How did you feel when your husband was appointed the head of the Muslim community in the South West, Edo and Delta States?
At first, when he told me about the news that he has been appointed as the new Aare Musulumi, I was scared but I didn’t have any other choice than to support him. I believe that in every situation one finds oneself one has to learn to cope with it. A lot of people come to see him for one thing or the other and as his wife, I have to accommodate them and make them feel at home. Though I am a shy person by nature but now, I have learnt to relate with people that I have never seen before. Allah has been helping me to cope with my new role. When people come in, I have to welcome them and make sure that they have something to eat and drink.
What do you do for a living?
I am one of the directors in my husband’s company; the D-Damak Group of Companies. We are into automobiles; we sell cars, motorcycles, generators and so on. I assist my husband to oversee the affairs of the companies.
How do you combine that with the home front?
It has not been easy but a woman that loves her husband will always support him in one way or the other. I make sure I set my priorities right and I also plan my time well so that my going to work will not affect the family. Sometimes, I have to leave my family and go to Lagos to oversee some things; maybe the off-loading of our containers or to go to the warehouse. When I have to travel, my husband makes sure that he is at home so that he can oversee domestic affairs in my absence. Both of us don’t usually travel together but whenever we have to travel together, the children always go with us. Though we have house helps but I believe it is good for parents to look after their offspring themselves. When I am not around, the driver will go and pick them from school. When they get home, they will do private lesson and Arabic lesson and by the time the teacher is through, their dad will be at home. They usually sleep in their dad’s room when I am not around. Parents should not leave the care and nurture of their children to the maid; they must be involved in training their children. This will help to curb abuse of children by house helps. If I want to go to the office or the factory at weekends, I will have to take the children along with me. That is how I juggle the home front with running the business. When I am at work, I devote my attention to work and when I am at home, I give undivided attention to the children. I believe a woman can have a home and a career without one adversely affecting the other.
As the wife of the leader of the Muslims community in the South West, how do you think we can bring up godly children in this day and age?
Parents must ensure they inculcate godly principles in their children. When it is time to pray, wake them up to pray. They may not want to do this but parents must learn to put their feet down. If you are a Muslim give them the analysis of the daily prayers (which are observed five times daily), write it out and paste it on the wall. I let my children know that even when I am not around, they must not miss their daily prayers. I also encourage them to pray for their dad and I. I always tell them that if daddy does not make money, they won’t be able to travel abroad and that always encourage them to pray for him. As parents, we have to pray with them too. When they see you pray regularly, they won’t find it difficult to pray as well. We also make them to understand that our religion is not in support of certain behaviours and things. For instance, when we went to a friend’s house abroad, they loved her dog and wanted us to get one too but I told them that it is not acceptable in Islam. They didn’t like that but they had to accept it.
You have been married for some years now. What has kept your marriage together?
It is good for married women to have a lot of patience because it is not easy to be a wife and mother. Sometimes, our husbands are stressed up and when we try to strike a conversation with them, they will just flare up and say things that they shouldn’t have said. Try to be understanding, apologise and tell him we can talk about it later. A woman should try to be a good wife and mother.
Nobody knows a man as well as his wife. What kind of a man is the Aare Musulimi?
My husband is a very generous man. He loves to assist people, especially the less privileged. I personally have learnt a lot of lessons from him. I learnt how to give from him. He believes that even if you don’t have, you should give. Even if he doesn’t have cash, he will call his filling station and tell them to bring money and he will use it to help the needy. It is later that he will now refund the money and God has been helping him. He is also very hardworking man. He doesn’t rest. He is also someone who pays attention to details.
What is the secret of your radiant look?
It is Almighty Allah and the support of my darling husband.
What advice do you have for women?
Women should be focused and prayerful. Whatever they do, they should make sure they do it to the best of their abilities. They should also love and care for their families.
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