As water is vital to the health of a plant so are boundaries to a relationship. The presence or absence of boundaries shows to a great degree the health of a relationship.
According to the popular saying, when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable. The purpose, in this case, is your overall well-being in a relationship.
In order for you not to be abused in a relationship, you need to set appropriate boundaries.
Boundaries refer to limits that you put in place to protect your well-being.
It is important that boundaries are set early in a relationship because they help keep your relationship strong, and healthy and also help your partner understand you better.
In a bid to help make your relationship a healthy one, here are five boundaries to set.
1. Physical Boundaries
The first boundary you should set as a guy or lady in a relationship is a physical boundary.
Physical boundaries protect your space and body, your right to be or not to be touched, to have privacy, and to meet your physical needs such as resting or eating.
When you set a physical boundary in your relationship, your partner is able to know how close they can get to you, what kind of physical touch (if any) is okay, how much privacy you need, and how to behave in your personal space.
A physical boundary clearly defines that your body and personal space belong to you.
2. Emotional Boundaries
Emotions are a vital ingredient in any relationship. It is important that the next boundary you set in your relationship is an emotional boundary. This is because untamed emotions can lead to undesirable situations in a relationship, especially a romantic one.
Emotional boundaries protect your right to have your own feelings and thoughts, to not have your feelings criticized or invalidated in your relationship, and to not have to take care of your partner’s feelings while neglecting yours.
Emotional boundaries help you differentiate your feelings from your partner’s. It also allows you to create emotional safety by respecting each other’s feelings.
3. Sexual Boundaries
As an individual in a relationship, it is important you establish boundaries around sex early in your relationship in order to avoid unnecessary drama, manipulation, and “stories that touch the heart.”
Sexual boundaries refer to your expectations around physical intimacy. They define what kind of sexual touch and intimacy you want, how often, when, where, and with whom.
Healthy sexual boundaries include mutual agreement, mutual consent, and an understanding of each other’s sexual limits and desires.
The importance of this boundary cannot be overemphasized, especially for individuals who have been sexually assaulted in previous relationships.
Establishing a boundary around sex helps in achieving a healthy and happy relationship.
4. Financial Boundaries
Money is said to be the root of all evil. Financial boundaries encompass all that has to do with the money in your relationship.
You need to make your opinions and decisions known to your partner with regard to money matters. For instance, do you agree to a joint bank account or not? Do you think it’s right to have a savings plan together? Do you feel comfortable disclosing your earnings to each other or it be private?
If you and your partner don’t have discussions and agreements around your finances, then your relationship is likely to experience serious problems as money is a very sensitive matter in a relationship.
5. Time Boundaries
Your life is not meant to revolve around your partner because you are in a relationship and your partner should definitely not be the controller of your time and how you live your life.
When you’re in a relationship, you need to set time boundaries. This shows to a great extent that you value your time and will not be a part of activities that can make you unproductive in the long run.
You need to let your partner know the time they can have access to you, your alone time, work hours, and family time. When this is put in place, you are able to eliminate issues that may arise from a lack of it.
As a bonus, you also need to have “deal breakers” in your relationship. Deal breakers are things you can never take or cope with in a relationship. To some individuals, it may be cheating, lying, violence, infidelity, substance abuse and so on.
In all, you deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship and you should do your best to ensure this.
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