IN recent times, I started teaching on why many fathers (leaders) are being successful at work, but glaringly failing at home. This is becoming a routine and commonplace in this day and time. Most leaders of today are failing at home, but are very successful outside the four walls of their home. They are generous outside the four walls of their home, but very stingy at home. They are gentle as doves outside the four walls of their homes, attracting people to them but they habitually and constantly roar as lions in their homes, repelling their wives and children.
When men (leaders) begin to get drunk or high on the success that comes as an effect of the work of the hands, there would always be an imbalance between work and family. Many men were rock-solid family men, but when success began to come, they started losing the balance between their work and home. This is one of the major reasons I have chosen to set this platform up, raising men (leaders), who are both rock-solid at home and work.
It is possible to be a significant reformer in the community and fail woefully at home. I remember reading through the biography of a man, who said if he is opportune to come to this world again, he would devote more time to his family. He was always on the move for his purpose and assignment to the detriment of his family. He failed to strike a healthy balance between his work and family! What happened to him is happening to many men today.
Many men are failing at home, not because they are doing it deliberately, but because they do not know any better! They have never been taught how to strike a fit and healthy balance between work and family. Are you a man and you are finding it difficult to strike a healthy balance between your work and home? If yes, it is because of you that I have chosen to pen this article! Remember, until you can strike a healthy balance between your work and home, you would not be truly happy and your family members too would not be truly happy.
To be happy as a man (leader), you need to first establish a healthy balance between your work and your family life. You can achieve this by setting a healthy and vigorous balance as a priority and then by making the changes necessary for putting your life back into better balance. This will help you and your family a great deal.
Taking this crucial work and family issue further, there are only four ways in which you can change your life for the better as a man (leader over a home). You can do more of some things or you can do less of other things. You can start doing something that you are not doing today or you can stop doing something altogether. How do I mean?
To get your life back into balance, sit down with the members of your family and ask them four questions: “Is there anything that I am doing that you would like me to do more of? Is there anything that I am doing that you would like me to do less of? Is there anything that I am not doing that you would like me to start doing? Is there anything that I am doing that you would like me to stop doing altogether?” On the condition that you have the pluck, mettle and courage to ask these questions, you had better bring a lunch, because you are going to be there for a long time listening to the answers! Do this and watch your home change significantly and drastically! This principle works in every nation and generation and it works for everyone!
There is a simple two-part formula for achieving and maintaining balance in your work and family life. This formula requires that you divide your life into these two basic parts. You then develop a strategy for each part. How do I mean? At work, discipline yourself to “work all the time you work.” Don’t fool around or waste time. Don’t chat with coworkers, make personal phone calls, read the newspaper, take long lunches, or go shopping. Make sure you work all the time you work! Remember, if you don’t get your work done, it does not go away on its own. It will be waiting for you to take it home. As a result, when you waste time at work, you rob your family of your personal time. This is not a good policy!
The second part of the formula has to do with your family. When you are with your family, be there 100 per cent of the time. Remember, the only time that you are really with another person is when you are “in their face.” It is only when you are head-to-head, and knee-to-knee. Also, resolve to spend at least one hour per day with your spouse and at least ten to twenty minutes each day with each of your children. You can spend more time if you like, but it is not a good idea to spend less.
What then is the rule for balance? It is the quality of time at work that counts and quantity of time at home. Work requires quality time. Quality time is when you work fully-focused on the highest-value use of your time. You get on with the job and get it done quickly. You set priorities and work on your top tasks most of the time. You focus and concentrate on results throughout the workday. When you work, you work!
To sum up, your home on the other hand requires quality time. Your home requires long, unbroken periods of unstructured time to be truly enjoyable. You cannot afford to let your home suffer as an effect of your work. Till I come your way again next week Monday, see you where rock-solid men (leaders) are found!
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