How women encourage gender violence

There is a popular saying that women are the enemies of women; though this usually sounds extreme but the truth is that to a large extent, many women are part of the reasons why gender-based violence and violence against women and girls continue to be a global pandemic.

Research figures revealed that one in three women is affected by gender based violence in their lifetime. The figures are disheartening; globally, seven per cent of women have been sexually assaulted by someone other than a partner, 38 per cent of murders of women are committed by an intimate partner.

Also, 35 per cent of women worldwide have experienced either physical or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence and 200 million women have experienced female genital mutilation/cutting.

Why 3 p.m. is best time for couples to make love — Hormone experts

How then do women encourage such acts? Over time, it has been discovered that women are the ones that are at the forefront of stigmatising and shaming others who are victims of diverse abuse. When a woman flees an abusive marriage, fellow women are quick to agree that she is impatient and wants to go out to be a prostitute.

When issues of rape come up, women are the first to ask the victim what she wore or why she was alone with a man. Often, the blame of abuse is placed fully on the victim, making it the responsibility of the woman to sustain a marriage, at whatever cost and even when it is obvious that staying in the marriage can cost her to lose her life, she is expected to be a wise woman and build the home.

A woman that is not afraid of going after her dreams and works at breaking the glass ceiling is often seen, even by fellow women as an extremist that is asking for too much and is usually given terrible names.

Even in the course of bringing up children, the burden of being a good and responsible wife and mother is placed on a female child early while the male child is brought up as the lord of the manor because he is male and brought up with the mindset that he is the master of the girl child and can consequently do what he wants.

Such acts add no value to the family life and society at large. We now live in a society where girls are brought up to be responsible wives to irresponsible men who have terrible upbringing that encourage gender abuse and assault in various forms.

The average man is brought up with the belief that his wife should not have a voice and must submit to him in all issues, including issues that can affect her well-being while children grow up in homes where the woman is treated like thrash and allowed to grow up with the belief that gender violence and abuse is the norm and is not wrong.

Numerous studies have shown that children growing up with violence are more likely to become survivors themselves or perpetrators of violence in the future.

One characteristic of gender-based violence is that it knows no social or economic bounds and affects women and girls of all socio-economic backgrounds. This issue needs to be addressed in both developing and developed countries.

This issue is not only devastating for survivors of violence and their families, but also entails significant social and economic costs. Women should learn to support each other and break away from norms that encourage men to be violent

Failure to address this issue will ensure that the cycle of abuse will remain unbroken and women will continue to be passive abusers who do more harm than the perpetrator because abuse trends when there is a soft landing for the abuser.

 

Nigerian Tribune