Will Umahi go the way of Gallego, Khan?

THIS Friday, July 24, the 125 member states of the International Criminal Court (ICC), at The Hague, Netherlands, will determine the fate of the scandal-ridden chief prosecutor of the court, Karim Khan. Multiple women have come out to level sexual misconduct allegations against him, and the once-celebrated but always controversial half-Pakistani, half-Briton who is already on suspension, looks to be on his way out of the plum and plush job permanently. What a sad ending to a storied career as an advocate for the oppressed.

When a man is literally or metaphorically felled by the “forbidden fruit”, my people will joke-mourn with “ibi tó gbà wá ló gbà lọ” (he went the same way he came; meaning through a woman’s anatomy).

Whenever men fall to untempered phalli, I usually pity fellow men among the regular motley crowd of digital mockers. It always reminds me of a Yoruba saying, “teni tó dé lórí…” (the fuller version means it could be just anybody). Let no one boast of some funny self-discipline. Whoever has a strap on his sexual desire, it’s pure grace. Respected clergyman, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, once said, “Don’t ask me what I will do if locked in a room with a naked woman. I would rather not be there in the first place”. Even God recognises the futility of trying to stay and fight lust. He advises His children to flee (1 Corinthians 6:18). We are not to linger or test boundaries. The immediate action should be a total exit from the tempting situation.

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You would expect Adam to be mourning his disgraceful expulsion from Eden; a thud from grace, with a din.

But what did the progenitor of men do?

He immediately “knew” his wife. The moment it dawned on him that there was a semblance of an upside, some kind of permitted benefit, to disobey God, he grabbed it. Someone that should have isolated himself, pleading for mercy and divine leniency; but the pull of sex has always been irresistible for mankind, since creation.

Sex, whether lawful or not, consumes, yet men can’t seem to have enough of it. It burns, yet men keep romanticising its scorching flames. King Solomon, with his unmatched divinely bestowed wisdom, confesses in Proverbs 30:18-19 to a quartet of confounding phenomena. One is the way of an eagle in the sky (the mystery of flight). Two, the way of a serpent on a rock (movement without feet). Three, the way of a ship at sea (navigation), and finally the fourth, the way of a man with a maiden (the psychological and emotional intricacies of sexual pull).

In Kunle Afolayan’s blockbuster movie, October 1, the Ifa priest, acted by Baba Elebuibon, divined that the assailant, who was raping and murdering maidens in the beleaguered town, was wont to kill more because his mind was already altered. The culprit turned out to be royalty; the heir apparent; Ivy League-trained, with all-sophisticated appearance and mannerism but deranged within. In another sex criminal’s story, he was a victim. The white missionary in the city who was supposed to “clean up” (culturally, religiously, educationally and sociologically) the assumed crude village black boy, ended up damaging him beyond measure by subjecting him to years-long non-consensual sodomy. The young prince returned, seeking revenge. He wanted society to pay for his unheard nightly agonising cries and unheeded pleas for deliverance at the hands of his monster-master. Maidens in the town must pay and he was cruelly getting them to, until he ran out of luck and ended with what the Yoruba will describe as Palaba’s hands eventually falling short. The denouement provided relieving closure for viewers; he was made to pay.

Sexual misconduct, like assault, rape and harassment, is a crime worldwide, and the Western world, despite its hypocrisy towards God’s standard in sexual matters, at least, has been making those caught pay, irrespective of gender. The application of justice for victims, in fairness to those running those societies, has also been borderless. Whether you are a prince or a peasant, male or female, politician or Hollywood big shot, Republican or Democrat, you are likely toast once your cat is out of the bag. And the time of commission is almost irrelevant. You pay when caught! Especially for American politicians, justice has been framed in a way that 20-year-old pounded yam will still scald sex offenders’ hands.

On both sides of the aisle on the Capitol, rising Blue (Democratic) and Red (Republican) stars have been suddenly dimmed by inappropriate sexual behaviours of the past. Eric Swalwell, a truculent Trump foe, was practically strolling to the Democratic Party’s ticket for the almost-certain coronation as the governor of America’s most-populated state, California, before the past showed up to derail not only his tomorrow but even his today. Apart from having to drop out of the race that several pollsters gave him the all-clear to win, he also had to resign from Congress as a member of the House of Representatives earlier in the year, ending a glorious political run ignominiously.

Quitting Congress, like those caught in the web of sex scandals before him, was not about being remorseful. If he didn’t, his colleagues, including fellow Democrats, would have voted to dismiss him from their midst. Resigning was the least disgraceful exit.

Graham Platner thought he had a leg already in the American Senate, representing Maine, before his shameful sexual past caught up with him weeks back. He was forced to leave the race (after winning the ticket) when prominent Democratic backers began pulling their support.

A sitting senator, also of Team Blue, Ruben Gallego, also seems to be on his way out of the highest lawmaking body. His crime; sex.

While the accountability standard over there is commendable, I find it bemusing that the same political environment is welcoming of almost everything God labels as unholy in the name of freedom. Sounds like the hypocrisy Jesus warns about in Matthew 7. But the efforts at sanitising and bringing offenders to book over there must still be commended. The Yoruba will ask what should happen to the one who didn’t cook at all if ghouls are being encouraged to kill the one with tasteless soup.

In Nigeria, suspects still pay for sexual misconduct, but not when they are political royalty. When you think of Khan, you are looking at someone of the Attorney General of the Federation’s stature, were the ICC to be a country. Now, imagine the current occupant of the office, Prince Lateef Fagbemi (please note he is a gentleman with no noticeable scandals and the reference here is to find the appropriate domestic balance in describing the massive influence of Khan in global politics), pawing a subordinate (like one of the numerous inappropriate intimacy approaches by Khan).

Of course, it would take a lot for the victim to come out and accuse the Chief Law Officer of the country of sexual misconduct, knowing the expansive influence of the office over major institutions of the central government. Even family members would want to quieten her. The husband would have to be really gutsy (and he can’t be a government contractor or civil servant) to put up a fight if the victim is married. Men of power in Nigeria are hardly accountable and the fear of what they can do with the power they wield has imposed a frightening culture of silence on practically everyone.

That appears to be what is playing out in the current scandal mocking the public service record of Minister of Works, Dave Umahi, former governor, former senator, former deputy governor. No doubt, he is a big player in the Nigerian political system and, except for just hating, you can’t dismiss his influence, leverage and capacity to inflict substantial damage if a lesser mortal engages in a war of attrition with him. He is the kind that can boast that he has money, charm and covering clothes. That is describing the one who has all it takes to fight and win.

Of course, the minister is fighting, but not with the family of the young lady, Mary Habila, who questionably died on his private property, serving as his country home in Uburu, his birthplace. Left to the family, they would leave it to God as a fatalistic end to a young, bubbly life. But social media, the common man’s ombudsman and dependable ally, won’t let go until the gaping holes in the minister’s stories of her death are filled with the assumed truths. The Yoruba will hand befuddling matters to the Omnipresent with “ibi ti eniyan ko si, Olorun wa nibe” (God sees all hidden from men). It’s to push narratives of innocence and acquittal.

At this point, it is difficult to either exonerate the minister or declare him guilty as charged by social media and Sahara Reporters, to a great extent. But my people will say, you don’t accuse the one without a record that he has started again. And the one with maggot-ridden guts should avoid public display of the same.

Asking him to resign from office over the corpse in his backyard is a waste of time. It won’t happen; at least, not under this administration because there have been no precedents and even his own will ask, ‘Why should it start with him?’ And Minister David (his original name, abbreviated to Dave) is a king in this administration. But the president can kick-start a new scrutiny culture in public service under his leadership. Asking Umahi to step aside pending the full resolution of the circumstances leading to the tragic passing of the young lady (her relationship with the minister is immaterial, regardless of people’s suspicion), is just the decent thing to do but such calls have always been ignored by the country’s leader when it comes to scandalous subordinates close to his heart.

To the Minister, if he’s innocent, God will lay the exonerating truths bare for the world to see. If he’s not and is trying to hide his guilt, he’s Christian enough to know what Jesus says about all that is hidden being made known.