We live in a society where women are complimented for beauty and not brains —Ayomidamope Adebiyi

At 32, Ayomidamope Adebiyi is many things; an advocate for global health, health equity and healthcare access especially for African women and children, founder of a nonprofit, donation funded organisation known as Care For The Unreached, with a mission to provide lifesaving health education in rural communities and a nurse. In this interview by YEJIDE GBENGA-OGUNDARE, she speaks on abuse, women empowerment, women’s health and challenges peculiar to women, amongst others.

 

How easy is it for women to stand out and not appear aggressive?

It is evident the there’s gender inequality around the world but sometimes it becomes more visible in Nigeria as many times we are told to be ambitious but not too much, have a voice and express out thoughts but allow the male person even if less qualified have the concluding say. We live in a society where women are being complemented for their beauty and not their brains. Women should not be deterred to aspire and aim higher with fear of retaliation or trying to not appear bossy or aggressive because if a man does exactly the same things I have mentioned, he is instead complimented as being in charge and having a full sense of self. I feel like the way women can stand out is for women to actually act in counterculture and against the laid down expectations in a misogynistic society like Nigeria.

For women to become more visible and valued in the society, it’s not the responsibility of the women but the society as a whole. We need more men to acknowledge women whenever they do a good job and not give the accolade to the male person on the project. Women should be given leadership roles that they deserve and they should not be maligned because there’s another gender that will feel threatened by having a female boss.

The government also has a role to play in creating awareness and giving women lead positions in government parastatals and executive roles. This does matter because young girls will look up to these women and get the understanding that they can also dream to become a leader.

A change in the society starts from the home, so, I feel like the primary responsibility must start from the home. The way parents treat their sons differently from their daughters add to the problem. The family is the microcosm of the society so when we start acclimating our daughters with the notion that they are weaker, less smarter, groomed only for marriage and nothing more, talk about how beautiful they are and not also affirm their intelligence but says the opposite to the boys, we inherently nurture the girl to see herself below or subpar. But when the child in the home receives the same acknowledgement and respect at home, she’s more outspoken, always have a sense of herself;  so when Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said we should all be feminist, it was not meant to be a social media hashtag but truly a call to action because a nation that values her women will thrive because there will be more fairness, equality and equity for all.

 

What would you say is the problem facing women in Nigeria?

There are many problem facing women in Nigeria. Some of the challenges facing women in Nigeria like I’ve mentioned before are the issues of physical and sexual violence, lack of equal pay for work that their male counterparts are doing which inadvertently leads to economic inequality. There are women who still need their husband consents to even open bank accounts and some of them don’t even own a bank account of their own. There is also the exclusion of women in political participation. Lack and access to basic education is a big issue because not having an education definitely widens the economic gap between genders. So the move to ending discrimination against women is not only a human rights issue but it is actually critical to the sustainability of the country.

 

You seem to have a passion for women health, what is the reason behind this?

I am a woman and because I clearly see and understand the impact of women having a great access to get out as women; we are the backbone of the household and society, and when we are not healthy, the habitant and society itself is sick. I am very passionate about maternal health because I’m a mother and also because of the experience of my mom in the process of pregnancy, and even in terms of overall mental health. Women get so bored and tired in taking care of the well-being of our families and loved ones with no one really looking out for their mental and emotional balance, that is why I am passionate about women especially in pregnancy, having access to family planning as well as access to good health care for themselves and their loved ones and children.

 

What are your thoughts on women trying to make a difference?

I think ii is possible for women to make a difference with the right support in the society. We have to create an enabling environment where there is access to good education and acknowledgement for their effort. When the society is invested in women, it actually translates positively to the growth of that country or nation but I don’t only want women to make a difference, I want women to be able to own themselves. I would also like to say we have actually always been making a difference because in every local community and local economic space, you see women occupying it; women balance the whole process. The women have been making a difference in the society for long but they have not been given the chance to take full ownership of themselves and that, I think, is the next way to go.

 

What is your opinion on the spate of abuse especially of children and women in Nigeria?

It is very sad to hear continuously news of sexual harassment, physical violence, harmful traditional practices, emotional and psychological violence, and even socio-economic violence against women and children. If reports are what to go with, it is estimated that about 25 per cent of Nigerian youths mostly women aged 25 and above have experienced some form of gender related violence. This is actually alarming because we know that number is not the true picture as it is clear that the society often blame the victims with thoughts that they made the aggressor angry or in the case of rape, the lady seduced the rapist. Commentaries like that makes the victim quiet and rather wallow in self deprivation without seeking redress or justice.

While these incidences sadden me, I am encouraged by the fact that there is more awareness via social media of reporting these heinous crimes. Also, the victims are becoming courageous to speak up which I hope will make us as a society aware, as awareness brings knowledge. The government then must also address the root causes of this violence against kids and women by implementing policy and enacting laws that will protect women and children and punish the aggressors. The government must also address socioeconomic situations of the people as there is also evidence of violence influenced by financial challenges.

 

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