Woman returns husband’s N20 dowry, says “My husband’s culture is full of taboos; he beats me till I bleed, draws knife at me”

A thirty-year-old marriage between a woman, Janet Okupgo and her husband, Johnson Okupgo has been dissolved by Oja Oba/ Mapo Court C Customary Court, Mapo, Ibadan, Oyo State.

Janet had brought a divorce suit against her husband alleging that he was troublesome, a drunk and in the habit of beating her at every opportunity. She added that he always insisted she appeased his village deities any time she committed an offence regarded as a taboo in his village.

Janet told the court she was tired of such a lifestyle and therefore prayed the court to end their union so that she could move on with her life.

Johnson who had earlier rejected his wife’s divorce plea later acceded to it.

Janet relaying her experience in her marriage told the court:”My lord, I’m tired of staying married to a drunk and a brutish fellow.

“He loses his bearing when he’s drunk and beats me to a pulp. He does this almost every day.

“I wake up as early as 5:00 a.m. to attend to him and the children before they leave for school and work. I then open my shop for the business of the day. Despite waking up that early, my husband still expects that I have the shop opened till he returns home around 11:00 p.m.

“He returns home everyday drunk. When he is in this state, he loses his bearing and raises dust over trivial issues. He shouts and pounces on me, beating me to a pulp.

“He once beat me so much that I bled from the inside. It was my brother in-law who carried me on his back to the hospital because I couldn’t stand up or walk.

“There was a day we fought and he almost stabbed me with a knife. I would have been a dead man by now but for our neighbours who came to my rescue.

“I have moved out of his house thrice because of his constant beatings but my family members would always insist I go back to him.

“We started our marriage from the scratch. We had little or nothing. But gradually, we were able to make ends meet.

“He once made some meaningful amount on his job and decided he wanted to buy a car. I advised him to buy a piece of land on which we can later erect a building. Rather than listen to me, he took counsel from his friends who never wished him well.  He bought a car which he didn’t use up to a year before he wrecked it.

“Since then he has been accusing me of standing against his progress and pulling him down. He indicted me of using diabolic means to stop his other wives from having children, “she stated.

“My lord, he calls himself a Christian but has refused to go to church. He will always insist I appease his family deities any time he accuses me of committing an offence he regards as a taboo in his village. I act and talk in fear because his culture is attached to many taboos.

“He believes I’m dating every male customer I’m talking to. He will state it’s a taboo and will order me to carry out a sacrifice.

• My wife has another husband aside me —Husband

“Our 25-year-old son took ill after I moved out of his house after beating me blue black. He kept this from me and when I learnt about it, he barred me from seeing him. He refused to provide money for his medical attention. It was my elder sister and her husband who came to our son’s aid. They rushed him to the hospital and made fund available for his treatment. My husband was on many occasions drinking himself to stupour during this period. We eventually lost our son.

“He accused my elder sister and uncle of encouraging me to stay away from him and went to their work place to fight them.

“He has never ceased raining curses on me while he also forbade our children from checking on me. He threatened to curse them if they ever did.

“My lord, I live in fear everyday because my husband is always threatening to deal with me. I earnestly pray that this honourable court separate us today, “Janet concluded.

“My lord, I don’t want to divorce my wife, but if she’s insisting on having her way, then let it be.

“But my lord, I must add that since she’s the one asking for divorce she must carry out a rite in line with our tradition in my village. She must return the N150 dowry I paid on her. Out of this amount was the other expenses I incured in preparation for our marriage and the N35, 000  I gave her to start a business. She must return this money in the presence of her family members and mine. After she’s done this I will bless her, “Johnson told the court.

“All that my wife said about me are lies. She said all to win the court’s favour.

“My wife was well behaved when we got married while we quarreled like any other couple.

“I had good parents’ in-laws who always saw to it that our marriage worked but my wife’s siblings are my problem. They hate me and always advised her against me.

“I participated in my in-law’s burial as was expected of me and did likewise during the wedding ceremonies of my wife’s nieces and nephews.

“We started having problems when I lost my job and didn’t have much money on me. But even then I still did all I could to meet my family’s need. I got a shop for her to run her business and gave her N35, 000 to stock her shop with goods.

“We never quarreled or fought the day she moved out of my house. We ate together, slept and had good sex the night before she packed out.

“My wife never showed up all the time our son was sick.  She came a few hours before he died and was shedding crocodile tears after the deed had been done,   ”the plaintiff added.

“My lord, I’m now 63 years old; it will be difficult getting a young wife who will be faithful, committed and dependable like my former wife if you separate us, “he concluded.

Giving his judgment after listening to both parties, the court president, Chief Ademola Odunade stated that it was essential that the couple be separated since their union was  filled with violence.

Ruling, Odunade dissolved their marriage and asked the plaintiff to pay back to the defendant the amount of N20 as dowry in line with the customary court rules.

Both parties were advised to maintain peace.