Self control (II)

CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK

Last time we began talking about self control. “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Proverbs 25.28

One critical tool to operating in freedom is self control. If we do not have self control, we will be slaves to what controls us whether it be pride, food, lust, money etc.  Self control is the ability to control our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

To be self control will take commitment, consistency and discipline.

“So much of success and achieving goals is built on good habits, and good habits are often built on discipline, self-control, and the elimination of bad habits. But improving self-control and building good habits is much easier said than done, and it takes a lot of physical and mental discipline to better yourself. Here are five ways to help improve self-control and build good habits:

We are not wired to consistently resist temptation, a study found that the way most people resist temptation is to remove the temptation. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, “training self-control through repeated practice does not result in generalized improvements in self-control.” So you can stop beating yourself up for not having much self-control, we’re not wired for it. So if people are not wired to have self-control, how do disciplined people exist? They remove temptation, creating effortless self-control. Instead of struggling to resist temptation, remove the temptation. Set yourself up for success by managing yourself and your surroundings by removing temptations. It helps to make decisions automatic and self-reinforcing, so you can focus on priorities and decisions that matter more.” Frances Bridges

We must, however take self control to the extreme.

“It’s important to understand that self-control doesn’t mean self-repression.

It’s easy to think of self-control as something similar to having a tight grip on yourself (big boys and girls don’t cry after all), but that isn’t the real thing. Self-control only really comes from understanding, it’s about understanding yourself at the deepest possible levels – only then can you achieve true mastery over yourself.

For example, self-control isn’t about stifling your genuine emotions, if you’re grieving a loss, for instance, it doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings.

This idea of self-control comes from parents and teachers telling us not to cry or to behave ourselves but translated into adulthood, this pattern of repressing our emotions sets us up for disease or for the repressed emotions to be released destructively.

Self-control is all about self-understanding, and by doing that we can use our emotions to propel us upwards, instead of seeing that part of ourselves as a problem to be solved.” Thomas Smith

“Self-control is listed in the Bible as one of the Fruits of the Spirit – a sign that Christ is in us.

to be continued

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