No, Deacon Adesina, no

Say what you may, Deacon Femi Adesina, spokesperson to President Muhammadu Buhari, was a Woke writer, before national duty, called. It is, however, debatable that he has always been what he is manifesting now, despite the sayings about leopard skin, not becoming a lefty at old age and efin niwa (inner-man can’t be hidden for too long).

Two things are, however, clear. One, he has always been a child of God, even if his ways, are now widely considered to grossly contradict the very first Four Commandments of the Ten, God gave Moses. Unfortunately, those are the most crucial in our relationship with Him, which Jesus also affirmed in Mark 12:30-31 and Matthew 22:36-40. Two, on a lighter note though, his mien of someone who would struggle to finish a kobo-worth of agidi (cold pap) hasn’t changed; Yoruba’s classic description of the meek, who Jesus wants His own to be, to be like Him. The problem now is when he opens his mouth, or picks his pen. Both are currently doing incalculable damage to his new-birth in Christ. His visage usually reminds of another titled man-of-God, surname-sake and presumptive in-coming President of the Nigerian Bar Association, Deacon Dele Adesina, SAN. Both have a peculiar hairstyle, which accentuates their monied-cheeks and helps hide their age. Both are grandpas.

With heartfelt horror and tremor, many, including thousands who voted Oga Femi’s principal into office, have watched the descent, with some gawking the last time he guffawed, trying to take every ounce of humanity away from a certain Bayo Oluwasanmi, because he attacked Buhari and “his women”. The way he went digging hitherto eti eleta o gbo (secrets), shows a man seeking revenge to heal. Didn’t God say vengeance is His?

The latest fiasco of publicity, which birthed damaging viral video, suggesting Deacon Adesina isn’t an Omoluabi, has given a rare insight into how his mind currently works. Truly, no art can deconstruct the heart. The face may be dead-pan, but the stomach has always been roiling. For him, it is time for war.

Going by his explanation after being publicly roasted, he is playing the Aburo Dada (mercenary), because his boss isn’t into much speaking, giving the wailers an advantage, to waylay him, at will. Wrong diagnosis. All being demanded was constant interaction between a once-loved president and once-crushing led, not a parrot. And when did Obasanjo become Aso Rock model for exemplary public conduct, that Deacon is now hoisting his abrasive style as his go-to.

Maybe, if more time had been devoted to scholarship and not insult-spewing, a perfect model for his “quiet” boss, who always finds his voice abroad, would have been found and new styles adapted.

Calvin Coolidge took office as American president in 1923, after the death of President Warren G. Harding. He was so laid-back to the point of earning self the “Silent Cal” cognomen. History recorded him as “fairly accessible.” However, during his over five years in office, he held approximately 520 press conferences, an average of eight per month. In fact, it was during his term, that the term “White House spokesman” (equivalent of Mr. Adesina’s position) was used extensively for the first time. All statements made on his behalf by his spokesperson, were also not part of the 520, as per the rule.

Imagine having to deduct all statements signed by Deacon from public statements attributable to his principal. It should also be noted that Coolidge was the first American president to use the radio to speak to the whole nation. So much for a languid fellow.

There is another fellow Deacon should meet for ancient wisdom. His name is Daniel Lamont. He was editor of Albany Argus, before President Grover Cleveland employed him as private secretary, also handling the intrusive media. In 1886, his boss got 21-year-old hottie, Frances Folsom, for wife. Couple escaped to Deer Park in Maryland for honeymoon rituals, paparazzi was there. Lamont had to step in, for his boss to enjoy his new acquisition. As expected, the “invasion” became a national controversy. Then-influential New York World stepped in, with a memorable editorial, with a portion reading; “The idea of offending the bachelor sensitiveness of President Cleveland or the maidenly reserve of his bride has been far from anybody’s thought…We must insist that the President is public property; that it is perfectly legitimate to send correspondents and reporters to follow him when he goes on a journey, and to keep watch over him and his family”.

I laugh at times seeing Deacon gripe over what he assumes to be a raw deal for his boss in the hand of wailers. What would he be doing, if his boss were to be under deliberate, most-times unjust, but obviously-choreographed mainstream media attacks on everything Trump, birthing the Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) neologism. As things stand today, the Mainstreamers are ready to be destroyed, destroying Trump. How about that!

The media has been kind to President Buhari. By his antecedents, politics and all, he deserves no let-up. He has no history of giving such comfort, especially when he deconstructs someone as an enemy. But God has his ways with us. He is always seeking the undeserving to teach us about His mercy. That is why Mr. Adesina today can complain of verbal assault against his principal, whose hands are literally full of blood and I mean, blood.

Maybe, there is also a book Deacon should also read if he hadn’t; “All The Presidents’ Spokesmen” by Woody Klein, a legend, variously described as a lifelong journalist, with 65 years under his belt. He died February 11, at 90. His opinions, stories and observations at close quarters of many Washington spinners, should matter to Deacon and others, doing his kind of job.

Then, what about Kayleigh McEnany? Deacon’s new White House counterpart, came with a solemn promise on her first day on the job. “I will not lie to you,” she assured both media and the nation. Can we toast to that, for a new beginning, for Oga Femi and others, all over town, defending the indefensible? Kayleigh sounds like Raleigh, that keke ologere (roller-coasting bicycle) of day of yore. Only truth can be that smooth-sailing.

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