IT appears that rape continues to be a reoccurring charge and child abuse, a factor analysis, as it leaves a traumatic experience on its victims. The coronavirus pandemic has indeed unveiled the necessity to encourage the fight against sexual and gender-based violence due to the rise of such cases during the lockdown periods. As of June, over 3600 cases of rape were recorded, according to Pauline Tallen, the Minister Of Women Affairs and Social Development. Unfortunately, most of these case are not disclosed because of the conventional conduct and ideologies of silence. An incident happened at a residence in Amuloko, Ibadan, where a girl child was allegedly raped by unknown men who entered the house of the victim casually. The offenders were said to have paid a token of N2,000 to the guardian in exchange for the family’s silence. In reaction to the incident, a mother (anonymous) said “If not illiteracy and ignorance on the guardian’s part, what would the sum of N2,000 do to take away the trauma inflicted on the child?” She added that such offensive deeds should not be taken slightly.
One Mrs Akande , a woman who resides in the same area, said: “It is the duty of the parents and guardians to foresee the security of their children,most especially the female child. A mother should be on a level so high with her kids that they are able to open up when something is going on or wrong. It is wrong to let your kids out late night on errands, whatever they are supposed to do should have been done during the day time.” Speaking to a couple of youth on the matter, I encountered the belief that sexual violence is induced by child abuse. They complained about parents and guardians who send their young kids into the streets to hawk items, thereby making them defenseless against the society’s evil eye. The story of a teenage girl serves as a spotlight to this dilemma. She was carrying on with her day to day activities of hawking on the streets. It is normal to be called upon by patronizers or customers, as the aim of business is to make profit. Unfortunately, she got into the hands of the likes of these old begogyns, who assaulted her and left her for probably the worse to happen.
How do we erase this impunity? What is to become of these innocent children? They can never be or feel the same again. The pain is that most of the masterminds go scot-free! Child abuse isn’t just about black eyes. While physical abuse is shocking due to the marks it leaves, not all signs of child abuse are as obvious. Ignoring a child’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, exposing them to sexual situations, or making them feel worthless or stupid are also forms of child abuse and neglect—and they can leave deep, lasting scars on kids. Some of these scars might be physical, but emotional scarring has long lasting effects throughout life, damaging a child’s sense of self, their future relationships, and ability to function at home, work and school. Lack of trust and relationship difficulties, core feelings of being “worthless, trouble regulating emotions, are all effects of child abuse. It will be very difficult to learn to trust people or know who is trustworthy. This can lead to difficulty in maintaining relationships in adulthood or unhealthy relationships because the adult doesn’t know what a good relationship is.
Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse, often struggle with a feeling of being damaged. Abused children cannot express emotions safely, and, as a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in unexpected ways. It is a shame that the society harbors quite a number of thoughtless and uncompassionate adults! Parents and guardians should quit being blinded by ignorance! There’s no wealth accumulated that can serve or be as purposeful as that of your children. They’re your future, your insurance, a blessing to you and the society from God. Take care of them,grow with them,guard their innocence through the right part! You should not always be in a position where you have no time for your children. Also educate them, so they can understand when something is right and when it is the other way around. Stop passing your kids around, visiting and going from one house to another. Yes, it is great to give them a breathing space. Let them relate wand associate with other kids, but let them know that there’s a limit to the freedom they get. Do not give room for bad eggs to explore and exploit your children, and this will probably happen when you as a parent desist from such detached act as well!
- Olugbamiye is a student of Anchor University, Lagos.
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