Letters

On friends with benefits

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Everyone has friends and no one can live in isolation but in today’s world, friendship is taking up a different meaning and there are different kinds of friendship while the different kinds of friendship have diverse and distinct efforts on who we are as individuals.

Looking at the type of friendship today that exists, there is a common term that comes up; a type of friendship known as friends with benefits. The words friends with benefits are used loosely among youths today but many still do not understand what they actually mean and cannot make informed decisions on whether it is right for them.

What is friends with benefits and what does this kind of casual connection truly mean or entail? Friends with benefits relationship simply refer to a situation where two people are physically intimate with one another, yet they’re not committed to each other in any other way.

People involved in friends with benefits relationship clearly enjoy spending time together sexually but their relationship isn’t romantic and has no strings attached, it is usually an open relationship. Typically, these relationships can be between people that consider themselves platonic friends without pressure or people that have occasional sexual encounters without the defined lines of a relationship.

Are there rules to this kind of relationships? Yes. And what are the rules? The major rule is never fall in love, don’t look for commitment and never ask for more or get jealous of the real partner.

But is this kind of relationship right morally and spiritually? And does it really add any value to societal life? It is one of the signs of lost values and moral decadence and one of the factors responsible for relationships losing value.

I don’t know what drives this phenomenon but I can say that it is unfortunate that we have lost values and the sanctity that makes relationships sensible.

 

Jade Adedeji,

Lagos

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