Being a professional doesn’t automatically make you a good parent —Aruleba, author of Beauty in Ugliness

Seyi Aruleba, a finance expert, is the author of Beauty In Ugliness, a book which focuses on parent-child relationship rooted in personal experiences. In this interview with Yejide Gbenga-Ogundare, he speaks on the need to pay attention to the boy-child abuse, parenting, among other issues. Excerpts:

HOW do you create synergy between your career as a banking and finance expert and your passion for writing?

Generally, I like to write. I wrote songs as a child, but I couldn’t release this to the world because I didn’t have the courage to share the skills with my dad, who I lived with at the time. My book is not only about parenting but also making right choices and avoiding being influenced negatively. Being a banker is different from being a good parent. There are lots of bankers and professionals in other areas of expertise who have loads of knowledge and wisdom to share with the world, I hope they would not bury such rich resources that the world could benefit from as a result of the demand of their careers.

What is your book ‘Beauty in Ugliness’ all about?

The book is about me; the experiences I had while growing up, which revealed the importance of being a complete parent; the importance of choices for a young child; the impact of making good choices irrespective of the circumstances surrounding an individual; the importance of applying one’s life experiences in making positive impact in anything you are doing, and many more. The book is also aimed at cautioning parents about their behaviours at home, as their children take mental notes of these. Imagine me remembering things that happened between my parents as early as when I was seven years old? ‘Beauty in Ugliness’ is an eye opener and a transformational manual for parents and children.

You delved into the less talked-about narrative of male children abuse, can you expatiate on this?

A male child can be abused in several ways. Most times, parents pay more attention to the girl child. Except if such parent does not have a girl. A boy deserves attention as much as a girl. Just like a girl can be defiled, a boy can also be defiled. A boy child also deserves to be heard and respected at home just as the girl. Many male children are presently being abused sexually by adult females who are close to their families. These things are happening, so we should not assume all is well because they are male children. We should be vigilant and not just conclude that the male child would be fine. All hands must be on deck to guide and watch over them as keenly as we watch over the female child.

From your personal experience, what challenges would you say children face at home and how can these be curbed?

Children have choices; they have interests. Children have unique qualities which must be explored. Most times, parents feel (naturally) they know more than the children; parents impose, and tailor-make their children into what they (parent) want them to be. This is inappropriate. Some of the ways to curb abuses are; providing an enabling environment for the children to explore their qualities, help them nurture same into fulfillment. Parents should also be sensitive to their children’s needs, development and environment and converse with their children daily, bond with them regularly and be sensitive to their needs, parents should help their children get worthy mentors who will support their cause.

What is the inspiration for writing ‘Beauty in Ugliness’?

I grew up in a less-developed environment where academics was not really the main thing. I was close to many ‘area boys’ who had no enviable ambition. Yet, I decided to choose my path. I also did not enjoy the best of parental upbringing. I chose to see the negatives while growing up as things I must avoid to be a good parent and a fulfilled man. Today, I see a lot of young guys complaining about their situations and I see parents being abusive and breaking homes at will. All these have negative impacts on the children and the world at large. I want to use my book to forestall this and to awaken parents to see where they can make lasting adjustment for the sake of the overall wellbeing of their children.

What specific gap do you think your book will fill for parents?

Paying extra attention to children, paying equal attention to the boy child as most times, we tend to pay more attention to the girl child. Parents’ openness to their children is also sacrosanct, as well as being cautious of our dealings in children because they take mental note of activities in the presence of their parents.

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The PDP spokesman recalled how the opposition party had on various occasions alerted that the APC government had ceded sovereignty over a large portion of our country to terrorists, “many of whom were imported into our country by the APC.”

He further stated: “From the video, in a brazen manner, terrorists as non-state actors boldly showed their faces, boasting, admitting and confirming their participation in the Kuje Prison break, some of whom were former prison inmates who were either jailed or awaiting trial for their previous terrorism act against our country.

“Nigerians can equally recall the confession by the Governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Nasir el-Rufai that the APC government knows the plans and whereabouts of the terrorists but failed to act.

According to Ologunagba, about 18,000 Nigerians have been killed by terrorists between 2020 and 2022 “as the criminals continue to be emboldened by the failures and obvious complicity of the APC and to which the PDP had always drawn attention.”

“This is not politics; this is about humanity and leadership, which leadership sadly and unfortunately is missing in our country at this time,” he said.

The PDP added that it is appalled by “the lame response by the apparently helpless, clueless and deflated Buhari Presidency, wherein it told an agonizing nation that President Buhari “has done all and even more than what was expected of him as Commander in Chief by way of morale, material and equipment support to the military…”

“This is a direct admission of incapacity and failure by the Buhari Presidency and the APC. At such a time, in other climes, the President directly leads the charge and takes drastic measures to rescue and protect his citizens.

“In time of adversity, the President transmutes into Consoler-in-Chief to give hope and succour to the citizens. Painfully, Nigeria does not have a President who cares and can stand as Consoler-in-Chief to the citizens.

“It has now become very imperative for Nigerians to take note and realize that the only solution to this unfortunate situation is to hold the APC government accountable. We must come together as a people, irrespective of our political, ethnic and religious affiliations to resist the fascist-leaning tendencies of the APC administration.

Ologunagba called for an urgent meeting of the National Council of State to advise on the way to go over the nation’s worsening insecurity.

“Our nation must not fall. The resilient Nigerian spirit and ‘can-do- attitude’ must be rekindled by all to prevail on the President to immediately and without further delay, accede to the demand by the PDP and other well-meaning Nigerians to convene a special session of the National Council of State to find a lasting solution since the President has, in his own admission, come to his wit’s end,” the PDP spokesman declared.

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Yejide Gbenga-Ogundare