One issue that requires understanding in marriage is the temperament of the two persons that make up the marriage, the husband and the wife. This will play a significant role in the success of the marriage. That is, how well each party understands each other’s temperament will help them to manage their emotions in making a success of the marriage. If you see a marriage succeeding, it means that the couple has a great understanding of their temperament.
In psychology, temperament broadly refers to consistent individual differences in behaviour that are biologically based and relatively independent of learning, system of values, and attitudes. This is the basis of the personality differences of humans.
Four types of temperament classifications have been generally identified:
Sanguine: The sanguine personality type is described primarily as being highly talkative, enthusiastic, active, and social. Sanguines tend to be more extroverted and enjoy being part of a crowd. They find that being social, outgoing, and charismatic is easy to accomplish.
Melancholy: Melancholic individuals tend to be analytical and detail-oriented, and they are deep thinkers and feelers. They are introverted and try to avoid being singled out in a crowd. A melancholic personality leads to self-reliant individuals who are thoughtful, reserved, and often anxious.
Choleric: Choleric individuals tend to be more extroverted. They are described as independent, decisive, goal-oriented, and ambitious. These combined with their dominant, result-oriented outlook make the choleric a natural leader.
Phlegmatic: Phlegmatic individuals tend to be relaxed, peaceful, quiet, and easy-going. They are sympathetic and care about others, yet they try to hide their emotions. Phlegmatic individuals are also good at generalising ideas or problems to the world and making compromises.
All these affect how couples communicate in marriage, and how successful the marriage will be. That is why it is often believed that two persons of the same temperament may not be a perfect marriage match. This is because they are likely to behave in the same manner about the issues of life.
So when there is a conflict, the sanguine wants to blow hot and give one a piece of his heart. When two sanguines get married, they will blow hot at the same time, making the conflict become “yam pepper, scatter scatter.”
The point is that when we know and understand each other’s temperament, as married couples, we will be able to manage ourselves better. When a sanguine husband is blowing hot, a melancholic wife cools down to absorb the heat. Thus, sanity will prevail over the conflict, giving room for a peaceful settlement. The same applies to other temperament types.
To communicate effectively, you will not call your wife talkative. Rather, you appreciate her for speaking out her mind. The same is also applicable to other temperament types.
It is therefore highly essential to have an understanding of the various types of temperament where you and your spouse belong so that you can effectively communicate in the marriage for it to be healthy.
This will go a long way to reduce a lot of friction in the marriage. In simple terms, it is what is referred to as understanding each other’s nature and managing the same to have a healthy marital relationship.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and ‘How to Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’. Please contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.
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