GENDER MATTERS

Learning from the dead

THE death of Tolulope Arotile, a 24-year-old Air Force pilot with the Nigeria Air Force, is an unfortunate event that has thrown parents across the country and indeed the entire nation into mourning. But while we mourn the tragic passing of the gallant young woman who died a heroine, there are lessons that could be learnt from the dead.

Though she died at a young age, what Tolulope achieved as a woman, many women will not attain even if they die at 100. She is a woman who lived and went for her dreams like she knew her sojourn on earth was short. Today, Many women procrastinate and postpone things they could do to improve their lot and benefit humanity. Many young women are only concerned with fashion, social media trends and followership. They live like they know what the next minute holds, yet, we all know tomorrow holds no guarantee.

For many young women, the shape of their tummy, size of their boobs and bum, whether their waist is trim enough or how to shoot out their hips is what matters. If they are not wailing about the latest iphone, they are concerned about the latest Brazilian hair and which imitation cloth looks real enough. Indeed, many have turned social media to a way of life and call themselves influencers; influencers without portfolio that cannot even put together reasonable pitches to sell any product successfully.

This is not the case with the late Tolulope. Within the span of 24 years that she was a visitor on earth, Tolulope could be said to have come, seen and conquered. Her dreams never looked impossible to attain. She was determined, resilient and courageous in the pursuit of her dreams. Her life is indeed a great lesson that age is not a barrier to great achievements, and irrespective of the situation, you can achieve your dreams with hard work and diligence.

To ladies who think success depends on being seen with the most popular celebrity or the richest yahoo guy, there is a need to read the pages in the book of Tolulope’s life; she made her parents wealthy and proud through hard work. She walked the corridors of power and stood in the presence of mighty men because her skills opened the doors to her. She never had to depend on wealthy sugar daddies to make her parents comfortable, nor was her life based on the most expensive designer accessories.

Yet, she was even in death more important than those that flaunt illegal wealth around.  She allowed the process and went through the pains to get the desired results. It is said that she took the pain and hazardous process of training as a young cadet in the Nigeria Defence Academy (NDA), to the extent that her parents wanted her to pull out.

While it is indeed tragic and unfortunate to lose such a promising star to an avoidable accident, while we are mourning as a people, there are major takeaways from her life and how she lived. She left an enduring legacy that will forever be etched in the annals of achievement and list of those that worked to save this great nation and foster peace.

As there are no guarantees about tomorrow, women, both young and old, need to look back and ask, what if it’s my turn tomorrow, what will I be remembered for? We can learn from the dead by understanding that nothing is impossible to attain if we believe and are determined, there are no obstacles that cannot be breached if we set our heart to it.

But first, we need a change of orientation and swing in our dreams. What is your ambition? Is it getting the latest phone without having a source of income or having a thousand followers on Instagram? As painful as Tolulope’s death is, we have a lot to learn from her life so that she doesn’t die in vain. She will forever remain a heroine, what will you be known for and what will be said if you suddenly leave this part of the divide? Your designer wears and social media presence will mean nothing.

Tolulope’s death is a lesson to every woman. Are you ready to learn?

 

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