Would you have an issue with your friend dating your ex?

RELATIONSHIPS end. It is inevitable; it has become a part of modern relations. The happenings right after the end of the relationship is as important as what happens within the relationship. This week on WhatsApp Conversation, we sample our respondents’ opinions on what they will do if their friend chooses to date their ex. Excerpts:

 

Kayinsola Ojo

It has happened to me before. My closest friend dated my ex. Even when she was about to start, she asked me for the go-ahead before she could proceed.

I allowed her. Since I have broken up with the guy and there was no string that attached us. Even now, she would constantly gist me about what is going on in the relationship. Sometimes, I even act as a go- between in order to help them solve their issues at that time. Eventually, they broke up.

As for me, I see no wrong in it, although I cannot engage in such, but if someone else decides to do it, I am not going to sit down in judgment.

 

Sylvester Divine

Personally, I will not advise anyone to do that. Some people might not read much meaning into it, but some others will view it as treason. Don’t even think about it. Let your friend’s ex be dead to you, do not even allow anything to fascinate you about your friend’s ex. Just cut the ties and move on.

 

Deborah G

Depends on why we broke up; if he were a bad person, I would advise the friend not to get involved with the person, but if he was a good person…. I’m the one who messed things up if things weren’t just working out between us because we are not compatible.

Please, she should go ahead and get into the relationship. This may be her own defining relationship. Anything is possible, and I will not bring in my pettiness to soil things.

 

Sunday Emmanuel

I don’t like stress, and if the lady is the one that gives my friend joy, then why not? They can both go ahead and enjoy a stress-free relationship. I also do not believe in labeling and stereotypes. Except you are married, you are nobody’s ex. I think only people that are married and are divorced should call their selves ex.

Hammed Mazeedat

Yes, it is very wrong, and for my ex to even think about something like that, it is miscalculated. It is either she has been having sinister thoughts about it all along, or my friend is a snitch.

 

Israel Ayobami

I actually, I might feel insecure about sexual escapade, especially if a breakup occurs as a result of jilt or abuse. Visiting such a friend and more, trusting me with her while alone and all will be an experience only a few can handle. Communication can spark feelings, especially when differences are known.  It won’t be easy, though possible it’s a task if such occurs.

 

Emmanuel Anita

So, it depends on how close you are to that friend. If it’s just a casual friend, she should go ahead, but I think it should not happen if we are close, especially if the break was messy, like he did something bad. Another thing, friends are bound to give each other gist of their relationships.

Your best friend will then keep telling you about someone you already had romantic relations with, or imagine if I broke up with someone on a bad note. Then he starts dating my friend, and she starts to tell me all about the relationship

Unconsciously, I will be scanning her words to see if he still treats her like he treated me. Worse will now be if he does not, I might start to loathe her, and there will be a strain in our relationship.

 

Lanre Oseni

The elders say, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” If my friend dates my ex, he is disloyal because his action depicts that, all the while, he had an interest in the ex even while I was with her. Other people’s opinions may be adverse. My interpretation of my friend dating my “ex” means disloyalty to me and our friendship. Such a sensitive issue was expected to be despised by someone I call “my friend’’. They could ordinarily be talking as I never expect that they should be “enemies.” I could also be talking with my “ex.” When it gets to dating my “ex,” then, there must be “gap and distance” between my friend and I. Such a friend could equally “kill.”

Next week, the discussion topic will be: Should you tell your boyfriend about an abuse, sexual or otherwise, during the first few dates?

To be part of the next edition, send your response to 08136601345.

 

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