Breakups are quite common, and that too in romantic relationships. It can’t be said how long it would take to heal from a breakup. However, there are several reasons you may never heal from a breakup that will be discussed in this article.
1. You don’t stop apologising to be taken back
This right here is not going to help matters. You need to show up for your self-respect. There’s a breakup. If you feel the need to apologise, whether you are sure that you are the problem or not, that’s fine because it is totally up to you. However, constantly apologising to be taken back is not going to help you heal because you’ll keep getting negative responses and if you ever get a positive response, things might never go back to the way they were. Your self-respect would be on the line, and you’d have to fight to keep things going because you begged to be taken back.
You may never heal because you will be attacked with thoughts of how to navigate things. Doubts too will attack your peace of mind.
2. You are stalking them
You should not stalk them, either physically or virtually. Stalking them would mean trying to investigate how they are faring, what they are doing, who they are with, if they still care about you, if they regret leaving you and all.
Then you start wondering if they miss you. You want to know if they have moved on quickly, you want to know if they cried, and you want to know if they will ever come back. You can, in fact, start stalking people that are connected to him or her to see if you can get cues that will satisfy your curiosity.
3. You speak ill of them
Another reason you may never heal from a breakup is that you constantly speak ill of them. People are often mistaken that if they speak ill of their partner, the love they have for him or her will be replaced by hatred. Hatred and bitterness would be harmful to you and will disrupt your functionality. It will make you depressed and you may never be in the right frame of mind to move on.
4. Enter into another relationship
Some friends often see this as the easy way out to get over an ex, so they give you some advice to enter into another relationship as it will be a good distraction for you, and it will enable you to forget about your former partner. Well, this probably sounds noble and might appear as the easy way to heal from a breakup, but this never really works.
Healing may not happen by distracting yourself with something similar to what broke your heart in the first place.
5. Comparison
Now that you have broken up, you start to compare your past relationship with that of others. You speak spitefully about them, and you believe that they will suffer the same fate as you. You can’t bear to see partners happy without mentioning that you were once there. You assume the new relationship with someone else won’t last just like you. Your slogan is, ‘Last last, everybody go chop breakfast.’ That expression in Nigerian parlance means in the end, everyone will suffer a heartbreak.
6. You lie to yourself
Time and time again, you keep lying to yourself that you are over your former partner just because you don’t want to appear weak. You think that lying that you are over it would make you feel better and preserve your self-respect. You think it will make you feel on top of the game. You also think it will enable you to be in charge of your emotions.
7. You are trying to show off to your new partner
This is also another major reason you may never heal from a breakup. You want to be in your partner’s face literally so that he or she can see what they are ‘missing.’ That would really not help you in any way. It will only put you in that space where you feel the need to prove yourself time and time again, when there is nothing to prove. It makes you look creepy and really obvious, and that in itself does not speak well of how you see yourself.
Showing off to him or her should never be an option. Before doing something like that? You should think it through and through before doing it. Ask yourself truthful questions, and justify if it’s necessary to go down that route.
In all you do, as someone who wants to heal from a breakup, never appear desperate or do any of the above-mentioned. There are several other ways to heal that are nobler than all that this article has highlighted. Do it right.
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