Caveat Emptor

If President Muhammadu Buhari were to be constitutionally-qualified to be on 2023 ballot, he would still win a huge majority in core North, lose with noticeable margin in a part of the North Central, lose heavily in the South-East, lose marginally in the South West and drop a chunk of votes in the South-South. Overall, without militarised rigging and INEC server abracadabra, even with vote buying, he is likely to lose another national election, I must add, to a northerner with clout and a southerner with buje budanu (live and let live) mentality. But Bubu is now beyond direct electoral reproach. The damaged Sai Baba brand is about to be retired.

I’m not here to mourn the tragedy Nigerians brought upon themselves. Enough of buyer’s remorse. It is time to warn buyers again. Those who rate themselves as shopping experts, aren’t against window-shopping, but will always advice two lists; a wish-list and actual buying-list.

I believe the 2023 poll, somehow, would be, despite the obvious coordinated attacks on INEC facility, to, without doubt, derail the exercise. I guess the arsonists miscalculated. They showed their hands too early. They are baby terrorists, gripped by anti-Nigeria paroxysm. You don’t destroy the little you have because you are not given more. The sense in protesting not getting more, is to first safe-keep the little you have, before throwing off your apparel for earned ija’gboro (free-for-all), to force those holding the commonwealth in trust, to thrust their hands, more in the direction of the people, instead of the sustained kinetic movement of their hands only to their mouth and pockets. How much can a man steal, to eat!

If your money, directly or indirectly, will still go into fixing what you are destroying, why such wasteful dispense of justified anger? Gradually, students are beginning to shed the emi aluta (protest spirit) that always wants to have the senate building burnt down, because now they know, their parents, will pay fully for its reconstruction and allowances to school will suffer.

What am I saying? Is the political-cum-economic leadership annoying? Absolutely. Is it justified to be angry with the mess being splashed around by incompetent leadership? Very well. Yoruba will say omo ale lo rinu ti o ki nbi (only a bastard won’t react to provocation). But Paul in Ephesians 4:26 has an antidote to recklessness; “be angry but do not sin…and do not make room for the devil”. Nothing would justify arsonists, seeking to take public institution down. Soldier go, soldier come, barrack remain. Buhari has a terminal date.

Yes, the political class has worked the arithmetic of elections so much in its favour that like late Aare Musulumi of Yorubaland, Alhaji Alao Arisekola, and the Ibadan community, one man in possession of state power is equivalent to half of his people, regardless of their number. In fact, if you are the Nigerian president, where constitution has practically framed you into a deity, you can only be possessed by the Goodluck Jonathan spirit to accept a walk away, if by some stroke of fortune, the people’s voice, is heard above yours at the poll.

An average Nigerian president not on the ballot, realistically, has about 75 per cent say in who will likely succeed him. It won’t be different with Buhari and for a man we have come to know his capacity to hire in the last six years, his would-be anointed, save for divine intervention, will likely engender more frustration than hope and for someone who isn’t always in a hurry to dispense with failure, glaring poor run of his chosen one in whatever endeavour he/she is coming from, won’t deter him. That is the greatest challenge before the Nigerian buyer, who must either buy from Bubu Stores and likely go away with a China product known as gbarufu (fake) in Ilesa or cross the border to Wadata Plaza for a re-packaged product with doubtful originality. Ijesa will call it, sagbe loju yoyo (glittering for nothing).

So where does that leave the Nigerian buyer? I personally know some Nigerians, whose worst moments as president would be more glorious than Bubu’s best of times. But both Bubu Stores and Wadata Plaza hardly stock such brands. The two “chopping” centres in Abuja thrive in sub-standard products, like Nigerian merchants who usually place special orders from China, for the fake of the original. This same China o.

Already, without those ridiculous “special” orders, China, is without reputation in global trade. Then you are now notorious for faking your be e, be e, (barely acceptable) good products, for gain at home, gain for your dubious partners and sorrow for the Nigerian user. Whoever is hawking sand as commodity to the people will be paid with stone. “Woe to the wicked, it shall be ill with them, for what their hands have done, shall be done to them” Isaiah 3:11.

So where do we look? Maybe, we first do window-shopping at Bubu Stores, with only the wish-list, since it won’t display good stuff on shelf. You say what about Asiwaju and I say, who says he is in stock at Bubu’s. Goodluck Jonathan? Ahh, as good as the GEJ brand may look, partnering Bubu Enterprise, it is doubtful he would be available in stock too. Umahi, el-Ruffy, Ajiri (you wonder who. That is Amosun’s appellation within his circle), Fayemi et al? Well, their problem would be factory-setting. If Bubu-made, then, don’t expect much delivery despite quality. You ask, what about Osinbajo and I say product with in-built quality, but affected by association.

Wadata Plaza? Their most profitable brand is getting too foreign. Asian products, particularly Dubai-packaged, are more of optics than depth. You ask how I know. I shopped over there.

Is it too late to shop elsewhere in 2023? Maybe. Third Force is a new shop, which can’t just get to stock to attract overflowing clientele, despite the potential profitability due to good location. But just maybe, it can get that product that makes everybody drool. Akinwunmi Adesina? I no know book.

John Stuart Mill, in his book, Consideration on Representative Government, says democracy is growing, “when the individuals composing the majority would no longer be reduced to Hobson’s choice, of either voting for the person brought forward by their local leaders or not voting at all.” Funny enough, Hobson’s choice isn’t a dilemma, logical paradox, double blind or blackmail and extortion. It is an illusion of choice. That is the choice before Nigerians.

YOU SHOULD NOT MISS THESE HEADLINES FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE

Battle For First Bank: The Untold Story

Last week was one of twists and turns for First Bank of Nigeria Limited, the nation’s oldest banking institution. It was a week that saw the bank’s MD sacked and reinstated, as major shareholders struggled for control of the financial powerhouse. SULAIMON OLANREWAJU reports…

#EndSARS Panel: Drama As Witness Presents Video Evidence Of Slain Lekki Protesters

A witness of the Lekki tollgate shooting incident, Miss Sarah Ibrahim has presented video evidence of people injured and killed at the scene to the Lagos State Judicial Panel. Tribune Online reports that…

Truck loaded with live bullets falls, spills contents in Onitsha

Onitsha residents are currently in fear, as a truck fully loaded with cartons of live bullets fell into a ditch and spilled its content all around the street, in the commercial city of Anambra State…

After Two Years, Daddy Freeze Apologises To Bishop Oyedepo
Daddy Freeze whose real name is Ifedayo Olarinde has apologised to Bishop Oyedepo who is the presiding bishop and founder of Living Faith Church aka Winners Chapel…