Yoruba congratulatory message and gender sensitivity

FOR many women, conceiving a child and giving birth nine months later is a wonderful experience. The journey in the labour room, to many, is seen as a path between the world beyond and the cheer of E ku ewu omo (transl.: Congratulations on safe delivery). People troop in to cheer up the family for the successful delivery while trying to ask the sex of the child Greetings in Yoruba are not mere statutory word but a deep, to the traditional formation that many think you have an evil inclination if such words are not said during the delivery of a child. Even when you fail in doing it, your attention is called to the fact that such have happened. However, the sequential line of the greeting that follows after child birth seems eroding as a result of gender sensitivity or equality and also the tilt that exists in the appreciation of one sex over the other. “Eku ewu Omo, Se Okunrin ni abi Obinrin?” ( Congratulations on safe delivery, is the child a boy or girl?) is the question that follows after this greeting. This does not sound palatable to many people who see this statement as gender sensitive or bias. Many derogatorily reply: “Ewo ni’ okin s’omo?” (Which is not a child?) just to show their dissatisfaction towards the question.

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Many ask: why ask the sex of my child? The question may sound sentimental. For many people, it creates a sarcastic atmosphere as regard the sex of the child, which when is a boy, you get an applause. However, when it is a girl, the response is: you allowed your wife to win you in the race of your child’s birth.  African, nay Nigerian ethnic groups are generally gender sensitive. They usually favour of one sex over the other, mostly in favour of the male child. There is no gainsaying that this is a status quo that has being fought by some quarters in seeing that all children are appreciated not minding their sex. Literatures, art movements and even the United Nation Sustainable Development Goal 5 aimed at 2030 are in strong support of the gender balance and appreciation. Traditionally, it is unacceptable not to welcome the birth of a new-born baby. However, the problem is the unsettling question that follows – what is the sex of the child?  This beg question: who is gender bias?

However, to create a balance, it is highly appreciated to welcome the birth of a new born baby not minding the sex. If not for anything, for process the woman goes through during child birth.  Nine months of pregnancy and later labour are not palatable experiences and success thereof is worth appreciating. Mood swing, morning sickness, loss of appetite and even the screaming in the labour room are not experiences that ought to be trivialised into gender discrimination. Truly, it worth the cheers and the need to congratulate the family, husband or wife Eku ewu omo.  These words are our tradition and part of us which should not be eroded. We see the phrase “Se Okunrin ni abi Obinrin?” as gender sensitive, but we should rather create a balance on how we value our language and its usage especially in sensitive issues dealing with gender or the sex of a child.

Questioning a child’s sex should not be a big deal. If one accepts the congratulatory message, one should be ready to accept the questioning of the child’s sex. Pure-hearted response should be the best in settling the tension, and this could be done through appreciating whatsoever the sex is and how valuable the child is to the family and the society. However, this might seem like a soft power but it is a conscious effort that would go a long way in setting the frame of gender balance and appreciation. When it comes to child birth, congratulatory messages and questioning the child’s sex should complement each other.

Responses got from this question shows that many are trying to see the questioning of a child’s sex removed from the status quo of congratulatory messages. This is a request influenced by cultural juxtaposition of accepting every child not minding their sex as opposed to what exist in the past, where the male child is appreciated over the female child. This notion is not easy to accept by some people trying to congratulate families who just welcomed their new babies.

In conclusion, the adoption of the congratulatory message without questioning of the sex of a child immediately after birth is tantamount to the degradation of our culture because of the fear of an inclined gender sensationalism that exist in the society when we ask the question “Se Okunrin ni abi Obinrin?”

• Oso is a National Youth Service Corps member working with the Nigerian Tribune