Can you date/marry someone who doesn’t like having serious/difficult conversations?

Navigating the complexities of love and relationships often brings us face-to-face with the need for open and honest communication. The ability to have serious or difficult conversations with a partner can be an important factor in the success of a relationship. In this discussion, we will explore whether it is feasible to date or marry someone who avoids difficult conversations. Ayomipo Akano assisted in sourcing responses to this topic. Below are the responses of our contributors:

Tosin Awoniyi

I could date and marry someone who does not like having difficult conversations. This is because I am a calm and quiet person. So, I would love to date and marry someone who would not be giving me problems and having difficult conversations with me whenever we are talking or discussing with each other.

Nwosu Amarachi

I would say no, because having serious or difficult issues in a relationship is inevitable and we have to talk about it. Once these kinds of issues occur, there is the urge to want to settle it and in doing that, a serious conversation is needed between both parties. It is a no for me, except I do not want the relationship to last.

Temi Falope

It depends on the context and the reasons for avoiding difficult conversations. If someone has a valid reason for their discomfort, like past trauma, I would be understanding and supportive. But if it is a habitual avoidance, it could be a red flag.

Adejumo Joyce

I cannot date or marry anyone who doesn’t like having serious or difficult conversations. In a union, there would be issues. So, if I am in a union with someone who does not like serious or difficult conversations, how do we solve those issues? It would not help to grow the relationship. Also, if you claim to want to be with someone, you would want things to work.

Saraki Oluwakemi

No, I cannot. Relationships are not supposed to be about giving gifts, saying I love you, and so on. A relationship is something that is supposed to lead to something real — a marriage — especially when it is between a mature couple. Serious conversations on things like marriage, family, in-law-to-be, and so on are necessary. Someone who does not like serious conversations is not mature and only wants to ‘chop and go’.

Olusoga Omobolanle

It is better to date or marry your type — difficult conversations or not. Love affairs or life has gone beyond trampling on someone’s easy life. If he or she is not making you happy, please bow out.

Oyenike Adesina

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. If my partner avoids difficult conversations, it would eventually lead to misunderstandings and unaddressed issues, which can create resentment over time. So, I cannot marry someone who avoids such conversations because it might lead to a buildup of a lot of anger.

Elsie Joseph

I would consider dating or marrying someone who struggles with difficult conversations if they are willing to work on their communication skills and grow in this aspect. Relationships can evolve, and open dialogue is something that could be improved over time.

Ugie Oyamenda

I cannot. Life is not easy all the time. Relationships and marriages are bound to experience difficulties, and such matters should be discussed between couples to find solutions. If I cannot discuss these difficult circumstances with such a person, how could we tackle difficulties in the relationship? So, it is a NO for me.

Laide Oyebisi

I do not have a definite answer to this because my partner might not be someone who takes things to heart as such — hence, might avoid difficult conversations in that aspect. However, there are times when I want to have difficult conversations, but then, it is his nature. I recently came across a tweet where a woman was talking about how her man avoids difficult conversations and makes sure that he fulfils all other aspects. Sometimes, I feel like avoiding challenging discussions that hinder the development of conflict-resolution skills which are essential for any long-lasting relationship.

Kerstin Sparkles

First, the meaning of difficult conversations varies. Second, women have a 35 times higher language ability. So it does not make any sense to discuss anything ‘difficult’ with a man. Men want to avoid conversations because they like peace and tranquillity at home. So partners should not discuss it at all. Love is the answer. So, yes, I would prefer a partner who is ready for that.

Chinonso Perpetual

I cannot. There is no conversation too difficult for you to have with your partner. Vulnerability is one thing I would like to see in my relationship. If you cannot be and you are not willing to learn, forget it.

Mildred Chiko

Life itself is a bit difficult. So, why would there be somebody who would not want to have difficult conversations? Life is not a bed of roses.

Royalty Chukwu

I would be open to dating or marrying someone who avoids difficult conversations if we share a strong emotional connection and are compatible. We could work on finding alternative methods of resolving issues while respecting each other’s boundaries.

Tolulope Agbeja

Life has its ups and downs. We cannot, but sometimes, have difficult situations which would lead to difficult conversations. Be it in our businesses, jobs, homes, and so on. Avoiding such conversations is like running from one’s problems which would solve anything. That could be frustrating.

J. Ebojoh

It is a NO for me. Dating someone who does not like having difficult conversations is having someone with a lot of secrets. In other words, avoiding difficult conversations always leads to unsolved issues which may lead to a separation. So, finding the right time to discuss sensitive issues could lead to a healthy relationship.

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