Intimacy

Mental health and marital conflicts

ONE aspect of marital conflicts which is often not given topmost priority is the state of mental health of the couple. It’s important to note that any marriage that suffers from mental health issues will be in conflicts. This is because poor mental health is a stressor in marriage. It makes the partner suffering from it to be touchy and emotionally drained, there by making communication with his or her partner difficult. If this is not properly handled, it may become a great conflict point in the marriage.

It is therefore important for married couples to ensure that they are in good mental health. They must show concern for the state of their mental health and help each other to be mentally stable.

How to achieve this is the focus of this write up, and I hope it will help married couples in conflicts due to poor mental health.

Identifying problems without proffering solutions will amount to a wasted exercise. Every mental health disorder is treatable. Couples facing such a challenge should know that help is available to them. So, there is no reason to lose hope, and resign to fate. Once they embrace this truth, they will be able to seek for the available help. Research has shown that “victims” (patients) are reluctant to seek for professional help by going for diagnosis. According to Dr. Lasebikan, in his book, Women’s Mental Health Problems, “Only two in every five people experiencing a mood swings, anxiety or substance use disorder seeks assistance in the year of the onset of the disorder.”

So, husband and wife must not shy away from seeking for professional help, which has proven to be the easy way out of mental health disorder. Encourage your spouse to seek for professional help, adhere strictly to medication usage, and attend therapy sessions together as often as possible.

According to Dr. Ajayi, marital vow of a life time commitment should motivate husband and wife to stand for each other in times like this; by showing maximum love and care to enable your spouse scale through mental health challenge.

Usage of medication in treating mental health issues is still an effective option to deal with the situation. The fear of being stigmatized for the usage of anti depressants should not deter “victims” from embracing it. Also, it should be understood that the anti depressants are not addictive, and as such, no fear should be entertained in its usage. Though there could be adverse effects in its usage, such effects hardly last for more than a few weeks. Hence, there is no cause for alarm. In fact, there will always be one anti depressant that will suit a patient such that the issue of its adverse effects becomes irrelevant.

Research, according to Dr. Ajayi, affirms that faith in God is also good for mental health issues. “Believe in God, have faith beyond the present situation. With faith, your spouse is able to pray with you.” I also believe that faith in God gives one the needed energy to hold on till change comes no matter how difficult or insurmountable the challenges may seem.

Engage in talking things through with your spouse, fix time to talk about each day, how you spend the day and all. Share your world with your spouse; it helps to deal with stressors. The fears of being misunderstood, judged, and being offered unsolicited help should not be allowed to prevent one from engaging in talking things through with one’s spouse. The spouse should listen without interruption during the talking through. Men don’t engage much in this because of the way they were raised or the wrong information they have about such an interaction.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is also a talking through process available through a psychiatrist that is quite helpful in treating mental disorders, especially cases of depression. This therapy helps the patient understand his or her thinking pattern, either from childhood, or a phase of life, that makes the disorder to fester. Identifying this will go a long way to provide the necessary support towards overcoming the disorder.

Engage in mental improvement activities such as fun filled activities that you enjoy or have passion for. For instance, if you love to dance, go out there and dance like a star. You can also go for swimming or games.

You should also visit natural environment for green exercise. Nature impacts greatly on one, and helps one to unwind. Parks, games village tourist sites revealing nature’s wonders are quite helpful in improvement of mental health.

Regular exercise will impact positively on the stress level, enhance a happy mood, self-esteem, and stimulates the body for a good night sleep.

Conclusively, couples should know that help is available for any mental health disorder especially if help is sought early enough. People do recover from them, and nothing is strange about them, so we don’t have to feel shy to seek for professional help. As stated, it is a common phenomenon that is ignored or handled with neglect by many and that leads to their destruction. Many marital cases of physical abuse and spousal death could have been averted if only adequate attention is paid to the role of mental health in marriage. Handling mental health disorders the right way will help to reduce marital conflicts.

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