Tips on how to avoid issues with your roommate

Having roommates can be an exciting or frustrating experience depending on how well you know how to cope when living with others. It takes a great deal of intelligence, perseverance and patience to live with others and bring conflicts to the barest minimum.  

There are certain individuals who are difficult and having such people as your roommates can become your greatest nightmare if you aren’t a wise and emotionally intelligent individual.  

There are certain things that serve as oil to grease the wheels of your relationship with your roommates. Having a deep understanding of these important factors helps you avoid issues or conflicts with your roommates even though conflicts cannot be avoided totally when living with others.  

Discussed in this article are things that you should do in order to avoid issues with your roommates.  

1. Know that you are different individuals with different backgrounds and upbringing   

A major cause of conflicts among roommates is the failure to understand that every individual is different. You shouldn’t expect everyone to be like you or behave as you do.  

Bearing in mind that your roommate is a different individual with a different ideology, belief system, upbringing, values, behaviours and background will help you to avoid expecting perfection from them.   

When you know that the person you are staying with is a unique individual with their own weaknesses and strengths, you are better able to reduce your expectation of them, thus, you avoid being disappointed in case they don’t behave as you expect them to.  

2. Be understanding and patient  

A patient dog is said to eat the fattest bone. To live with any individual with little or no issues, you need to be a very patient individual and one of great understanding.   

Even living peaceably with your own family requires great wisdom, how much more someone who is not related to you?   

According to a Yoruba saying, patience can make a stone tender and patience can never be too much. To avoid issues with your roommate(s), you need to be very patient and be of great understanding. Try to see things from their own perspectives too and learn to put yourself in their shoes.   

Doing this will go a long way in helping you get along well with your roommate.  

3. Create boundaries  

In life, it is important we set healthy boundaries. This is just in a bid to avoid unnecessary complications and troubles.  

The mistake most people make with regard to roommates is that we fail to set boundaries at the beginning but when issues start coming up then we are forced to put the necessary boundaries in place.  

When moving in with a person, the first thing you should do is set boundaries. Tell them what you like, what you don’t, your deal breakers and others. Don’t try to accommodate certain things or behaviours you can’t cope with in the long run.  

I know you want to show yourself as friendly but that doesn’t stop you from putting the needed boundaries in place.   

Put boundaries in place and save yourself unnecessary drama with roommates.  

4. Study each other (avoid assumptions)  

Assumptions are dangerous.  When you are moving in with a person as a roommate, you need to take your time to study the other party. You don’t just assume this is who your roommate is, be patient enough to study them.   

When you take time out to study each other, you have a better understanding of who you are dealing with. You know what they want and what they don’t, and you gain a better understanding of how to relate with them without going beyond your boundaries.   

Friendship last longer when the parties involved understand and know each other well.  

5. Communication is key   

For every kind of relationship to thrive, communication is key. People who talk less fight more.   

To avoid issues with your roommates you need to learn how to speak up. Don’t just keep everything to yourself, learn to talk.  

You need to learn the art of effective communication. You should know what to say and when to say it. At times, it is not that some roommates don’t communicate, it is just that they do it wrongly. You don’t just talk to people anyhow; you need to learn how to be courteous with your words.  

Have you heard people say that “it is not what he said that annoyed me, it is how he said it.” To avoid issues with your roommates, you don’t just learn to communicate but you have to learn and practice how to communicate well and effectively.   

6. Compromise   

When relating with your roommates, you shouldn’t always want to have your way, you should be willing to make compromises.  

You must learn to shift grounds at times if that is the only means for peace to reign. Don’t be rigid, be flexible. Be willing to make compromises in a bid to ensure that you have a peaceful stay with your roommates.   

When we all learn to make compromises, we nip certain issues that could cause conflict with our roommates in the bud.  

It is quite possible to have a peaceful and problem-free stay with your roommates only if you are willing to pay the price of understanding, compromises, avoiding assumptions, effective communication, creating boundaries and patience.   

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