Would you marry someone who kisses and tells?

Kiss and tell has different meanings to different people. It is the act of telling, to some details, romantic or sexual intimacy to a third party.  It also implies betrayal of confidence in keeping intimate secrets. Intriguingly, this act is becoming rampant among both genders in a relationship. It is either men are sharing their bed experiences or women are bragging about their partners’ sexual prowess to third parties. This might be embarrassing when the victim finds out. Therefore, before taking a leap into marriage, would you marry someone who kisses and tell?

On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert said on this issue:

Jimoh Balikees

It depends on the rate at which he tells. If he says things, such as when we copulate, when he gives me money, when we go out together or when he buys things for me, I do not think I could cope with someone like that.

Elizabeth Offinni

Some guys are fond of doing such. But, I think such a guy does not love the day, he is only pretending. If I found out that he is such a person, I cannot marry him at all.

Bukola Smith

I would not marry such a man. He would ruin the marriage. No one has a problem when sweet memories are shared.  When a partner lacks discretion, nothing built in that relationship could stand.

Bolaji Bakare

I think we all have people we share our ups and downs with, marriage inclusive.  We share intimate lives with our spiritual fathers or mentors or some professionals. So, it should not be a big deal.

Toyin Bejide

No, I cannot deal with that. That person is obviously not matured. The person is still a child, and marrying a child these days is like putting more fire on a hot coal.

Kunle Adewusi

I really do not have an issue with it as a guy. It is actually women who have issues with their guys ‘Kissing and telling’. Though it is bad anyway, it should be between you and your partner. It should not to be discussed with a third party.

Kunle Ajamu

I believe that is a sign of immaturity. If you truly love a woman, you do not need to tell such things, no matter how close you are to a friend. You do not need to discuss such with anybody. You cannot tell what tomorrow holds. If later you got married to that same woman, your friends would have different intentions each time they see your wife. I hate it. I do not do such.

Bamidele Segun

It depends on how much he tells. For someone like me, I play a lot. Sometimes, I do not know when I cross the boundary. I do not kiss and tell. But I could emphasise and explain using free personal experiences.

Dorcas Adeyanju

For a man who kisses and tells, that is a ‘No.’ Such a man cannot be trusted. I cannot trust someone like that with my life, with my secret. So, I would not marry someone who kisses and tells.

Akinolu Oluyemi

Immature men do that. A responsible man would never ever try that, even when they are not married. If the lady finds out, she ought to examine her future with the man. With the man saying those things out, it means he could expose more hidden secrets that should have been protected about his family to outsiders.

Oladipo Olaoye

Kiss and tell? Nobody wants to be insecure in relationships. Your partner wants to be safe, knowing their secrets are safe. Sometimes during counselling, when topics like sex comes up, one might want to revive one or two details. In conclusion, no one wants a kiss and tell partner. But, exception could be made sometimes.

EXPERT SPEAKS

David Olowoleye, a communicator, is our expert on this matte said everyone does it. What we should try and ascertain is: To what extent? Why is he/she telling? Who is he/she telling it to? It might interest you to know that not everyone says it to attract some credit to self.  Sometimes we just want to share some of our private lives with some intimate friends. Unfortunately, these friends might be your doom. They suddenly turned themselves to an outside broadcasting Service. Howbeit, it is not always intentional.

Here is the breakdown: You have a best friend, who has a best friend. This best friend’s best friend has his/her own best friend too.  And if you would agree with me, the devil is always pushing us to share information that ends with ‘please don’t tell anyone’. In a nutshell, we are all guilty. But, the extent to which we are guilty is a decider to accepting such. Thus, if you think you could bear such, it is best to improve communication with your spouse in seeing that he/she understands your stance—what is secret and why it is best kept secret. Communication would go a long way before saying, ‘I do.’

Letter from my reader

Dear Olasunkanmi,

I need advice from the readers of your column on an issue pertinent to my life. The ladies I have dated have refused to agree on my marriage proposals despite my investments on them. I am currently in a relationship at the moment, but I am afraid what it might result to. I am confused. What can I do to have a lasting relationship? Thanks.

Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Would you set a standard for your partner based on traits from other couples?

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