Emotionally, physically abusive relationship charted my course into clarity coaching — Tolulope Ajayi

Tolulope Ajayi, is a serial entrepreneur, clarity coach, personal development trainer and author. With YEJIDE GBENGA-OGUNDARE, she speaks on the need for clarity, why women should not compare or compete, mentoring and finding balance amongst other issues.

You usually get introduced as a clarity coach amongst many other things, what is the significance of a clarity coach?

Oh yes, Clarity is an essential life tool that every person that desires to fulfil a purpose and make an impact must-have.

We live in a world where many people live directionless life. We believe solely in the power of trial and error, hence we keep moving from pillar to post trying everything that our hands find. Also, many people are living a life without purpose. Unfortunately, there is no one person or thing that God created without specific purposes, anyone who desires to live a fulfilling life must seek self-clarity, as this will lead them to a life of absolute bliss.

Clarity is simply having a clear lens through which appropriate judgements and decisions are made. There cannot be a lasting result when there is no clear definition of end results. And it is clarity that brings such a clear definition of end results. Every person must realise that his/her life is not an accident, there is a chart to blaze. And the discovery of that peculiar path is left to individuals. So, I help people attain this level of assuredness in whatever they do, assist them in making clear decisions and crafting their unique vision be it general life purpose, business, relationships and other areas of life.

What is the inspiration for your interest in clarity coaching and mentorship services for women?

I have always loved to teach, impact and help people. My desire was to finish my masters degree and then get a lecturing job where I can fulfil this teaching dream, I had also learned tailoring before my Master’s because of my desire to own fashion business when I got to OAU campus, I further enrolled with a PHD student who was also a fashion designer to polish my craft. Unfortunately, towards the end of my programme I got on a wrong path, where I was wasting away. I got on this path because I didn’t seek clarity on a major life decision. That wrong decision stalled me and made me lose several years. To be specific, I was in a relationship that was both physically and emotionally abusive. Getting off the hook of this wrong lane, I found clarity and my life has experienced an exponential rise since then. I have moved beyond my regrets and more so helped several other persons move beyond confusion into clarity and purposeful living. This is my motivation on this course and I am grateful for the number of people who have been impacted both directly and indirectly by my teachings.

What is a day in your professional life like?

I believe two words that will well define my typical day is hectic and fulfilling. I am an entrepreneur with a retail business, I consult as a coach and I also have an NGO by the side. This is obviously a very busy schedule but the fact that I enjoy what I do makes it all fulfilling. To go into brief details, I engage with coaching clients on a daily basis, sometimes via social media channels, emails, coaching calls and video conferencing software. I consult for businesses through my work as lead consultant in a consulting firm, I have physical sessions with some of my clients. On this same day, I also show up physically at my retail store to oversee activities. It’s always a full day filled with activities that bring absolute fulfilment.

As someone passionate about mentoring other women, how do you advance other women with skills?

Colourful Hope International is an NGO that I founded to support women not only in acquiring skills but also in getting capital to start business. This foundation has supported over 50 women in my local community to start a profiting business. I am a professional fashion designer and I have impacted this skill into many other women and young ladies at no cost. I also empower women with several lifesaving skills in aspects such as self-confidence, financial stability, purpose discovery and emotional intelligence.

How many women have you impacted in the course of your coaching and mentoring?

Many women have been impacted indirectly even with my social media posts, interviews and programmes that I have facilitated. But, to talk about direct coaching, I have impacted over two thousand women and young ladies. I have one channel of impact through my foundation, Colourful Hope International, another one is my coaching and Consulting organisation, Growth Heralds Consulting, and yet another is through my books, seminars, courses and social media posts. I often organise a conference in commemorating my birthday which often have hundreds of women in attendance.

What are the challenges that you have faced in the line of your chosen profession?

There are several challenges and they are particular to each of my expressions. As a clarity coach and personal development trainer, I have found out that many people don’t realise that they need clarity until they hit a roadblock. This had made it difficult in helping them embrace the message earlier which could have salvaged the messy situation they get into. With my NGO, support has been a challenge. There are loads of women out there in need of financial assistance to start or expand a business. I and my team often get several Save our Soul cries but have limited resources to meet them all. So, these are major setback in this line of profession.

As an author, how many books have you written?

I am the author of three bestselling books; ‘Clarity’, ‘Lady Before you’re 30’ and ‘How to Make More Money.’ I had my first degree from Crawford University where I studied Marketing, and a Masters of Science degree in Business Administration from Obafemi Awolowo University. I am the principal consultant at Growth Heralds Consulting, Founder of Colourful Hope International and Creative Director at Colourful Progress Collections.

You seem to be a very busy woman; how do you relax and maintain a balance to avoid burnout?

Prioritisation is a tool that can bring ease if well deployed. I have learned to put my health and family above what I do. This balance has always helped me to find time for other important aspects of my life before work. I relax with music, hangouts and short vacations. I also do have days when I go off the social media in every month to help me stay away from the boisterous noise out there. Work literally has no end, we must strive to have a mid-point in all of it.

What do you fear most in life?

My greatest fear is not to live the fullness of my inherent potential and to have regrets. This is why I take clarity as a very essential part of my journey. I’d rather tarry to make a decision than take a wrong one hastily that might cost me my emotional peace and life success. This is why I invest enough time and effort in gaining clarity on whatever I have to do. You must know that confusion is too costly for an adult to afford and so, invest in clarity.

What is your advice to other women?

My advice is simply that they should seek to discover that unique niche they have been crafted for and never lose focus on it. Women are a bundle of potentialities; we need to stop seeing ourselves as of inferior quality. The female gender is a blessing to the world and we must not believe less of this. Summarily, my advice to women are:

Seek clarity for whatever course you want to take in life. Women are more inclined to try out many things and this may result in little or no positive results. This is where the “Jack of all trades, master of none” comes in. It is then necessary that as women, we seek clarity first; this will ease our journey and guarantee success. That is why I wrote the book titled ‘CLARITY and God’ has used it to save many souls from error.

Every woman should ensure they have financial stability. This will guard against being trapped in bad relationships, toxic jobs and several other situations that seek to ground women. Financial stability will help women to be free from situations that are detrimental to their growth. My book ‘How to Make More Money’ is a goldmine for women who desires true and sustainable financial wellness.

Women are prone to compete and compare, these two are growth killers. As much as possible, women should seek to build a robust esteem and understanding of their individual journey. Also, emotional intelligence is an important game changer that every woman must have. These will forestall competition and comparison which often lead to bitterness and depression.

Are there women that inspire you in Nigeria or globally?

There are several women that inspire me, but I will mention a few of them; Mrs. Toyin Onigbanjo, Mrs. Morenike Ogunnowo , Ms. Oluwaseun Osimosu, Mrs. Debola Deji Kurumi, Pastor (Mrs) Tomi Adisa, and Mrs. Bunmi George.

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