Bukar Haba Ibrahim

I knew and met with Senator Bukar Abba Ibrahim while he was on sabbatical from the Government House. His Damaturu home then was a Mecca. He held court as the lord though a private citizen. Everybody knew it was a matter of time for him to return as governor. Even as an ex-gov, he enjoyed the deity worship of hangers-on. Apart from other outrageous pillaging, the story then that he uprooted Government House generating set to his personal house while the Khaki boys were hot on the heels of the sacked political office holders, did not dwindle the daily pilgrimage whenever he was in town. While men like him, including former commissioners, advisers, aides and lesser associates would crouch on his living room floor and do the tolotolo neck downward style before stuttering their patronizing message to him, the single couch I observed around that outer living room, was meant for him alone. Men of his father’s age-mate were astounded seeing young men from South, shaking hands with their god. Why did I tell so much story here? Bukar who eventually returned as governor in 1999 and now a sitting senator, is used to godlike treatment. I mean a god of a people who do not spare appeasement to him. For someone who grew into being worshipped, the current noise about having a threesome somewhere he couldn’t even remember, is understandably strange to him. Where he is coming from also accounted for his surprise at the surprise being expressed over his dalliance.

Unless you don’t want to give him his due, Bukar owns Yobe. I remember an-always angry lawyer; Baba Kura in Potiskum who carried a king-size grudge again Bukar everywhere. The fellow, one of the very few practising lawyers then in the state, wanted to change the status quo but Bukar was (guess he still is) a god. Except the worshippers are tired, it is difficult to root out a deity from its shrine. Bukar is more deft in the cajoling game of politics than his contemporaries in the state. He played both the MKO and Abacha games. He could be totally progressive this moment and annoyingly reactionary next moment. How many politicians anywhere and elsewhere will be retiring to the senate after three terms as governor and get to take his wife along as a member of the House of Representatives and from the lower chamber, graduate her to a Minister of the Federal Republic?

When you are used to getting everything and getting away with everything including contrabands, exhibits and illicit sex, what will romping with some “two girls” mean to you, even if caught pants or boxers down? What would be a big deal in freshening up after being bedded by girls with hotter blood and bedmatic gymnastics than a wife with a lorry-load of ministerial duties? What would be a bigger deal in letting steam off after long legislative hours, trying to make Nigeria great again? And why the bedlam over a sex-tape that roughened no constitutional page? He even promised to investigate how the sex-tape was leaked and likely to get the Samuel Anyanwu Ethics, Privileges and Public Petitions’ Committee of the senate, to summon suspects to testify for breaching a “Distinguished” privacy.  Such clowns.

Bukar’s argument about not breaching the constitution by sleeping with two girls, (except they are underage which isn’t likely with the antics they put up by filming him firming up) doesn’t even give any space to moralists. He’s arguably one of the most carefree politicians I have met and I must add in his favour, with no airs. He’s happy-go-lucky. No moral preachment will cut ice with him. He will still do it again, because the leaked act wasn’t his first time, for him not to even remember where he had what should be a memorable “siesta”. Those sounding horrifying can hold their peace. Threesome isn’t even memorable to Bukar. He possibly had “better” experiences. Did anyone hear anyone in the political class condemn the sex-tape? Fellow felons in the political arena will likely blame the girls for being cheap professional blackmailers. Talk of tainted brotherhood.

It could be argued that he didn’t run for Papacy but political office to better the lives of Nigerians. Well, he, alongside all fellow committers, can be said to be doing exactly what they are being paid to do. At least, the two girls and numerous others that fling themselves at the pot-bellied, money-find-road crooked leaders, ordinarily get their own “national cake” from those leaders they help relieve tension. Sex-tapes will likely surface when bargain go awry. So, what can the society do with Sharia-man Bukar and others like him who further take the female youth down the abyss of immorality. Apart from being functional prostitutes, those two girls in the tape, are also criminals. Somebody should spare us the whistle-blowing excuse bunkum. Bukar made it clear what they did together.

I don’t like comparative analysis of “were it to be in saner climes”. Yes, characters like Bukar who are caught even sexting in the US are named, shamed and disgraced out of public trust space, but the randy fellows over there haven’t stopped, maybe more discreet.

It is useless making any noise over Bukar’s sex-tape with an aim of getting him out of political influence range for a while. In fact, harassing him over it, could strengthen his hold on the fiefdom he has carved for himself. His people could interpret holding his feet to moral fire as opposition’s plot to embarrass him, even if the sex-tape is shown them. Yoruba will say “eni ta fe, kilabuku” (everything is perfect with a beloved). But for how long will Nigerians worship their licentious leaders who have caged them with religious sentiments and ethnicity card? Or better still, what are women going to do with their libidinous men, suffering heavily from Solomonic affliction? Imagine Bukar with three gorgeous wives; Hajiya (Dr) Maryam Abba Ibrahim, Hajiya Aishatu Ibrahim and Hajiya Khadijat Ibrahim, especially, the minister, Khadijat, who is a drop-dead beauty. Haba Abba.