Speaking the romance language in marriage

One weak point of marriage in this part of the world is the lack of romance. To most married people, the language of romance is so foreign that it’s hardly spoken. Or when spoken by one partner, the other one misrepresents or misunderstands it.

A romantic marriage is one that won’t lack sex. Rather, it’s the breeding ground for good sex in marriage. It makes sex real, exciting, spontaneous and non-regimented. Couples should therefore cultivate the habit of romance in the marriage, which is the focus of this edited write-up I got from one of the social media platforms I explore. It provides some romantic tips that are helpful to married couples who may be willing to learn the language of romance.

The story goes thus:

I would love to tickle my wife while she’s doing house chores. I would love to hear her say “Abeg, leave me jare,” in a romantic tone, while I’m putting my lips on her neck.

Can my wife and I play like nursery school pupils? Can she jump on me while lying on the bed to whisper into my ears, even if the matter were something meaningful?

Can I do a “pillow fight” with her in the bedroom? Married folks should be free with each other enough as to chase one another about in the living room.

I was once in a female teacher’s house while I was a boy. Her police husband arrived home. They exchanged greetings. Later, while the woman was teaching me Maths, her husband threatened to give her an injection. The man took a pen and gave a short chase. The woman giggled while she ran back and forth.

She said, “Where did you even get your injection?”

She came to me to continue the lesson.

In my very young boy’s heart, I wondered, “How sweet marriage is.”

When the only meaning of “romance” in marriage is “sex”, that’s crap to me. When the only time one gets romance in marriage is before, during, and after sex, that’s not “good enough for the marriage.”

Everything isn’t sex. Let her put her head on your chest and gist you about some challenges at work. Discuss your itinerary as a couple while losing her hair.

Tell each other how it is that one of you is finer than the other and laugh about it. Let the wife pick her husband’s legs, nose, or fingers and deride him for it. Both of you should be able to laugh freely at yourselves over “his long nose”, “her thin legs”, or “pot belly.”

Whoever says marriage shouldn’t be run like friendship has no understanding of what marriage is all about. Must everything be formal and official? Absolutely not. When the only time the man and wife talk intimately is only when there’s a serious issue, that’s marital crap. It makes the relationship boring and tiring.

Some never hear of what happened to their spouse until a third party discusses it. That’s not healthy for a marriage. That’s why the 60-year-old wife leaves her 75-year-old husband later in life, and forgets herself with her granddaughter.

Some have become a nuisance to their son/daughter-in-law. The other side is why the 60-year-old wife tells her married daughter, “Please, I’ve played with your baby enough. I miss my husband.”

Romance is important in marriage. Sex isn’t for making babies alone. Can’t we sing into each other’s ears? But I’m just tired of this so-called African tradition. Everything is too formal. Spice up your marriage with romantic acts, and watch your life rejuvenate.

Can’t the husband act like he’s still trying to “toast” his wife even in marriage? Can’t the wife just loosen up and not be too “cranky?”

My husband, during the last Valentine’s Day, played the song ‘Nothing is gonna change my love for you,, and it was a great wow for me. Of course, he got handsomely rewarded for it. That’s what acts of romance do in a marriage.

It’s therefore important not to relegate romance to the background in your marriage. Lack of it may be the culprit in a boring sex life in marriage. Let us prioritise romance in the marriage, and watch the marriage blossom, rather be enduring it, calling it a necessary evil.

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