For wives: Tips for living successfully with in-laws 

One of the things some women dread in marriage is having to live together with their in-laws.  

The reason for this fear is not farfetched since there have been assumptions and misconceptions about in-laws, mothers-in-law especially, and different scenarios where in-laws made the home miserable for their wives.    

Living with in-laws has some advantages if certain measures are put in place. But it can be your worst nightmare if things do not go as planned.   

I will like to look at the bright side of co-living with in-laws and that is the reason I will be discussing certain tips to help you successfully live with your in-laws either temporarily or permanently without conflicts.   

1. Set respectful boundaries  

As much as you want to show yourself as a good wife, it is also important that you put boundaries in place. Setting boundaries helps you inform your in-laws of your deal breakers and things you will never condone in your home.  

Without setting proper boundaries from day one, you are voluntarily giving your in-laws or any other relative staying with you unlimited access to yourself. Do not accept behaviours or attitudes that you will find hard to condone later.  

Boundaries help in keeping a healthy distance from one another. Without having them, you will not only have your own peace ruined but it can also affect the respect you have for these family members.  

2. Don’t try to be ‘Miss Perfect’  

One of the biggest mistakes new brides or even experienced daughters-in-law commit is to push themselves too hard towards perfection in front of in-laws.  

Understand that no one is perfect and you should never trick yourself into believing that you can become ‘Miss Perfect’ to your in-laws.  

You are in your home, so, be your true self. Pretending to be who you are not in a bid to please your in-laws will only land you trouble.  

Stay the way you are as a person. This way your in-laws will learn to accept your true identity. If you do otherwise, you will end up being drained physically, mentally and emotionally.   

3. Avoid doing all the chores alone   

As much as you can, resist the urge to do all the chores alone. Having more people staying in your home means more chores and responsibilities to be carried out. Don’t turn yourself into a machine or a house help in your own home, learn to ask for help.  

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help with the house chores or other responsibilities in the home, so far it is done respectfully. And doing this is also a great way of getting your in-laws involved in the home.  

It is better you do this so you don’t end up exhausted and eventually break down as a result of overworking and lack of rest.  

4. Be on the same page with your spouse  

Regardless of the presence of any relative in your home, you shouldn’t allow this to deprive you of your privacy with your spouse.  

Create alone time for yourselves where you are able to catch up on your daily activities and spend quality time together.  

It is also important that you ensure that you and your spouse are on the same page with regard to issues in the home.   

Let there be an agreement and consensus between you both such that your responses and decisions in the home are in unison. This passes a great signal to your in-laws since they know that whatever your response to them is on a matter is the same response they will get from your spouse.   

5. Respect them always  

To have a peaceful co-existence with your in-laws, you need to accord them the respect they deserve. According to a Yoruba saying, there is no small in-law, so, whether you are older or younger than your in-laws, you still have to respect them.  

Maintaining respect at all times will help you in maintaining a more cordial relationship. The more respectful you are as a person; the more respect you will earn in return.  

Now, it is important you know that  being respectful does not mean being subjugated.   

Being respectful means staying polite and valuing others around you. Respectful behaviour leads to a happier home.  

6. Stay clear of family arguments  

One thing you should never do when you have your in-laws around is to get involved in their family arguments. Don’t even try it.   

In instances where your spouse gets into an argument with his family, the best thing to do is either keep quiet or just leave the scene. As much as you want to feel like a part of that family, it is wise to stay clear of all family arguments.   

Don’t get involved.  

Here are tips to help resolve family disagreements   

In-laws are a great blessing to any home if you deal with them wisely and follow the tips above. Be open-minded with your in-laws and make your home a habitable place for them to stay pending their time with you.  

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