At what point does one get here? In other words, at what stage should an individual see a case as abusive and, therefore, seek the agency’s intervention?
It all depends. If it is rape, the case should get here immediately. Child abuse is always urgent, because we coordinate response for the rescue of children and all of that. Domestic violence is the one to which there is no strait-jacket approach. Some survivors report immediately it happens. Some do that immediately after and for others, it could be two years later, five years and sometimes even 10 years later. I have seen a client that was married in September and reported in December. I have seen a client that was married in June and reported the next year. So, there is no hard and fast rule to it. But for domestic violence, people tend to come here as the last resort. They have gone to mosque. They have gone to church. They have spoken to the sponsor of the marriage. They have spoken to the family. They have had family meetings. They have tried to settle, but all is still not going well. Then they come here as the last resort.
The state government, through the agency, seems to have come up with vigorous campaign against abuse, rape and other forms of domestic violence. What would you say has informed this sudden, vigorous campaign?
I wouldn’t say it is sudden. It is not like we had been folding our arms and watching. We have always been doing it. What you are seeing now is a result of the mandate given us by the state governor to have an intensified six-month campaign against domestic and sexual violence. So, we have been doing it. Let me assure the public that this is going to continue. The governor obviously wants these issues to be on the front burner. That is why we are creating awareness in the public sphere through jingles on television, radio, in newspapers and on social media. That is why we are engaging critical stakeholders, too. We take the campaign to those in the markets, traditional rulers and we are talking to the religious leaders. We want to cover the whole space to ensure that all the relevant first respondents are on the same page, because even though we receive many cases, it doesn’t mirror the true state of things. What we are seeing here is only a tip of the iceberg. We have a lot of cases going on unreported. But if we are able to establish a proper network with these people at the community level, we believe that there will be improved reporting and better ways of handling these cases.
This must be quite a task for your agency to carry out, since it is like trying to make a rather ‘taciturn’ and highly secretive society talk. How have you been doing this?
We are making headway and the statistics confirms this. Last year, we saw 456 reported cases. But this year, as of August, we have seen double that figure. Statistics shows that people are more aware and better enlightened. We are getting more Lagosians in such situations to talk. It shows they are
also coming out of their shells. They are reporting more, which is good. It means people are now more aware of the support services that are available. It means that people are now more aware of our duties. They now know that they can call our numbers, come to our office, air their grievances and get attended to. So, we are gradually breaking the ice.
After making a report, what is next for the complainant? Do you also settle some of the cases?
Mediation? Of course, we have the Directorate of Citizens Right, we have the Office of the Public Defender, and even ADR can be adopted at the police station. We have 11 family support units in Lagos State, 11 police stations that have trained professionals that handle these issues and they treat them with the empathy and professionalism that our survivors need. So, if they are referred to those stations and they feel that ADR, mediation, is another way of handling the matter, why not? The simple truth is that the government is not out to break homes. It is our joy to reconcile parties in domestic violence cases. But there are some situations in which parties don’t want to be reconciled, situations where the perpetrator is insisting that there is no violence; that they don’t need help, that they are fine and that the survivor is the devil and, therefore, the one that needs help. So, in that kind of situation, what are you going to reconcile? You get a problem solved half-way if you admit you have a problem. But if someone believes that they are perfect, what can you solve? They say it is insanity to do the same thing over and over again, and expect a different result. If you have a situation where parties admit that they have issues, why not? We put them in contact with our clinical psychologists and get feedback on how they (the psychologists) have fared with such clients. They will be the ones to say ‘I have seen this client. I have noticed improvement, progress. I have given them homework. I have told them to do this and that.’ And if we see the change in them, it is our greatest joy. But that is very rare, because most perpetrators of domestic violence do not admit that there is a problem. They are always in denial.
In some magistrates’ courts today, an underage victim is called out when the perpetrator is docked. Does that not amount to an abuse on the part of the state?
We don’t call them victims but survivors. But what you are talking about must be a family court.
No, magistrates’ courts.
That shouldn’t be. To the best of my knowledge, it should be a family court, because it is a child that is involved. Even in that kind of situation, the press should not be there, because family courts enjoy some level of privacy since they are family issues. And I am sure that subsequently, they would ask to see that child. It is just at the initial arraignment that the child would be required to be there. And there are even instances where the child would not be required to come. We had a case of a child that became bedridden as a result of abuse. The child was flung to the wall. She became comatose and was in that state for two months. When we got to court and they asked for the child, we said she was in the hospital. We tendered pictures as evidence. So, there are some situations where even the child might not be in court. But as for that first time, I think the child has to be there, as long as it is not done in an intrusive manner so that the child is not stigmatised.
Don’t you find it alarming, the increasing cases of defilement?
There is nothing alarming here. It is the reporting that is alarming. These things have always been there but it has always been hush-hush. Nobody talks about them. They are matters people prefer to sweep under the carpet. What we are seeing now is that people are reporting and this is good. Non-governmental organisations are doing what they ought to be doing, the government is doing what it ought to be doing and the media are doing what they ought to be doing, ensuring that these cases are at the forefront. So, I want you take solace in the fact that it is the reporting and not necessarily the commission of the act that is on the increase, because these things have always been there.
How do you feel when you hear cases of human rights violation?
As a professional, I must be neutral, but personally, what gets to me is child abuse, not just defilement but anything that is done against a child. You know, children are vulnerable and we need people to speak up for them. A woman could say ‘I am moving out. I am done,’ but who is there to encourage a child? Who is there to protect him? So, the vulnerability and the fact that the child is alone and does not deserve any of the treatment get to me personally.
Is there any particular case that you found heart-rending?
Yes, that of the three-year-old child that I talked about, who was flung against the wall. Honestly, I couldn’t understand how an uncle could fling his niece to the wall just because she defecated on her own bed. The child was flung to the wall and she went into coma for two months. A brain surgery was carried out on her. As I speak to you, she is still recovering. She hasn’t got over it. I can’t understand how that could be done to a human being. It is quite sad.
But what is the number of convictions you have got so far?
This year, we have gotten five, including the one the DPP got. The DPP was able to get, I think, 14 years imprisonment, last month, for a case of defilement. We have got convictions for three child abuse and two defilement cases. And we have some that are coming up very soon. We have also got 15 restraining orders. We need to encourage survivors of domestic violence to approach the court for restraining orders. They must not be shy to approach the court. This is because most times, when a survivor leaves an abusive relationship, she wants some form of guarantee that the man will not come and pour acid on her; that he will not take the children away or badge into her house and misbehave. That is the essence of restraining orders. Most times, when the women come here, they say ‘I want him to sign an undertaking’, but we need something that has the backing of the law. So, we tell them there is a law on domestic violence and part of that law enables them to obtain a restraining order from the court. When you approach the court for a restraining order, it is a civil issue; there is no need to be apprehensive, because most times, they don’t even want the man to go to jail. They will say ‘I don’t want to be given a bad name. I don’t want them to say I sent him to jail. If he’s jailed, who will marry off my children?’ All those societal and cultural issues are always there. So, we are increasing the number of restraining orders that we are getting.
Looking at the emotions some of these cases subject you to, like that of the three-year-old child, were there cases that actually exceeded your expectation?
I will say the cases have only spurred us to do more, because it is a team here. They have spurred us to getting justice for the survivors. Don’t forget it is not just the witness that needs justice; don’t forget a crime is also committed against the state. As I always say, when a man is beating a woman or a woman is beating a man, they are beating the state; a child is defiled or a woman is raped, it is the state that is defiled or raped. If a child is beaten, it is the state that is beaten. So, the witness needs justice, as does the state. So, all the emotions we might have, our anger, frustrations, we channel them to ensuring that the survivors get justice.
The time we have spent here has provided an insight into what your typical day here is like in terms of human traffic. Can you give us an idea of the number of cases you handle in a day?
We entertain an average of eight cases per day, because we have started to entertain 100 cases a month. I am talking of fresh cases. The whole thing actually changed in March when we began to entertain an average of 100 cases in a month.
But what would you say is responsible for this sudden surge in the number? Why are Lagosians suddenly ready to talk about domestic violence?
I think this can be attributed to the awareness we are working tirelessly to create. And you know, in a situation like this, the number will go up, stabilise and hopefully start to come down. That is why people are now ready to talk.
Ordinarily, one would expect the agency’s clientele to comprise only females but reports have it that men do come here, too. How do you feel when you see men complain to be suffering abuse?
It is a validation of what we have been saying; that domestic violence happens to both men and women. It is just that statistics show that it is mostly women that experience it and report it. It doesn’t mean that men are not suffering domestic violence, especially verbal and emotional abuse. I have seen a case where the woman reported that her husband beat and assaulted her. And when the man came, he said ‘from the moment my wife wakes up till when she sleeps, it is just epe (cursing)’. I asked the woman if that was true and she answered in the affirmative and she gave her reasons. She said the man did take care of the house and that was her way of getting back at him. So, men experience domestic violence, too. Maybe it is a thing of ego, maybe it is a thing of pride, especially because of our clime. Men are raised not to show vulnerability. They tell you a man should be tough, should not cry, that he should not do this and that.
And which of those cases would you say swept you off your feet?
The male? Hmm… I won’t say any one has swept me off my feet. As I said, it is just a validation that domestic violence can happen to both sexes. I try not to be swept off my feet (laughs).
What informed the question is that a lot of people out there might actually find it difficult to believe that men, too, are actually coming here to lodge complaints about their wives?
I think the common denomination in all these cases is that all of them don’t want to report the woman. They don’t want the police to get involved. They only want us to call her and offer them counsel. All the men say that, apart from one that said he had filed for divorce. All the other men are willing to work on their marriages. So that is what got me thinking that this is serious, what can we do? But it certainly never swept me off my feet.
But with the above explanation, are we right to describe the men as being more committed in relationships than women?
Let’s make a comparative analysis. Out of the cases we have handled this year, as of August, 853, more than 500 have to do with domestic violence. Of the about 500 cases, only about 10 are with the police or in court. In the rest of the cases, the woman wants us to call the man and get him to sign an undertaking; let him go for anger management, let him do this and that. So, majority of the women are still very much interested in their relationships. They just want the beating to stop. So, I won’t agree that men are more desirous. If anything at all, it is women that are more persevering and you can’t blame them. It is because of the premium we place on marriage in this part of the globe. The woman is assumed not complete if she is not married. Even after she gets married, she is still regarded as incomplete until she has children and even after she has children, she is still seen as being not complete until she has a male child. So, there is so much pressure on women to get married and stay married. Very few women will come and say ‘I am done.’
As a woman, how do you detach yourself from these cases, especially the ones lodged by women?
I am human and even when I am neutral, they will say I am biased. That is why we have male officers. When men come, we get the male officers attend to them. But if it is a case that we obviously need to escalate, by all means, we make sure it goes to the other directorates. At the end of the day, we are professionals; I would not allow my religion, culture or beliefs to stand in the way of what I do. We have protocols, guidelines that we work with. We have our handbook that guides our activities. So, we must make sure that whatever we do, we handle it with utmost professionalism.
The way you talk and carry out tasks on this desk on a daily basis demonstrates an uncommon knowledge of your responsibility and the high degree of passion you have the job. Did you ever embark on a special training for the job?
I think it just happened, honestly. However, the criminal law of Lagos State that was passed in 2011, I was on the committee that drafted the bill, and my task was on rape. I was asked to do a research on rape, sexual offences. Maybe that prepared me, I don’t know.
But talking about getting results, how would you compare getting such results in this clime with doing that in a more organised society like in the western world, where you have had the opportunity of experiencing by virtue of your education?
The domestic violence law came in 2007 and that was before I came on board. It is not like I had any influence on the law. The only law I had influence on apart from the several laws I was privileged to sit on is the criminal law. And what did we do? Rape is a universal issue. Under these jurisdictions, we have laws on rape. What we did was to introduce sexual assault and penetration, which is called modern rape. So, a man can actually bring an action against a woman for sexually assaulting him. A woman can bring an action against a fellow woman for sexually assaulting her. It doesn’t have to be the male organ that is used for penetration; it could be a pen or a stick. It doesn’t have to be the female part that is penetrated; it can be the anus, the eyes, the mouth, the nose or any opening in the body. We looked at what obtains in other jurisdictions. How are they fighting this menace? And we incorporated that in our law. Now we had this issue: people telling me ‘oh, you are trying to bring what is obtainable abroad, here’. But I tell them it is already here. Let us wake up and smell the coffee. That domestic violence law was in 2007 and what we are trying to do is make the law alive. The letters of the laws must come alive, and they can only come alive when we reactivate them. It is not enough for us to have a law. It will continue to remain on our shelves. How is it possible that Section 5 of the law talks about obtaining a restraining order and people don’t know about this? You can’t just talk about obtaining a restraining order by coming to my office; we have to go to the court. So, nobody is doing it because we want to emulate America. This is what we have now. This law is 10 years in 2017. Can you imagine that? And it has been there gathering dust. But we are waking it up. So, it is not about bringing foreign culture. And, in any event, culture and tradition must give way to the law of the land and the law of the land in Lagos states that rape and defilement carry life imprisonment. You can’t tell me that because it is your culture to keep quiet, not to say anything, we should therefore allow you to go unprosecuted if you flouted any of those laws. There is a law and we must do the needful.
This is government and we are responsible for our people. In domestic violence, you can’t tell me that because I ensured that I got a restraining order, I am trying to break your home. No. It is somebody that is alive that will have a home, isn’t it? Do we wait until the person dies before we admit that the situation is bad? Don’t forget that we are not preaching divorce but separation. It is a woman or a man that is alive that can go on their knees and pray to God to save their marriage. So, let us not wait until we record so many casualties – this person died; this person slept and did not wake up; they poisoned this person – before we realise that this is an epidemic. It is an epidemic. It is a silent killer.
But how come the law on domestic violence was allowed to gather dust for years before this sudden implementation?
We have actually been doing it but as a team. No one organisation can handle these issues in their entirety. You go to the police, you report the criminal aspect. You go to OPD, you get a lawyer. You go to Women Affairs, maybe they do mediation. There are so many. That is why they require a holistic approach. By the time you contact any of our agencies, the whole system is activated. Does a woman need to be empowered? Does a child need to change school? Do we need to prosecute or get a restraining order? Does the woman need to be rescued? Does she need shelter? It is a holistic approach. Maybe we are getting better results because we are working together. There is no competition. We are working as a team to provide a holistic response.
How old is the agency?
We are three now. It was established in 2014.
You must be the pioneer coordinator?
Of course, yes.
Being saddled with a task such as this is definitely not without its risks. Have you ever been threatened?
Yes, several times.
By whom?
Perpetrators, of course. But one should expect that.
Do high-placed Nigerians also come here to lodge complaints or seek redress? For instance, how do you deal with cases involving uniformed personnel, since they are generally believed in this part of the world to be above the law?
It cuts across. We have seen bankers. We have seen professionals – lawyers, doctors. We have seen police officers. Domestic violence is not an issue that is limited to a particular category.
That is a myth. Well, we have handled cases involving high-profile Nigerians, celebrities. Everybody knows about the Mercy Aigbe case. It is this office that is handling the case. We have got a restraining order and DPP is prosecuting. We have cases of officers and whether we like it or not, they have protocols in their respective places. And that was what inspired us to engage these top officers from the military. Two months ago, we went round the different barracks in Lagos. We wrote to the commandant, NSDC, we wrote to the police. We have had cases of people complaining about uniform men. And since it is a uniform man, you can’t just go and pick him up. They have protocols that must be followed. So, it is better for us to inform the relevant authorities in the military to release the man to us, like what you just saw here in the case of the customs officer. So, we have to parley with these people and introduce ourselves to them. We have to assure them that we are partners in progress and that we are not out to bring their institutions into disrepute. But the reality is that some of these men are erring on the side of the law and they must stop hiding behind their uniforms. And we have been enjoying remarkable cooperation in this regard – with these officers, the police, the army, the customs, NSDC. We have been enjoying a good relationship with them. And we hope to continue with this.
What would you say is your greatest challenge on this job?
I think it is the society. There is a lot of resistance from the society. It is amazing. You have a landlord who would come and beg on behalf of a perpetrator and you begin to wonder is this landlord related to the perpetrator? We don’t want fight; we believe in settlement. They forget that they are compounding a felony, which is punishable by law by up to two years imprisonment. That is one just one of the situations when somebody will bring so much pressure on survivors. There is so much pressure on survivors in this part of the globe not to seek justice – pressure from home, from religious institutions, from the communities and, like I said, pressure from the landlords. We have several women being ejected just because they wanted to pursue justice. I think the society really is our major challenge and that is why we must continue to do advocacy. That is why we must continue to sensitise people. People need to know.
But when they come like that, what are usually their prayers?
Domestic violence is both civil and criminal. If it is criminal, we inform the police. If it is civil, we go to court. If it is an assault occasioning harm, the survivor is entitled to compensation.
Do you normally help them get such compensation?
We link them up with our lawyers pro bono.
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