Wives still struggle with making sexual advances in marriage

One thing that is being advocated these days for marital stability is regular sex. This becomes more interesting due to the health angle attached to regular sex: it makes for better health for a couple. This is looked at from the angle of two cancerous situations of prostate and breast, in relation to the husband and wife, respectively. While many women suffer from breast cancer, its counterpart ailment for men is prostate cancer.

Interestingly, both have now come to be linked to the irregular sex lives of men and women. That is, husbands and wives, to be precise, in the light of our focus in this column. The status today is that if the issues of breast cancer and prostate cancer are to be dealt with deftly, regular sex must be given the topmost priority in marriage.

So, efforts are on the increase as to how to get married couples to have sex regularly, since it’s almost too obvious that irregular sex has become the order of the day in many marriages.

One hindrance to regular sex in marriage is that many wives are not keen to request sex from their husbands. They would rather suffer in silence than make the first move for sex. This is despite the fact that they do even when they are horny. And the amazing thing is that once in the act, though without requesting it, they put up an unbelievable performance that can pass for maximum enjoyment for them.

I think it’s one reason women are called pretenders in the matter of sex. They act as if they don’t want it, and once in the act, it’s a different ball game altogether, with an unusual display of passion. I don’t want to touch ringtones in the bedroom today.

The truth about sex is that wives still struggle with making the first move. Though they want sex, they rarely make advances for it with their husbands. I know more wives are finding a way around it, such are in the minority. Generally, wives shy away from making sexual advances in marriage. Even those who engage in sex talk among them also struggle with making sexual advances as well.

What are sexual advances?

This has to do with ways of communicating sexual desire in marriage. There are various ways of doing this, and some of them are

*Wearing of sexy dresses in the house, or in the bedroom, as the case may be. Even dressing well for outings provokes husbands to look like their wives, with the thought of “she is attractive and beautiful.” I can’t wait to have her. Haven’t you heard of husbands who double-crossed their wives after dressing up for outings? They couldn’t resist the temptation in their wives’ outfits.

*Sex talk. Just saying something sexy to him sets the tone for a need to have sex.

*Nude postures in bed are a good signal that the wife is horny and ready for a great match. Even if there is a sitting posture on the sofa, the husband will not miss the sex message in it.

*Watching love movies in the house can set the tone for a night of great sex.

*Sexual touches make room for sex to happen. Wives who have learned to touch their husbands sexually know that regular sex will always be around the corner.

*Direct sexual assault on your husband will create an exciting scene and signal for sex, on the spur of the moment. Just say it as it is. After all, it’s all yours. Verbalising it like “let’s make love tonight” will turn the sex machine in the husband loose, any time, any day.

But what ails the wives that they struggle with making sexual advances in marriage?

*Fear of being turned down. Human beings don’t like being rejected. It dampens one’s spirit. Some wives confided in counsellors that they once asked their husbands for sex, but were turned down. Since then, it’s over with making the first move. They would rather suffer in silence than go through that route again.

*Fear of being tagged a sex maniac. Some wives have been bad-mouthed simply because they show this desire for sex more than their husbands. How do you expect such to make sexual advances towards their husbands? It’s a dilemma for them.

*Fear of being taken for a ride. The husbands are putting up the attitude of “She will soon ask for it when I close up. Every wife wants to be chased for sex. It’s a signal that she is still attractively hot with the husband and still ‘in the market’.”

*Staying in the traditional mode of ‘it’s wrong to make the move’. Traditionally, females are trained not to make the first move towards a man, either for marriage or for sex. The undertone belief is that doing so makes her look cheap and easy to get. That mentality, coupled with religious beliefs, is hindering wives from making the first move for sex.

All the above make wives keep struggling with making sexual advances in the marriage.

However, my take on this is that nothing should make a wife struggle with making sexual advances towards her husband. They belong to each other and are meant for themselves. It’s a risk that is worth taking. As a matter of fact, it’s too risky not to take such a risk in the marriage. It’s a breeding ground for infidelity. If you know what to do and how to ask for money, asking for sex should be as simple as ABC.

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For me, the greatest motivation for asking for sex is being horny. On a horny day, women will stop at nothing to leak honey anywhere, anyhow. Many have been caught off guard by infidelity simply because they were horny on a day the wrong person showed up around them.

So, let the horny days motivate wives to call the shots for sex with their husbands.

My books, ‘Enjoying Great Sex Life’ and ‘How to Help Your Wife Enjoy Sex’, are still available for sale. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only, please.