Achieving sexual pleasure in your marriage (ii)

WHEN I got married my husband and I did not know any skill at all. All that we knew was just to lie on top of each other, and then do whatever ought to be done.  To me in particular, sex was something every married couple must engage in whether they want it or not. The truth is, I wasn’t even told that I was meant to enjoy it anyway. So, I just made myself available for it, as much as possible, in order to fulfill my marital responsibility.  And when I can, I just put up excuses to evade it. But we then discovered that there is more to this thing called sex than we knew. We discovered it was an act that must be learnt and mastered, if sex is to be what the Creator intended. Skills must be acquired for sex to give satisfaction. Of course, children were coming through whatever we were having as sex, and the joy of having those children fill in the gap for sexual pleasure. But, it could only last for awhile, after which, we became dissatisfied.

At this juncture, I must say that there is more to having sex with your spouse than having children. To the glory of God, I had my last baby almost fifteen years ago, and today, my two children are out of our home, most of the time in school, and the two of us are home alone. So, if sex is just for pro-creation, I wonder what the two of us will be doing now. And, if sex is still to me that thing that must be endured, I will by now be facing a lot of frustration.

• My wife lacks understanding, fights me always —Husband

Skills for sexual pleasure or satisfaction includes some of the following to mention:

1. Understanding the most important sex organs of a man and a woman. For a woman, it is the mind, while for the man it is the penis. These two must be worked upon and maintained if they will produce maximum satisfaction for the couple.
2. Every man must know what gives his woman maximum sexual pleasure. It is not just enough to rise and sink inside her; you must know the way to strike for the best effect. This comes from reading generally about the female?s sexual body composition and personally studying how your wife respond to each of the several things you do to her during sex. This must not be left to the men alone, women also must do the same. Body exploration for male and female must be learnt if the necessary satisfaction will be derived.
3. Get to try out different sex positions with your spouse to find out which one(s) that will give sexual satisfaction to the both of you.
4. Add romance to your day-to-day activity. Many men only remember they have a wife when they want sex. Romance must be part and parcel of your marriage. Do things you used to do before you got married: say nice things to each other, tickle each other, play with each other, so for a walk together from time to time, send love messages to each other, buy gifts for each other (not necessarily expensive things) etc. These are some of the things to acquire if sexual pleasure will be within your reach as married couple.

In response to my readers’ request, I have packaged some of my previous articles into a book with the title: ENJOYING GREAT SEXLIFE. You can call me on 08112658560 for the book.