Why I don’t regret being single, childless at 40 — Toke Makinwa

Popular Nigerian media personality, Toke Makinwa, has revealed that she has fully accepted being single and childless at 40, saying she has no regrets and prefers to focus on her present life rather than dwell on what might have been.

Speaking in a new episode of her YouTube show, Toke Moments, released on Friday, the on-air personality and entrepreneur said regret is draining and she has decided not to live in it.

Makinwa, who turned 40 in 2024, explained that she now views life through a different lens and refuses to let societal expectations weigh her down.

“Regret is so exhausting,” she said. “Make today the last day that you actually live in regrets. What happened, happened. You could have done better, but you did not know better. Now you know better, so do better. Move on. Just move on.”

She urged people to stop allowing their past to shape their future, stressing the importance of releasing situations that cannot be changed.

Makinwa also addressed the pressure society places on women to get married and have children. She admitted it was once a difficult conversation for her but said she has since come to terms with her reality.

“Honestly, the hardest thing I could say out loud to myself is, ‘I am 40, I am single, I am childless.’ I said it, and I did not die,” she stated.

The media personality noted that turning 40 initially came with anxiety, unlike the excitement she felt when she turned 30. However, she said a shift in mindset helped her appreciate her achievements rather than dwell on societal milestones.

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“I can look at my life and say, ‘Oh my God, I’m 40, I don’t have a child, I don’t have a husband, people have passed me.’ Or, I can say, ‘I am 40, I am a boss, I’ve built an empire, I am one of the most resounding voices out of Africa, I have the love of family, I am in great health, I love what I do.’ It’s all about perspective,” she said.

Makinwa also spoke about growth and how some relationships naturally come to an end. She said she no longer holds on to expired friendships and doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to others.

“One of the biggest lessons for me through my years is that some friendships expire, and that’s okay,” she said. “It doesn’t mean they are bad people. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. If I’m a villain in their story, that’s fine too. I don’t even correct stories about me anymore. If you ask me what happened between me and someone, I just say, ‘Whatever they told you is what happened.’ I’m not explaining myself.”

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