‘Women should respect and love their husbands’

Mrs Comfort Morenike Sowale is the wife of Right Reverend Olubayo Sowale, Bishop of Ilesha Anglican Diocese, Osun State, and the president, Ilesa Diocesan Women’s Organisation. In this interview by OLAIDE SOKOYA, she speaks on her background and marriage.

You were raised as a child in a polygamous home. What are those lessons you learnt from your parents which you have inculcated in your children?

I learnt a lot from my parents, especially my mother. She was hardworking, holy and trustworthy. She wouldn’t condone any unlawful act and would call a spade a spade. When we were young, each mother would take her children to various places for prayers for spiritual security against evil. My father was an Anglican to the core but, our mothers would go to all these white garment churches and different mountains for prayers and fasting just because they wanted to secure the lives of their children. My mother taught me the efficacy of prayer. Though my mother didn’t know how to read and write, she was nevertheless knowledgeable.

How would you describe your husband?

My husband is Right Reverend (Dr) Olubayo Sowale, the Bishop of the Church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion, Ilesa Diocese, Osun State. He is a man of his words; very conservative and gentle, while I love to move with people and have them around me due to my polygamous background. My husband always admonishes me to be careful, due to the position he holds as a bishop. I met my husband at Iragbiji, (now in) Osun State in 1977. He was posted to my church as a priest while I was the church’s Sunday school teacher and a choir member. One thing led to another, he saw me and here we are today.

Can you tell us how he proposed to you as a priest?

He came out straight and told me that he wanted to marry me. However, in order not to look cheap, I told him I would think about it. Then, no Ijesa parents would allow their children to marry from Ogun State, so I knew it was going to be a huge task convincing my mother about our relationship. But after much pressure, my parents agreed that I marry him. This I believe was as a result of our fervent prayers. We got married and today, we are blessed with beautiful and God-fearing children.

Do you agree that couples should operate joint accounts?

It’s not a bad idea for couples to operate joint accounts but, I don’t buy into it.  What if the woman wants to carry out something personal, does it mean she would have to wait for the husband to give her a go-ahead? When a family runs a common purse or joint account, one will be a slave to the other when there is no free access to the account. If care is not taken, this can lead to a disagreement capable of tearing the family apart. I think a couple can have a common purse where they can put a percentage of their income, either monthly or yearly, and  can easily take out of it, based on agreement or mutual understanding of both parties.

Do you still cook as a bishop’s wife?

I don’t allow anyone to prepare my husband’s food. I love cooking and I make sure he eats good food all the time.

You have a good sense of fashion. What does fashion mean to you?

Fashion is anything simple, classy and comfortable. A woman must be fashionable but, this must be in moderation. Your style or outlook tells people who you are.

Do you have any favourite colour?

The colour I can’t do without is purple, since my husband is a bishop. In the Anglican setting, purple is the colour for the bishop and his wife. A priest’s wife can use other colours, except purple.

What advice do you have for women?

Women should respect and love their husbands. Women, who are looking for liberation, are deceiving themselves, because women are not under bondage. It is now common having some women say they want liberation. Liberation from what? Since we are not caged, why are we looking for liberation? The only thing we need as women is to respect our husbands. In the olden days, whenever our mothers wanted to set the table for their husbands, they would kneel down whether their husbands were there or not. But no woman would do that now. Let us come back to the drawing board, men are the heads of the home and they are the heads of their wives, whether we like it or not and we must honour them.