Who and what we are

THE inspiration for this article is from and a response to a reader of this column’s SMS – Mr Fash. Let me seize this opportunity to thank the various people who send in SMS messages and emails in response to this column. Your words of encouragement and commendation are greatly appreciated. You are the reason for the existence of this column. Thank you.

We want to look at the issue of who we are and what we are. Many people mix up who they are with what they are, and indeed, the difference between the two can be very blurred if one is not careful.

We must be careful to know who we really are. Many times, we confuse who we are with other things. Who we are talks of our personality and our uniqueness as a human being- these are the things that makes us distinct and different from other people. Who we are is a complex mix of our behavior, temperaments, emotional and mental make-up and other things which all contribute to make us a unique and special person. This is what defines us as a person and it is the basis of our personality and identity. Who we are is our personal identity card.

Many times, people want us to be who we are not. They want us to conform to a particular mould which is a recipe for disaster. When we try to live contrary to who we are we live a lie that might please others but will hand frustration to us. “We prefer to go deformed and distorted all our lives rather than not resemble the portrait of ourselves which we ourselves have first drawn. It’s absurd. We run the risk of warping what’s best in us. “ Andre Gide

Who we are must not be confused with what we are or what we do. When we try to define our person and personality by other things we will run into an identity crisis and we set ourselves up for a life of confusion, crisis and calamity. What we are has to do mainly with our assignments, occupation, careers and status and these things should not define us.  What we do can be transient but who we are is a more fundamental and foundational matter. A man who defines himself by what he does will lose his identity when that job or assignment is taken away from him.

Who we are is something we can control of if we determine to but what we are, many times, is usually out of our control. Our status, position, job, career are all not directly under our control so defining ourselves by these things is like building on sinking sand. We are personally responsible for who we are but what we are is dependent majorly on factors extraneous to us. The good news is that what we are can be tampered with or lost but who we are is something that we must understand no man can destroy or take from us.

Who we are should form the basis of what we are. It should determine what we pour our life into. Our lives can only really count when we live our lives in line with who we are and not what we are.

“Your identity and your success go hand in hand. Many people sacrifice their identities by not doing what they really want to do. And that’s why they’re not successful.” Lila Swell.

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