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ColumnsYour Life counts

Self esteem – How you value yourself (I)

Tunde Jaiyebo
September 1, 2024
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“I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well.” Psalms 139.14 NCV

You cannot reach your maximum potential nor make your life count if your self valuation is faulty. Your self esteem must be healthy.  Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself.

Many things influence and determine how you arrive at your self esteem hence the need for you to be cautious that you do not get adversely affected.

“Self esteem is something we feel inside but is influenced by lots of things and lots of people. It is an ongoing thing that is built over time. It’s really important you have a healthy self esteem because it affects everything about how you think feel and behave. Self esteem has a big impact on your mental health and your future. What is self esteem? Self esteem is about your self worth and how you feel about yourself. If you have low self esteem, it means you are probably low on confidence, more likely to see things in a negative light. If your self esteem is high then you’re better at self love and more positive about life in general.” Childressociety.org.uk

Low or faulty self esteem is inimical to success and it is vitally important to know the dangers that come with a faulty self esteem.

 

Symptoms of low self esteem

“Low self esteem may manifest in a variety of ways. If you have low self-esteem:

You may believe that others are better than you.

You may find expressing your needs difficult.

You may focus on your weaknesses.

You may frequently experience fear, self-doubt, and worry.

You may have a negative outlook on life and feel a lack of control.

You may have an intense fear of failure.

You may have trouble accepting positive feedback.

You may have trouble saying no and setting boundaries.

You may put other people’s needs before your own.

You may struggle with confidence.

Low self-esteem has the potential to lead to a variety of mental health disorders, including anxiety disorders and depressive disorders. You may also find it difficult to pursue your goals and maintain healthy relationships. Having low self-esteem can seriously impact your quality of life and increases your risk for experiencing suicidal thoughts.” Kendra Cherry

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.” Marcus Tullius Cicero

Other symptoms of low self esteem are:

Feel unworthy of love and respect.

Constantly fear rejection.

Putting down your own abilities and skills.

“You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens.”  Louise Hay

“People with low self confidence tend to have low self-esteem, and vice versa. Low self-esteem can play a role in causing a lack of confidence, but poor confidence can also contribute to or worsen poor self-esteem.

Being confident in yourself and your abilities allows you to know that you can rely on yourself to manage different situations. This self-trust means that you feel comfortable and confident navigating many different things you might encounter in life, which can play an important role in your overall well being.” Kendra Cherry

Los self esteem is not seeing yourself like God sees you. The permanent solution to having an ongoing healthy self esteem is having a vibrant relationship with the word of God.

“So, what’s the real source of our identity and value? Is it only about being talented or skilled? Is it our appearance or job? No. Our identity and confidence is found in Christ. In the Bible, we find that our worth isn’t about what we can do, it’s something much bigger. As God’s children, our value is firmly rooted in Christ. That means our worth is unshakable, and nothing can take that away.

Confidence is usually seen as feeling good about our abilities and self-esteem as respecting ourselves for those abilities. But, if we base our worth only on what we’re good at, what happens when those abilities aren’t valued by others? Or worse, what if we lose them? Are we worth less then? Thankfully, the Bible tells us a different story. Our real confidence comes from God’s work in our lives.

When we find our worth in Him, our confidence and self-esteem are on solid ground.” Marisa D’amore

 

  • TO BE CONTINUED

FOR ENQUIRIES AND COMMENTS PLEASE SEND EMAIL TO charismokola@yahoo.com

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