Becoming a respectable leader 1

By the time you read this, Nigerians would have gone to the polls to elect their leaders (President and national assembly members) at the national level for the next four years. No matter who or which party wins the presidential election, it is more important to remember that it is about our nationhood. We should therefore bury our differences and blur the partisan divides while rolling up our sleeves to rally round the winner as he gears up for the challenges of leading the nation for the next four years. The victory in the election is not that of an individual or a party. Nigeria is the winner. So I have no hesitation in saying, “Congratulations Nigeria”!

Now to today’s offering.

“Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king” – 1 Peter 2:17

The subject of respect is not one that features too regularly in contemporary books on leadership. Yet it is so important and perhaps so fundamental that it is probably easily assumed!

Respect can be defined as the act of holding someone or something in high esteem. Respect is not the same thing as a morbid fear of someone because of the position he occupies in authority over us and the attendant possibility of his sanctioning us for any infraction. Respect is an internal emotion that recognizes some intrinsic value in what or who we express it towards. In the real sense of it therefore, respect must be earned. It cannot be forced. Leaders who command respect do not need to harass their followers to follow instructions or use any level of highhandedness to whip them into line. Browbeating people to demand respect can make them give grudging compliance but it never commands their respect. Respect is first given before it can be earned. If you disrespect people, do not be surprised if you are disrespected in return. It is easy to express respect to those who are superior to us either by age or position. But the real test of esteem is when a leader commands it from his followers because he first extends it to them.

What are the qualities in a leader that make him respected by not only the people he leads but by everyone he has contact with, even if they do not necessarily see eye-to-eye with him? We will identify them in the acronym R.E.S.P.E.C.T.A.B.L.E. To be respected, a leader must show himself respectable.

Respectable leadership begins with Responsibility. An irresponsible leader is a danger to himself and the people he leads. Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, defines responsibility as “response-ability”. This has to do with a leader being in control of his emotions in a way that enables him to intentionally and intelligently respond to situations rather than knee-jerk reactions that may compound the problem further. The blame game is the most convenient way for most people to deal with problems. We find it very convenient to repudiate responsibility when we can find someone or a circumstance to blame for our challenges. Our parents, our environment, our background, our employees, the government, the economy and any other thing or person apart from ourselves are convenient dumpsites for our woes and shortcomings. And once we can find someone to blame, we believe we are fine.

Great leaders embrace the mantra, “if it’s going to be, it’s up to me” whole-heartedly. Instead of locking themselves up in the prison of past experiences or what someone did to them, when they are confronted with challenges, including those caused by the misdemeanor of others, they quickly repair from the despair, roll up their sleeves and do the needful because they live with an abiding conviction that the buck stops at their desk. To earn respect, a leader must therefore take ownership of his thoughts and feelings. According to the Holy Bible, a man that is able to control his emotions is stronger than a man who overruns a city! He must also be able to take responsibility for the words that he speaks. As products of thought, words are powerful and every leader must imbibe the biblical injunction that words carry the power of life and death and that a man is ensnared by the words of his mouth. Jesus Christ told His disciples that every man is either justified or condemned by the words that come out of his mouth. Impactful leaders measure their words by the results they desire to get from speaking them. Furthermore, the leader must take responsibility for his actions. Consequently, he is able to lead by example by going the way before showing the way to others. This is why the Bible talks about what Jesus began to DO and to TEACH. The doing came before the teaching.

A respectable leader should be ENGAGING. Nobody can deliver the goods if his heart is heavier than the load. A disconnected leader will raise disconnected followers. Leaders who have mastered the art of engaged connections will lead by influence rather than by status. The way a leader treats people will show his real persona. And long after they may have forgotten the details of their transactions with you, they will never forget how you made them feel. The way a leader makes the people around him feel is indicative of what they will reflect to him and to the collective outcome. When a leader treats his subordinates as incompetent, they will turn out to be incompetent. People are the custodians of an organization’s success. A leader must recognize that before money and machines come manpower. A leader who treats his followers as expendable appendages of a system will never attract committed and loyal followership.

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The strength of any team is in the synergy generated by every member of that team, from the least to the highest in the hierarchy. If not for anything, a leader must celebrate each of his team members for the value they bring to the table. Nobody finds meaningful engagement with a leader who is quicker to identify, criticize and judge his foibles him than he is to recognizing and commending good performance. Everyone loves the sound of his own name, especially when mentioned in positive circumstances by a superior. An engaged leader makes it his duty therefore to remember names, not only of his followers but those of their family members. When a leader can share precious moments, meals, applause and recognition with his followers, he passes across a message of sincerity that earns him his followers’ respect.

The capacity for engagement was the distinguishing factor between the response of the common people to Jesus, whose teachings and presentation resonated with the people, and their response to the Pharisees who were purveyors of empty religion and its stifling rote. The scriptures clearly teach that the common people heard Him gladly, a fact that riled the Pharisees’ nerves to no end that they began to envy Jesus and eventually resolved to kill Him because, according to them, the whole world had gone after Him!….continued

Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!