How to improve your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough.  Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure,”  said Dave Lennick, Executive VP, American Express Financial Advisers.   

Emotional intelligence has become one of the most sought-after skills by employers and a cogent part of our lives that we all must work on if we must truly achieve success in life.   

According to the Oxford online dictionary, emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.  

It has been said over time that emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success. It is important we all work towards becoming more emotionally intelligent individuals since it is germane to our overall success.   

No one was born having mastery over their emotional intelligence rather people put in their best efforts and become intentional about becoming more emotionally intelligent.  Since emotional intelligence can be developed, here are ways we can all improve our emotional intelligence.   

1. Taking self-evaluation   

We oftentimes get so busy with the daily activities that we often forget to check up on our own selves to know how truly we are faring or coping with life daily challenges.   

To improve your emotional intelligence, you need to create time to evaluate yourself. Ask yourself genuine questions such as, What are my weaknesses? What are my strengths? In what way have I improved on who I was? Am I becoming a better person or is it the other way?  

Giving sincere answers to these questions and others and being willing to work on yourself to become a better person helps you build your emotional intelligence.   

Take the courage to sincerely evaluate yourself from time to time.  

2. Check out how you react to situations   

To improve your emotional intelligence, you need to take time out to study how you react to different situations and the reason you do so. Are there certain things, emotions or happenings that determine your reaction?  

Do you respond negatively when you’re stressed or under pressure or are your reactions determined by other factors like mood, finance and so on? Do you become upset every time there’s a delay or something doesn’t happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it’s not their fault?   

Taking time out to observe how you react to situations within or beyond your control and seeking to improve on your shortcomings and weaknesses or strengths help you become a more emotionally intelligent person.   

3. Taking responsibility   

Oftentimes than not, we don’t really like taking responsibility for our actions not to talk of taking responsibility for others’ actions.   

Truth be told, emotionally intelligent individuals are individuals who have learnt the act of taking responsibility for their actions and that of others.  

If you want to become an emotionally intelligent person, you need to learn how to take responsibility for your actions and that of others even if it will require you to bear some punishment or consequences.  

Emotionally intelligent individuals know how to apologise when they are wrong. If you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize  directly – don’t just ignore what you did or avoid the person even if you’re superior to the person.   

People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest attempt to make things right.  

To build your emotional intelligence, learn to take responsibility.   

4. Putting others first   

To build your emotional intelligence, you need to learn how to put others first. You need to always consider others before making certain decisions because whether we like it or not, our decisions affect others around us.  

Emotionally intelligent individuals think of the effects of their actions on themselves and others before taking such actions.  

To improve your emotional intelligence, you need to always examine how your actions will affect others – before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the action, how can you help others deal with the effects?  

Putting others into consideration before taking decisions helps you improve your emotional intelligence.   

5. Work on your attitude towards others  

How do you react to people, especially, those you don’t have a close relationship with or that are your subordinates? Are you a stereotype? Are judgmental, saucy or insulting?   

To improve your emotional intelligence, you need to really work on your attitude towards others. Take time out to honestly look at how you think and interact with other people. Ask people to give their sincere opinions on how you relate with others and be open to accepting criticism without getting angry.  

When you work on your attitude, your emotional intelligence improves.    

Work on improving your emotional intelligence because according to Daniel Goleman, “What really matters for success, character, happiness and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”  

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