Motivating kids without bribery

More often than not, some adults find it difficult to get children to do what they want and have to resort to bribery and negotiation. It is however possible to motivate children without engaging in underhand processes.

The following tips may help to win over a child who is being adamant:

Praise effort, not just results: If you want to motivate them, focus on their effort more than the end result; talk about how proud you are that they’re putting effort, don’t focus on winning or losing.

Stay calm: When you’re telling your child to do something or disciplining them, stay calm. Kids can learn how to manage their emotions by watching you. Be concise and clear; tell them what to do, when to do it and reason for doing it as well as consequences.

Reward them but not with food: Rather than using video game, phones or TV time as reward, create active time together a reward; let your child plan a day full of active things they enjoy because kids crave attention.  Don’t use foods as reward because it teaches kids to use food to fix their feelings and this can set them up for an unhealthy relationship with food.

Withholding treats because of misbehavior is also a bad idea because forbidden food becomes more attractive.

Show them how: You are the best role model your child can have, so lead by example.

Offer choices with some control: Instead of ordering your kids to do a chore, give them options. Ask if they want to do a task now or in a few minutes. Ask if they would prefer to take out the trash or empty the dishwasher because kids fight back when they feel like they have no control and resisting you becomes a way of asserting themselves. This teaches them how to make healthy choices later.

 

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