Marriage not yardstick to fulfilment — Toke Makinwa

Media personality Toke Makinwa has opened up about the toll of online trolling, societal expectations, and the power of God’s timing, while expressing gratitude for her journey into motherhood.

In a post shared on her Instagram page, the former OAP revealed screenshots of the harsh messages she had received from online trolls. She explained that she has never been one to acknowledge negativity, even though the words hurt deeply at times.

“I’m not one to even acknowledge negativity. I’ve built a strong brand off the stones that have constantly been thrown at me over the years, and one thing about God, he loves the people you judge so much,” she wrote.

Toke reflected on how women are often judged by what they have not achieved, despite their professional accomplishments. She lamented that marriage has been turned into a yardstick for fulfilment, while childlessness attracts another layer of criticism.

“Funny how no matter how much you rise career-wise as a woman, society still glorifies the things that haven’t happened for you yet. Marriage has become some sort of a yardstick to fulfilment, and if you don’t have a child yet, hmmmmmmm! Very loaded sigh,” she noted.

The lifestyle entrepreneur expressed deep gratitude to God for not allowing her to settle under pressure, adding that becoming a mother happened at the perfect time. “I am thankful I did not settle, I’m thankful I got to be a mum when I am ready, I am thankful I rejected all these labels, and I am grateful it happened not when I wanted it but when God’s timing was right. It is perfect!”

She admitted to hiding throughout her pregnancy, consumed by fear and the weight of negativity around her. “Do not underestimate the power of negativity. I ran away the whole pregnancy, I became so fearful, and I shut everyone out. Then this word came: ‘Perfect love drowns out fear’. God is love, he gives good gifts, and it is perfect. I prayed it till my heart believed it,” she confessed.

Despite the hurtful words, Toke said her spirit remained unbroken. For her, the insults only reminded God of her situation and eventually led to a breakthrough. “The words hurt, but my spirit was not broken. They only reminded God about me, not that he forgot, but they challenged him to shatter the ceiling with this testimony.”

Addressing women dealing with delay or societal pressure, she encouraged them to hold on and trust God’s timing. “I know there are ladies who feel they are running out of time; society wants you to believe that you have expired, you might even start to believe it, but you are wrong.”

She advised women to drown out the noise, focus on God, and celebrate every stage of their lives. “Hold on, drown out the noise, focus on the Vine, let him do the heavy lifting, celebrate yourself at every stage, you are becoming, and everything good will come. There will be days when it’ll get tough, but the victory is worth it.”