Fatherly roles of a Muslim (II)

A Muslim should be trained in acceptable forms of human relations by the father. The child must be trained on the Ibadahtulahi of initiating cordiality with others as represented in the beautiful words of greeting ‘Assalamu Alaykum Warahmotullahi Warabakatuh’, and the child’s response when other Muslims wish him/her in like manner as ‘Walaykum Salaam Warahmotulahi Wabarakatuh’. A non-Muslim is equally treated with honour by the child.

Greeting is one true virtue that improves ties and bonds in the society, not only among the Ummah of Islam. The Prophet (SAW) mentioned that spreading of greetings on the surface of the earth is a good channel to entrench communal love and harmony, for Allah’s (SWT) shower of mercy on human race.

The Muslim child must be made to see clearly and take to the three-in-one prayer mode of Assalam Alaykum Warahmotullahi Wabarakatuh, wishing the fellow Muslim the peace of Allah, Allah’s best grade of mercy and grace and Allah’s greatest level of blessings on genuine endeavours. The importance of this is contextualised in Surah An-Nisa (Qur’an 4:86).

A dutiful father has the responsibility of making the child seek permission from anyone whose premises the child intends to visit. The child must be inculcated with these norms early in life before adulthood, before it is too late (Qur’an 27-28). The Muslim child must also learn protocols from his father, even in situations that involve checking into his/her parents’ personal spaces.

It is equally important for the father to impress on his children, the teaching of the Prophet (SAW) that a Muslim should always cast his/her gaze very low. It is in walking with low gaze that a Muslim may resist temptations that come into play through the machination of Shaitan (Iblis). A Muslim father must train his children to restrain their gazes and avoid anything that may allow their eyes to set on sights that may be obscene and sinful. In a particular authentic Hadith, the Prophet (SAW) emphasised to the Ummah that certain features of the body, namely the eyes, ears, the tongue and the hands, are also as evil as the individual whose features they are. This is because these body parts are prone to acts of evil from men and women.

Playing the role of a father in Islam is much of making oneself a close confidant of the children. A Muslim father should make himself a reliable friend in whom the child may confide, with certain events in the life of the child. This can happen based on the kind of upbringing such a child had. A Muslim father must be a listening father, a highly dutiful one, a father who has the necessary skills to be in control of the home, and at the same time an amiable one.

A role-playing father in Islam should also be vigilant. He has to be protective of the children. The children do not recognise safe and unsafe boundaries. The dutiful father should know. Therefore, the father watches out for his children against possible dangers. Prophet Yaaqub (AS) was protective of Prophet Yusuf (AS) and others. The Prophet was also fatherly with his son Yusuf (AS) as the latter laid bare his landmark dream to his father who was blessed with deep prophetic insights to interpret dreams appropriately. He went on to admonish Yusuf (AS) against revealing the dream to his other brothers (Qur’an 12:4-6). A good father should make his children realise in time that potential enemies abound within and without, and for the children to be well guarded and guided in life. In line with the aforementioned, the Muslim father may start to prophesise ambitious declarations and wishful thoughts and statements into the lives of his children for the unforeseen future.

Islam allows the father to nick-name his children as they grow up. He may use such nick-names as Doctor, Engineer, Grand Khadi, Mufti, Mufa’sir and Governor. Many are instances whereby children who bore some of these appellations in the past are truly leaders, movers and shakers of the society today.

An important lesson which could be drawn for a Muslim father in order for everyone to be guided is the fact that all children must be loved and pampered almost in the same manner. Although this may be difficult, a God-fearing Muslim father must strive to live aboveboard in this regard. Otherwise, monumental and deep-seated hatred may spring up among the siblings. The stories in the Noble Qur’an, Surah Yusuf, give credence.

Most important of all training which a good Muslim father is compelled to administer to the children is strong heeman. Children must be made to entrench in their consciousness the awesomeness of Allah (SWT). Almost in tandem with this is the duty of a father to ensure that the children are absolutely dutiful and kind at all times to their parents just as Allah (SWT) instructs the Muslims in Surah Luqman (Qur’an 31:14).

Other sundry roles of a Muslim father may include the following:

 

Such roles over the children while at home:

-Making sure that the children regularly observe solat at Subuhi, Dhur, Ashri, Moghrib and Ish’ai. It is mandatory for them to use the mosque, except in instances where none is sighted around.

-Attending the congregational Jumuah prayer on Fridays.

-Making them dedicate some of their time to reciting the Qur’an or listening to Qur’an recitation to discourage them from viewing and listening to weird music or watching films which corrupt the children.

-Having each of the three-square meals together as a family with all the children at the dining.

-Regulating the children’s access to smart phones and laptops in order to avoid abuse of these devices.

-Mete out appropriate punishment to children when necessary to instill discipline in them.

-Ensure that the children are fed with meals which are got from halal, not haram, sources.

-Separate the bedrooms of teenage, adolescent and adult children based on their genders.

 

Roles over the children while away from home:

-Making it a priority that children attend Islam-based schools at the elementary stages and colleges at adolescence as children are formed up at the point of entry into universities.

-Engaging the children in outdoor games and sports activities in order to make them sound in body and mind.

-Taking the children out to places of interest on tourism and excursions to mountains, seas, hills, falls, etc, to put them in awe of Allah’s (SWT) wonders.

-Facilitation of complete Qur’an memorisation for the children at Mahdirazat and Arabic centres.

-Granting approval to young adult children to embrace marital lives as encouraged in Islam for many obvious reasons.

-Insisting that children of marriageable ages must court marital partners from the Islamic faith.

-Disallowing the children from attending clubs, pubs, casinos, beauty pageants contests, etc.

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