Avoid money wahala in your relationship: Your quick guide

My dear sisters,

Good morning! It’s Friday again, and you know what that means – it’s time for our weekly money gist. Last week, we touched on protecting our wealth, and the conversation was so powerful. This week, let’s go back to the foundation: what does it even mean to be a financially independent woman in Nigeria today?

Is it just about having your own money in the bank? Is it about earning more than your man? Or is it something deeper? I believe it’s the freedom to make your own choices without being financially crippled. It’s the power to walk away from a toxic job or a bad situation. It’s the confidence that comes from knowing you can stand on your own two feet, come rain or shine.

But let’s be honest, while this power is sweet, it can make relationships a bit… complicated. So today, let’s talk about how to be a financially independent queen while navigating love, money, and relationships without tears.

The “Money Talk”: Before Things Get Serious

The biggest mistake we make is keeping quiet about money. In the beginning, everything is love and romance, and talking about finances can feel awkward. But silence now can lead to serious wahala later. You must have the money gist. Be open about your financial habits. Are you a super-saver, or do you believe in enjoying life now? What are your long-term goals? Do you want to build a house, or is your priority to ‘japa’?

Listen to his values too. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you need to understand and respect where you both stand. If his idea of a good time is popping bottles every weekend and yours is investing in real estate, you need to find a middle ground before you get in too deep.

ALSO READ: Tinubu not pressuring me to do wrong thing — NNPC’s Ojulari

Merging Money Without Losing Your Mind

So, things are serious, and you’re thinking of combining finances. The fear is real! How do you merge without your own identity getting lost? Here’s a simple strategy that works:

*Keep Your Own Account: My sister, this is non-negotiable. Your personal account is your power bank, your identity, your sanity fund. It’s for your personal projects, your investments, and your peace of mind.

*Open a Joint Account: This is for the “we” expenses. Think of it as the family pot. This is where you both contribute an agreed-upon amount for rent, NEPA bills, school fees, and “chop money.” It keeps things transparent and fair.

*Define Roles: Decide who does what. Maybe you’re the better budgeter, so you manage the joint account. Maybe he’s a great negotiator, so he handles big purchases. Play to your strengths. It’s a partnership, not a competition.

Planning for “For Better or For Worse”

Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it’s also a financial and legal partnership. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: prenups. I know, I know, it sounds like some oyinbo concept and can feel like you’re planning for divorce. But think of it this way: if you start a business with someone, you sign a partnership agreement, right?

A pre-nup is simply a clear agreement about assets, especially if you have your own business or significant investments before marriage. It’s about clarity, not mistrust.

And God forbid there’s a divorce, having a plan ensures things are handled fairly, without years of court battles and bitterness.

The Golden Rule: Never, Ever Lose Yourself

Listen to me and listen good: your relationship is not a retirement plan. His money is not your emergency fund. Always, always maintain your financial independence. Have a separate emergency fund that no one touches—your “Peace of Mind” fund. Continue to invest in your career, your business, and your skills. You are your greatest asset.

Being a financially independent woman doesn’t make you difficult; it makes you a powerful partner. It’s not about who makes more; it’s about building a secure future together, with open communication, mutual respect, and a whole lot of wisdom.

Next week, we’ll look at the signs that show you’re on the right track to achieving true financial independence. Stay empowered!