep files, documents, messages, pictures as well as chats. Most times, they are barred with security measures to evade prying eyes or third parties having access to private information of its owners. Same is applicable in marriage that ‘a man leaves his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh; thus making a man and a woman a private entity devoid of prying eyes even to their parents who begat them. Hence, phone is an individual/private property which authority lies with its owner. With above assertion, would you access your spouse’s phone without his/her consent?

On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts said on the issue:

Mubaraq Yusuf

It’s outrageously invasion of privacy honestly. Forget the fact that he or she is your partner whom you trust so much and should be free with at all times. Accessing people’s phones nowadays can be very disastrous in that some information you get exposed to can ruin everything you’ve built. It’s wrong to access your spouse’s phone unauthorised. ‘Ignorance is bliss’

Emmanuel Oni

I don’t think there is anything wrong in accessing your spouse’s phone, but it all depends on the motive behind your action. Although, we’re in a time where trust is eroding from the fray of love and relationships. If not, what God has joined together, I don’t think phones should be a problem.

Shola Adebayo

There is nothing wrong if I check my spouses phone without her consent or if she checks my phone as well. Why should spouses hide their phones from each other? Have we forgotten what the Bible says in Genesis 2:24 ‘…and the two shall become one flesh…’ Why will your spouse beg for permission before accessing your phone? If truly you and your spouse are one, nothing should be kept a secret even beyond your phone. Your spouse should know everything about you and you should know everything about your spouse too. For me, expecting your spouse to beg for permission before assessing your phone is the beginning of division.

Olubanke Olaojo

Why are we hiding our phones if truly we don’t have skeleton in our cupboards? I am not favourably disposed to coding phones because of my partner, but for the children against gaining access to my phone. Aside that either of the spouses can have access to each other’s phone if both are innocent and plain. You can imagine some spouses running home from far distance because he or she forgot his or her phone as the partner must not gain access to the information on the phone. Infidelity, extra marital affairs are usually revealed most times when partners stumble on each other’s phone. However, it’s high time we played clean games in our marriages as there is no short cut to happy marriage other than openness and transparency. The moment either of the spouses cannot freely discuss with the caller marks the outset of suspicion in the marriage. We are partners not strangers for crying out loud.

Solomon Amana

Husband and wife are one. But in character, maturity they may be different especially on how they handle issues. However, on issues like this, it depends on their courtship, if there were no restrictions then, there can’t be now and vice versa.

Joshua Adeniyi

Well, I will advise we stay away from checking one’s spouses phone especially the woman’s phone. If a man doesn’t want heart attack or unnecessary suspicion, he should just stay away. Phones are personal belongings either locked or unlocked. Permission should be sought. This particular issue has ruined many homes, especially among jealous partners. If my partner wants me to see something on her phone, she will surely beckon on me. Thus, for peace to reign such should be avoided.

Rukayat Alabi

No, there should be no secret in any relationship but a bit of privacy in any relationship. Everyone needs it, so it should be respected.

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Kehinde Oyeleye

It’s barbaric if that happens. Why should you in the first place?  Should it be because of report, baseless assumption of ‘he is cheating on you’ or a problem inferiority complex? Regardless it is consented or not, it’s not ideal to do that. The day anyone does that he/she loses his or her respect.

Dayo Aluko

I would say, don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. Snoop and find what you can stomach then a smooth sail turns stormy.

Oduniyi Dolapo

Checking on your spouses phone is not a good habit or idea. It is his personal belonging I don’t do that and I will advise all that are doing it to desist from it. Whether you check it or not if your partner wants to flirt, he/she will do it without you noticing. As for me, I leave my spouse to his conscience.

Olumide Adeniran

Definitely not, snooping through the phone is not the problem, the problem is when you snoop and you get caught snooping without finds anything incriminating.

Segun Bamidele

Yes, because we now attach some sense of privacy to stuffs like cell phones, clothes. That’s the only thing that we believe is ours and shouldn’t be tread. But what happens in the case of emergencies when you have passworded your phone and you didn’t tell your spouse. To be safe. I would say the husband should have password on the phone because of the children but the wife should know the password and shouldn’t go through it except she really has to use it, not for searching for incriminating materials.

EXPERT SPEAKS

Oluchi Arukwe is our expert on the issue. She is of the opinion  that ‘for those snooping into their partner’s phone. Remember, Bible says ‘… they were both naked and not ashamed…’ So, the ideal thing is transparency and trust. If you trust your partner even if you checking his/her phone, it wouldn’t be to snoop around for sinister motives. There is no big deal if your spouse checks your phone, however, when snooping on phone becomes an avenue to monitor your spouse, then trust has been broken. More so, as a partner, you have no reason to hide your password from your spouse except you have something in hiding. Doing this helps to build trust. Once you begin to hide things from your spouse, you already create a room for suspicion and if you find yourself snooping around your spouse’s phone, it shows that you don’t trust your partner and there are various reasons that could create this, but whatever it is, take time to work on it especially when it is an issue of broken trust.’

Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating:  Should spouse use sex as means of protest?

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