GENDER MATTERS

Danger of toxic relationships

Continue from last week

VICTIMS of toxic relationships live a life of emotional insecurity with diverse extreme emotions that include fear, feeling of low self-worth, helplessness, anxiety, depression, paranoia and lack of confidence.

Toxic relationships do not only affect human attitude; they are also dangerous to health as they first affect the mental and emotional health before translating to the physical realm, and the end result is silent and gradual death in various forms.

The emotional stress and tension in relationships that are toxic reduces lifespan gradually. Life is not meant to be a continuous endurance trek; no one was created to live in a pitch of anxiety, arguments, emotional imbalance or dreadful fights that are associated with toxic relationships.

All aspects of toxicity are alien to peaceful living, development, growth and achieving laudable goals. It is difficult for a woman whose relationship is all about tearing each other to shreds emotionally, verbally or physically to live a balanced life. Toxicity brings out animalistic tendencies that do not augur well with human reasoning and existence.

Toxic relationships in their various forms are the bedrock of a mental health that is not sound. It is the basic cause of breakdowns in families and other intimate alliances as it often compromises health and family stability by eroding tolerance and affection especially in romantic relationships, friendships, business relationships and even among family members.

To maintain good mental health and a healthy lifestyle, every human should move away from toxic relationships. This is, however, not an easy feat because ditching a toxic relationship is one of the most difficult things to do for a victim whose emotion is already fragile.

If you live with violence, anger eruptions, emotional blackmail, manipulation and negative vibes, disrespectful language or assault, it is time to look inwards and determine if these experiences have effect on how you live and relate. At a point, every victim of toxicity becomes aware that tolerating such may well end their lives but in order to preserve their health and live a peaceful life devoid of drama, there are decisions that are difficult to make and steps that are painful to take because no matter how toxic an emotional relationship is, cutting off is a difficult process that comes with deep hurt.

How can one avoid toxic relationships? It is all about you; what you want, what you are willing to take and what you can live with. There is a need for every individual to understand what makes her tick, what hurts her and what she can easily cope with without having bad feelings, then set boundaries. Every individual must learn to respect and appreciate themselves. Draw the line on how you want to be treated and avoid people that constantly cross that line to dump emotional garbage and unnecessary drama that leads to turmoil.

It is important to have a set system of conflicts reconciliation so that issues will not fester and cause animosity. Every relationship has conflict so you must know how people, especially your partners, resolve conflicts so that you can have a conflict management process that works for the two of you. If their style of conflict resolution doesn’t work for you, because it doesn’t offer resolution and is usually toxic enough to leave you with mental, psychological and emotional burden. Avoid close relationships with such people, so you don’t hurt each other.

As an individual, you must have a code that guides you through life. You must identify what works for you and your core values and beliefs which must align with that of your partner. There must be a common ground to limit crisis.

Relate more with people who understand individual difference and will respect boundaries and beliefs. Above all, you must learn to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you and give the same courtesy to others. Only engage in relationships that are healthy; that give honour and do not trample on your self-esteem. To enjoy a beautiful and fulfilled life rather than a life of endurance and pain, avoid toxicity in every area of your life. Seek help or get out before it is too late.

Life needs to be enjoyed

 

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