Why white girls always ran after us in England in the 50s —Bembe

Layi Ajayi Bembe, an indigene of Lagos State and also an applied geophysicist with asset evaluation and field development plan experience, he speaks on his growing up, among others, in this interview with SEGUN KASALI and SYLVESTER OKORUWA. Excerpts:

Can you tell us about your growing up? 

Well, I grew up in Lagos. Both of my parents are from Lagos. By the way, my name is Layi Ajayi Bembe. My father’s side is the Obanikoro of Lagos, while my mother’s side is the Gbajabiamilas of the Olowogbowo area. While growing up in Lagos then, the thing we knew was that you must have your education-go to school, do your homework and we take pride in going to school. Fortunately or unfortunately, there was only one university in the country and that was the University of Ibadan. Ibadan was then the campus of Cambridge University. We had College of Tech. We had College of Arts, Science and Tech, one in Ibadan, one in Enugu and one in Zaria. I think the Nigerian College of Arts, Science and Tech became University of Ife. The Enugu campus became Nsukka University and the Zaria’s became Ahmadu Bello University. When we were growing up, we didn’t have any other thing to do than just to go to school.

How convenient then was the paying of school fees?

It all depends on who your parents are. On our own side, we didn’t experience difficulty in the payment of school fees and, again, Nigeria then was virtually the colony of Lagos. We had the East, West and the North. Most educated people were in the West. I don’t know about who can pay school fees or who cannot pay school fees. That wasn’t an issue then. My father never called me and said I cannot pay your school fees.

Looking at the West, education was number one. Fortunately, [Chief Obafemi] Awolowo started this free education. So, the question of looking for money to pay school fees was not there. As long as you had a uniform to wear to school and the uniform is just like what the soldiers wear nowadays. It was khaki and it took time to get spoilt. But it didn’t stop you from going to play football and all those things.

• I’ll restore Lagos lost glory, deliver it from its stranglehold ― Jimi Agbaje

And again, when Awolowo introduced free primary school, it was free. So, you cannot complain of the payment of school fees. I think S.O. Akinsanya, if I can remember, was the minister of education then. So, as a young man, I don’t know much about what went on in the East or North. But in the West, in particular, we had no problem.

How was the primary school experience?

The primary school experience was quite interesting because again you had rules and regulations and the Headmaster was the boss. Then, you had the teachers. You had to comply with the rules and regulations. Discipline was there.

How much of this experience did you enjoy?

Put it this way, I enjoyed every day of my life in the primary school and some of the friends that we made during that period are still together till today and every one of us came out very well either in secondary school or in the tertiary institution.

Could you mention the names of these friends of yours?

Oh! The ones I can remember that we started school in 1947 is Prince Tola Sotinwa, Alex Solanke and so many others. They are all doing well. Unfortunately, you don’t see them in the political scenes because they are all professionals. I did Electrical Engineering. Sotinwa is a Chartered Accountant and none of us ventured into politics. Politicians were reliable then. If they tell you that they would do this, they would do it. Not this bunch of politicians that we have now.

We know similarity attracts. What brought you and your friends so close that you are still together till today?

We started primary school together and we are still friends till today. Looking back, you will find out that there was something we called the straight education. We started from the primary school, went straight to secondary school- Ansar-Ud-Deen College, Kings College, CMS Grammar School. From there, you do your examinations and once your result comes in and then you go to the university. There was only one university then which was not offering Engineering but Mathematics. Somehow or the other, we found ourselves on the way to England. We left for England about the same time. It’s a question of, the result came and you did well. When the HSC result came too, you did well. And then, your parents again knew what they wanted from you. I am talking about friendship of up to 70 years now. I discovered that they came from a very discipline home. Tola came from the house where the mother was a teacher and the father a headmaster. Ayo came from a home where the father was highly educated. I came from a home where my father was highly educated too. They knew what education means as of that time.

How were your childhood experience in Lagos? 

Oh! In Lagos, you cannot count all the experiences you had. As children, we enjoyed ourselves in the swimming pool even though your parents warned you not to go to swim. At this time, I was about 7 or 8 years old. Don’t make this mistake. If you come from Lagos and your house is not far from the lagoon, you would have to swim for one reason or the other. One day, they will just push you into the lagoon and you struggle to come out. By the time you come out two or three times, you will know how to swim. Well, you either do some fishing or you are swimming. Even though your parents would just warn you to be careful. That is the thing. Generally, you were either playing football or tennis at the race course, and we had a football field at Onikan stadium. There was also a swimming pool. So, these were the things you engaged yourself with in Lagos at that time.

Was there any mishap you that happened while swimming in the pool in those days?

If I am to base it on what I witnessed, yes. There were some accidents where someone would go up the ladder of the pool and dive with his head coming down into the waters. But the real truth is that you always have your attendants there, who are very strict and disciplined. Don’t forget that you are talking about pre-independence day. I can’t remember any of my friends getting drowned, wounded or something. Then there were some people who would charter a boat and go to Kuramo waters and the boat got capsized. We heard of it but they may not be your friends. So, accidents happened then, just like they do now.

Most times, you go from school with your friends to the pool side. Was there any time your parents caught you in this act?

Of course, several times. I didn’t tell you this. One of my uncles knew how to catch us when we were young. He would just lurk around and, luckily, he was one of the people that had cars in Lagos. He would just stop by your side and asked you to come in. The three of us had been caught like that before, several times. Instead of driving us to where we were staying, he would drive us to his house and say look at yourself in the mirror. By the time you look at yourself in the mirror and apart from the fact that you are dirty coming out from the pool, he would now tell you if you do this next time I would do this, this and that. Again, discipline was there and you could take about six lashes. They would go back to the school to report you. After picking you up, he would take you back to the school and say after leaving the school, they were playing football or swimming. Of course, you would be ready to take some lashes. Sometimes, they just forget it. But you see, you try as much as possible not to go on the wrong side of the law. But the youth then were fantastic. There was discipline and you were always very careful not to get caught.

What was the reaction of your parents when they heard you were doing this?

What I am trying to say is that everybody is like your parents. There was no difference between your uncle and your father. So, he takes responsibility as your father. In those days, your aunty is your mother. So, discipline was there. He doesn’t need to report you to your parents because he could punish you. He could punish me himself. He never reported me to my parents. Fortunately for me, my uncle was older than my father. In fact, when things go wrong, it is my uncle that they are going to report to. Family was fantastic as at that time. Somebody would be there and everyone respects him so much.

Are there nicknames the three of you call yourselves?

Put it this way, I was born and brought up in Lagos Island. I don’t cross the bridge and I never knew Ikorodu until I went to England and came back. So, friends from Ibadan and the like always say ‘Lagos Boy’. So, they tend to call you Lagos boy. My name is Layi Ajayi Bembe and they say ‘Good-o-Lai’. Then, we called Ayo, Ayus and Sotinwa is Prince, because his father was king then.

So, you were the big boys during those times?

There was nothing like big boy then. I can’t remember anybody calling me big boy. I think the discipline was there. You don’t even want people to know that someone was calling you a nickname.

So, transiting from primary school to secondary; how was it?

I went to Ansar-Ud-Deen College. There was not so much experience there. Unfortunately, the only thing I can remember was that I am mixed in the sense that my father’s mother was a Muslim and my father is a Christian. She was happy I am going to a Muslim school. There was a time they asked me of my Muslim name, which I don’t always remember and I don’t even have and the man would say go back and ask your parents and let me know your Muslim name. The question of religion was not as bad as this because you hardly know who is a Christian or who is a Muslim.

So, you were not doing the boyfriend and the girlfriend thing while in secondary school?

I did not. All I knew was that I did not get married until I graduated. Particularly, when you came from a family where you were the only boy with four sisters. What are you looking for? During our own period, the girls too were busy. They were just coming up and they don’t want to disappoint their parents. It depends on what you mean by girlfriends. The friends of my sisters are my friends and I won’t say this is a particular girlfriend that I have. Like I told you, the girls at that time were busy. When you meet, you meet on social basis. But there was nothing more to that. I can’t really talk about something I don’t really know. The fact remains that this issue is minor. You have a goal and you don’t want to deviate. If you get involved with a girl and she became pregnant, that could be the end of your career. So, we were always afraid to cross that line. I used to tell my children that nobody needs to tell you not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but you will know when the time comes. It was not as permissive as it is today.

How was Lagos during your time; were there gang wars as we now have nowadays? 

During my period, there were few secondary schools in Lagos. The population of Lagos was not as large. The areas were well defined. We had the Olowogbowo area. You had Lafiaji area and so many others. We tended to know each other. You see, when people say Isale- Eko, for instance, we knew ourselves (a mo ra wa). So, I cannot think about a situation where there is a gang in an area going to meet another gang and causing a conflict. There was nothing of such.

What about the nightlife?

Nightlife was not as wild as it is now. We had what was called Abalabi dance, which was the group of performers, singers, drummers and so on. They would be coming out one at a time to perform and the elderly would go round to dance. I wouldn’t  say Abalabi dance happened every night, maybe once or twice in a month. It wasn’t as bad as it is now. That was around 1946, 47 up till 1959 that I went to England.

How much of this nightlife did you enjoy?

It is not that I didn’t enjoy. As I told you, I used to play football. I broke my legs several times and I wouldn’t even tell them at home that I broke my legs. When we were playing ball, there were some rough players. Of course, I had broken this leg more than five times. Of course, they got to know when the pain was there and they would take me to the orthopaedic hospital. When they got there, they would hang your leg up there for about three weeks or something.

How was law and order?

Again, the law enforcement agencies were extremely strict. If within a family, somebody made a mistake and committed a crime that warranted him to go to prison. You see! You cannot go to prison and come out freely. The society rejects you straight away. That is Lagos society. In fact, they won’t even come around you anymore. You would find that people were extremely careful. Yes, there were crimes, but not as frequent as they are today. You won’t even dare try to commit any offense because you have a name to protect.

Did you ever receive flogging from your parents?

I don’t think my father or mother had beaten me before. They would rather go and report in school. Well! We had a particular teacher in the school I went to. He was known for discipline. You don’t even need to go far. We call him Tiger. When they tell you I will report you to Ekun, you will just start begging them (Laughs).

Have you ever done anything that made your parents report you to Tiger? 

Of course, several times. There was an interesting one. A teacher said that Eve gave Adam apple. The student then asked the teacher that why would God be annoyed with Adam because of apple. The man now asked: which apple are you talking about? He said the apple that is coming out of the girl’s chest. He then mentioned the name of the girl. Immediately the teacher left, it wasn’t me but one of my friends that said let me see your apple. So, she just went to report to the headmaster. I can never ever forget that one and now that you mentioned that. Do you know what happened? The headmaster just called all the students. They rang the bell. The moment they mentioned the name of the fellow who mentioned the something, they mentioned my name. They paraded the three of us that didn’t know anything about it. So, we thought we were going to be punished for that and so we were preparing to receive some lashes. But the next thing we heard was that we expelled you from the school. It was so traumatic that I was thinking what I was going to tell them at home. The mother of one of us who was expelled was teaching in the same school. So, we went to take our portmanteau as we used to call it then. We now went down thinking what we were going to say and what we were going to do. Lagos for you, at that time, anybody could be your mother. A woman, who was walking by, saw us and asked why we were not in school and we told her that we were just expelled. She screamed that they just expelled you? No, follow me. We don’t know that woman from Adams. She went straight to the principal’s office and told him, my son, please just beat them. Don’t send them out of school, please and she started crying. What is funny there was that the headmaster knew all of us. He knew our parents and knew that this woman was not our parent, but this was a woman that was crying on our behalf. I can never ever forget that too. In Lagos then, your business was my business because they tell you at home that if you misbehave they would beat you from outside and send you back home. What you are doing in the house that they tolerate if you do it outside, they would correct you.

So, your parents never heard of you being expelled and a woman pleaded on your behalf?

No. They never heard of it. That was the end of the story. We were expelled yesterday and back to school the same day. I am still friends with all the friends up till today.

Why did you leave for England?

I left Lagos after the results of our HSC came out. While we were waiting for the results, I was employed at Central Bank of Nigeria. I worked for four months there. Our results came on Tuesday and on Thursday I was already prepared to leave. At that time, they would decide for you on what to do. You don’t decide for yourself. Luckily, the three of us travelled about the same time. That was the period they would read your results in the house. They tell you school by school. At this time, Central Bank was just starting. So, they came to class looking for people who would likely be something. They made a mistake in taking about four of us who are friends straight to Central Bank. So, we started at Central Bank. Central Bank resumes at 8 o’clock but we were still in the house that 8.

I remember Dr. (Clement) Isong was then the secretary of the bank. The man would have signed the attendance register. And I would be the first to be there at 8:05(a.m) or 8:15, signed and now write 8:00. My friend would come back and do same. One day, he called us and said: “You boys see me, your results have not even been called but you are here misbehaving. I have my this, I have my that.” My friends just replied that if they go and mark our scripts at the feet of Jesus Christ, we are going to pass and that was exactly what happened.

Four months later, the results came and, of course, we made it. Of course, I was lucky. I was the first of the group to travel within CBN to go to England. That was the advantage we had. We don’t choose. I wanted to do Law, but my parents said I should go and do Engineering and that was what I went to do. How they got in touch with Mr. Fenton, who was the Governor of CBN then, I don’t know and you don’t go to his office unnecessarily. If you go to his office three times, it means you are in trouble. One man came out to call me and said the Governor wanted to see me. I thought I was called upon because of my coming late and somebody had gone to report me. By the time I got to him, he just shook my hand and said congratulations, I saw your result, and you did very well. He said “left to me, I would have loved you to do banking in England. You worked for four months, you have 7 days leave. We are going to convert it to money for you.” I think my leave was about 11 pounds. Don’t make any mistake. At CBN, we were earning 32 pounds, while others were earning about 10 pounds. I left Lagos with 44 pounds in my account and when I came back, my 44 pounds was still there. So, the moment they said I should go, I just went to tell my friends that they said I should leave for England the day after tomorrow. They just went home and said to their parents that they wanted to go England too. We went about the same time and we came back about the same time and we are still friends up till today.

How was your experience when you got to England?

That was another interesting one. We went at a time when there were not too many Nigerians there and the average English man or woman wanted to see an African to check whether they had a tail in your something (Laughs). Before you knew, you had two or four girlfriends there. Thereafter, we started going out with them.

So, was there any form of racial discrimination while dating those white girls?

Well, there was but smart ones never told their parents that they were going out with a black man. Again, racism is there but we didn’t care.

How did you meet your wife?

During this period in England where we met those white girls, I thought I was going to marry one of them but, of course, my mother scattered everything and said no, it’s going to be on my dead body. At that time, especially in Lagos, parents decided a lot of things for you.

I met my wife after my girlfriend was driven out of my house in the UK by my mother. I met my wife through my mother.

And you just accepted her?

Okay, what do you want me to do? I had to, although, I didn’t like that idea. Sooner or later, I got to know why.

In the process, what were those things that finally got you endeared to her?

It is not the question of you didn’t like or something. We were friends first. Again, that is one thing that as a human being you cannot easily say this is why I like her, because there is hardly anything you would do if there is no blessing from your parents. I won’t say I liked her the moment I saw her.

Did you both disagree at times?

Who will not disagree? Again, with the little experience I have when it comes to disagreeing with a very good woman, my own method is to keep quiet. Whatever she says I won’t say a word and she has a way of coming back to say I’m sorry and that is the end of the story. As a human being, you must have this little thing which you don’t allow to fester for so long.

What gives you joy but maybe not plenty of money?

I believe in helping people by giving them instruments to fish rather than giving money.  Even if you want to give him money, give him the money to buy tools. Again, we are still lacking in that. When you open the TV now, you see a lot of our people having foundations. Before you go to other African countries to help people, why don’t you go back home. Make no mistake about that, some Africans are doing so well now. Their population is not as big as ours because we think we are big. We have the human resources today. Our people go out and say yes entrepreneur for African this, African that. Who were the first to go to South Africa? Are they not Nigerians? They established all sort of things there. Are there no backlashes against them now? If they had stayed with their people and developed along with their people things would have been different. I am not saying don’t go to South Africa but go and come back.

Considering your level of affluence, how have you been given to the underprivileged?

That is a very good question. My entrepreneurship programme has been extremely local. When I say local, I mean it is localised within Lagos. I was the President of the Lagos State Indigenes for more than 15 years. I belong to Isale-Eko Descendant Union, where we award scholarship to the indigenes of isale- Eko area. We expect the state government to do it, but they did not. But we are doing it. I cannot count the number of people I have helped from elementary school up to graduate level and to post graduate level. I don’t want to mention names but I am still doing it.