Women’ll make better political leaders —Mrs Matilda Ladigbolu

Soft-spoken, gentle and amiable, Mrs Matilda Abosede Ladigbolu, wife of Archbishop Ayo Ladigbolu of the Methodist Church Nigeria (MCN), shares with Rita Okonoboh, her life experiences, what it takes to succeed as the wife of a cleric, why she thinks women can be better political leaders, among other issues. Excerpts:

How do you feel clocking 80?

I feel very very happy. Clocking 80 has been by God’s grace.

What was growing up like?

I was born in Eyinwa in Odogbolu Local Government Area of Ijebuland on march 27, 1937. I had my early education at Eyinwa, Ibefun, Ijebu Ode and Sagamu. I later trained as a nurse/midwife at the Wesley guild Hospital, Ikole-Ekiti. In the tradition of Wesley guild Hospital, the best graduating student was always offered automatic employment, but they are deployed to serve as missionary nurses in remote communities. I was therefore posted to the Borgu mission of the MCN at the Methodist Maternity Cantre, Kalama, Kwara State. It was while there I met my husband. Usually, those posted spent three months after which they left. However, when I was posted, I ended up spending three years and three months. We met while there and our relationship became more of a partnership of preaching, outreach, soul winning and healthcare delivery.

I later worked as matron at Alafia Hospital, Ibadan before travelling with my husband to the United States of America where I had further clinical training. This was in Dallas, Texas, between 1975 and 1976. After returning to Nigeria in 1977, and rose to the position of senior matron before I voluntarily resigned to devote myself to the home and assisting my husband fully in the ministry.

When you were growing up, did you ever imagine you would marry a cleric?

Well, I never thought I would marry a cleric. At Wesley Guild Hospital, where I received my training, the way we were trained, it didn’t matter what denomination a person belonged to. The important thing was that we were serving God. In fact, I was happy to meet someone like him.

What memorable time was particularly trying for you?

The only time I remember in particular was when we were transferred to Ifaki-Ekiti. I’m not sure if it was the change in environment but I was really ill. In fact, for three years when we were there, I wasn’t myself. What made it all the more troubling was that it was a time when my husband was just elevated. I was in my 40s at that time. We didn’t really understand why I had to be ill at that time. However, my husband was very supportive and we thank God for my life today.

What are you most grateful to God for at 80?

I am most grateful for having a loving family. There has never been a time I regretted marrying my husband. Even when we have misunderstanding, in few minutes, we have sorted it out. When we were posted to Ifaki-Ekiti, I voluntarily retired from my job at the time. I decided to focus instead on supporting my husband in the ministry. At that time, the salary of a bishop was far below what many people would imagine. However, even in that situation, we were very happy.

What is the greatest lesson life has taught you?

Life has taught me that when a family prioritises love, whether there is money or not, things will go well and there will be happiness.

There is the notion that women are more spiritual than men. With your experience as a cleric’s wife, having held leadership positions featuring women, what is your take on this?

I think I agree. I believe that women work more than men, in the sense that women care for their husbands, children, get pregnant, care for the home, and work too. So, whenever, there are challenges, you see women on their knees, seeking divine intervention. For instance, at revivals, you would find more women than men. Even when it is the husband that has challenges, the woman never sits and folds her hands. She seeks God’s face believing that her prayers would be answered.

Do you think women would do better in political positions?

I think women would do better as political leaders because of their innate loving and caring nature. They prioritise service and that is what is important for good leadership.

So, you think Nigeria can work with a female president?

Well, you know the men are selfish [laughs]. They may not let the woman rise to such position. However, there is nothing wrong with a woman leading the country.

How would you advise clerics’ wives on helping their husbands to move the ministry forward?

I would advise them to support their husbands fully. They should support them not just with prayers but physically too. They need to be hardworking and show willingness to support their husbands. They should know that they hold an important position as clerics’ wives. This extends even to those who aren’t pastors’ wives. Being a cleric’s wife requires understanding and hospitality too, because a cleric’s house should always be welcoming.

At 80, what would you say is your greatest regret?

Hmm… Do I have regrets? I don’t think I have any regret. Life is full of ups and downs, but I have no regrets.

The spate of divorce is increasing and some people have said more women are becoming impatient in marriages, opting to leave when the going gets tough. With your years of experience as a married woman, how would you advise women on making their marriages work?

If we want the country to develop, we need to make marriages work. To keep marriages, I would advise women to imbibe love, tolerance, submission and respect. The most important of everything is that they love their husbands, and by extension, their families, as the marriage vows state – for richer, poorer, sickness, health….

What are some of your achievements as a founding member and trustee of New Generation Foundation for the Disabled and Newhope Global Associates?

The organisation is focused on providing support for persons living with HIV/AIDS with their dependants as well as the disabled. We have provided assistance for even children of people living with HIV/AIDS, including sponsoring some of their dependants to get quality education. When we were in Ilesa, I collaborated with my husband to provide initial funding for the Methodist Care and Support project for orphans, widows and people living with HIV/AIDS. The project has attracted funding from government agencies in the United States as well as the Osun State government. The Ebenezer Foundation, which was invited by the Ladigbolus, still provides support for the Methodist Care and Support initiative in Ilesa diocese till date. We also featured a similar initiative in Oyo State, with the support of the state hospital.

As the wife of the archbishop, you led many women organisations. How easy was it to cope with different women?

It wasn’t easy but by the grace of God, it was possible. I also had the experience to meet with many women as my husband was promoted in the ministry. As an archbishop’s wife, for instance, when we were in Ilesa, we had about six dioceses under the archdiocese of Ilesa, and the bishops of these dioceses also had wives who were also in charge of various women organisations. When we organised meetings, seminars, lectures and other programmes, by the spirit of understanding, things usually worked out.

Would you want your daughter to marry a cleric?

Why not? It’s good. I taught the ministers’ wives a song. We usually use it to inspire newly wedded ministers’ wives. The song is also used to inspire them to take advantage of the rare opportunity to marry a cleric and reap the benefits and blessings that come with such positions.

The problem of care for the elderly, on a large scale, has not been addressed in the country. Pensioners face difficulties enjoying their life in retirement and it is not uncommon to see old people roam the streets after being abandoned by their wards. How would you advise government and churches to make a positive difference?

Government must take the issue of pension very serious. Care for the elderly should be a priority. When such elderly people go hungry, they can fall sick and this could result in premature death. That is very sad. Even pensioners, when they queue for their benefits, sometimes collapse, and some of them die. That is wrong. These people have worked for these benefits and should not suffer before reaping the dividends of their labour. As such, I would advise government to live up to its responsibility of caring for the elderly.

For the church, I would say they are trying. At the MCN for instance, there is something referred to as Relief Fund. At the end of the month, retirees, widows, widowers and the elderly receive materials that will cater to their welfare from the Relief Fund. Such support also extends to their wards when it so happens that they cannot cater to their needs, and the church sponsors the education of such persons. The church is really trying in its efforts.